[Captions by Richmond M. at Y Translator] People you won't believe actually exist.
There's a lot of people in this world,
7 million to be exact.
Hmm, how do I have 9 million subscribers, though.
Oh, okay.
7 billion!
Today, we're doing people who you won't believe actually exist.
Some people do some crazy stuff.
I spilled water on my shirt and now it looks like a bleach stain.
This is water!
Isn't it supposed to make it darker?
Maybe, my water is, like, acidic or something.
No! no!
Ashley, Ashley, Ashley.
You really are gonna get Grandma Gertrude's 98-year-old ass into the bathroom
to hold up your leg for a selfie.
This is disgraceful!
She don't even know what's going on!
Like, "Ashley, what are we doing in the bathroom?
Do you have to go?"
"Hol' on, Grandma. Just hold my leg up like this.
I wanna look, like, real thicc."
Don't have a date to prom? [SNEERS]
Who needs another human?
It's 2018.
You bring whoever you want to prom.
Like this dude, he brought his Xbox!
"This here's my Xbox. I have so much fun with her.
I've spent thousands of hours with her. She's just a lot of fun.
She got more personality than any of these bitches here."
He looks so excited, too.
Good for him, man!
I hope they get married one day.
I don't know. They probably broke up when the Xbox One came out.
This girl who's blow-drying her teeth.
You see, some people, they have a really wet mouth.
They have an excess of saliva.
And so, after brushing their teeth, they have to use a dryer
to dry all that excess saliva so they don't spit on you when they talk.
This guy who one day woke up and decided to plank on the McDonald's sign.
Of all the places you could plank.
No, he's already planked everywhere before.
He wanted to take his planking to the next level,
and you know what he did?
I don't know how he got up there, I don't know how he's, like, laying flat on it
and not, like, falling off.
So many questions for this dude right here.
He's just straight chillin', taking his afternoon nap
on the McDonald's sign.
And then he gonna just slide right down that pole like a stripper,
and go get himself a Big Mac.
This woman, she loved "Where the Wild Things Are" so much,
she decided to become one of them.
Always follow your dreams.
Become whatever you wanna be.
If you wanna be a big fluffy monster, you do that.
I believe in you.
This woman right here!
She tried to ride an escalator with her wheelchair!
Oh, no! What is this mess?
She tries go up, like, "Oh, what could happen?"
What could happen?
Only the worst-possible-case scenario.
Oh, no.
And then the guy, he falls, too.
Oooh.
"Me in my first day in a wheelchair:
"Hey, can this go up a escalator?"
Oh, no, no, no!
This woman got stuck in the movies and whoever:
"I'm the asshole.
Instead of trying to help her, how 'bout let me take a picture real quick."
I just wanted to show you for when you get out of this situation,
how funny and ridiculous this is.
And you can always look back on it and smile.
But really, I may just post it on Twitter.
Like, 'Look what happened to my mom!'
Ha! My mom, she's so dumb,
she don't know how to use her butt." [LAUGHS]
But this is actually. like, hella dangerous,
like, you could get stuck in this, and, like, literally can't get out.
I don't know how this happened in the first place.
Like, she was probably messing around trying to get all comfy, like,
"I paid $10.50 for this seat, I'm goin' make my ass comfy".
Was it worth it, Deborah?
[MIMICS NARRATOR] Here we have the mama cheetah and the baby cheetah
in their natural habitat:
going to an ATM to get cash to go to the Gucci store.
I understand an old lady dressin' like this.
But dressing her son like that, too? He even got a tail and everything.
Okay, some people, they just really like cheetahs.
I don't know. You remember what I said?
“You wanna be a cheetah.
You could be a cheetah. But don't be a cheater.”
Oh no!
No!
What is you doin'?
We got Barbara over here in the meat aisle.
She didn't have any clean shirts today.
So, you know what she did?
She tucked her tatas
into her pants.
That is not a romper.
Those are pants that she just pulled up.
And you know the girls?
They a little sad. They a little depressed.
They feeling down, you know, under the weather.
But, you know what?
She's just gonna put her pants up, like,
"Why wear a shirt when I could just pull the pants up over them?"
Ahhh, Barbara, Barbara, Barbara!
Get your meat and go. [LAUGHS]
[SIGHS] We got this woman working out Lowe's!
Not even Home Depot, but Lowe's,
wearing nude colored tights.
What is the point?
Are they a little too tight,
where it looks like she's not even wearing pants?
We got this woman over here just walking her dog,
except her dog is a computer from the 90s.
Man, don't judge her.
What are you judging her for?
She's just taking her dog for a walk.
I wonder if anybody went up to her like,
"Hey, that's a really cute dog.
Can I pet it?
Oh, what's this dog so hard for?
He's really slow."
Whoa! We got this dude who's also a witch!
How is he floating?
There's not even a trampoline under him.
Did he just jump off the roof and go into the pool?
Y'all, I want to know, what kind of voodoo magic is this?
Cedric died for this.
Ahhh. Another one. When you've planked everywhere,
you've done all the planks, when you're a professional planker,
you plank on everything.
This guy, wanna take it to the next level and plank on a tiger!
On a sleeping tiger!
While there are other tigers watching him!
Like, he make one wrong move and he's done.
They goin' bite off his foot.
He eyeing that Rolex right now, like,
"Hmm, I'm bet I'll look good in that,"
like, waiting for this chance to snatch it.
"Human, I see you.
How dare you come into our cage and plank on our elder?
You're gonna die”.
In the MySpace days, I feel like a lot of girls took pics like this,
including me.
Me, I used to do my hair like this all the time,
but not like that big!
I used to have those little bump-it things.
It's like a little plastic attachment you put on the back of your head,
and then, like, you comb your hair over it,
and it makes like a little poof.
She taking it to the next level.
She got a whole crown – a bump-it –
to, like, puff up her hair.
I know these girls like spray a whole can of hairspray in that shit.
It ain't cute.
No! No, honey! What is you doing?
He is eatin' a slice of pizza with chopsticks.
This is the equivalent of eating noodles with a spoon.
And then, that is exactly what I would do
if I saw his ass eating pizza with chopsticks.
I would sit right across from him,
whip out my ramen noodles,
eat 'em with a spoon.
This girl, who thought she looked so damn good,
like, she goin' lay down right in the cheese aisle,
and have a little photo shoot.
"I'm trying to get on the Kraft PR list."
"What are you doin' with your life?"
You know the dairy aisle?
There's like a mirror in the corner.
Probably was looking at her cheese,
saw herself real quick, like,
"Hmm, I look damn good. So do these cheeses.
Say cheese!”
Man, I feel like this one is a little bit more normal.
Just another day in Costco,
and where this dad had enough of his kid,
He's like, "Okay, you ain't gonna walk with me?
I'm goin' just carry you." [CHUCKLES]
He's just gonna lift him by the jacket. Great parenting!
Over here, we got this woman casually eating a block of cheese.
Not a cheese string, not a slice, a whole damn block!
I never seen a woman like cheese so ...
Oh, I actually ... We just did.
All these girls out here.
"Put me up on the Kraft PR list!"
"Send me that monthly cheese package."
Oh, my God! Whose mans is this?
We got this Brazilian girl who is six feet and nine inches.
She's almost seven feet tall!
So, it's just the height difference is insane!
But you know, they're getting married,
they love each other and all that good stuff.
This is what happens when you wear Crocs!
You will get a nasty disease.
So, don't wear Crocs.
Or don't wear a Crocs in the Sun.
That's probably the worst tan I've ever seen.
Oh, maybe I should do a video on this.
Leave a like if I should do a video on worst tan lines ever
because I think that would be really good.
We got this dude who's riding the bus,
in some high-fashion Dior, AKA, a trash bag.
"If you're gonna call me trash, I'm just gonna act like one, okay?"
"Girl, you're gonna caught me trashy?
I'll show you trashy."
And he became trash.
Nothing to see here. Just some guy, Old Country Buffet,
getting his lunch with a boombox.
Hey, grandpa!
You know you can listen to music from your phone?
Even comes with, like, headphones and everything!
Like, you don't have to carry around that boom box anymore, man.
It's 2018.
[SCREAMS]
What is this?
This dude took a koala stuffed animal,
took the stuffing out, cut some holes in it,
put it on his ... What the hell?
It's actually. like, a hella-good Halloween costume,
like take a old stuffed animal, make some holes in it.
Ohhh, man, this is good!
Hella creepy, too.
We got grandma lit over here!
"Y'all kids with your weed and your alcohol.
I'll show you how to party. I'll show you ...
How you say, 'Get ... lit?' Y'all doing it wrong.
Gertrude will show you how to party!"
Grandma, don't do it, please! Come on!
You're like one shot away from dying.
When your parents tell you to pull up your pants.
"Okay, I'll pull up these ones.
And then I'll have two more, that are saggy hella low."
I mean, at least his butt's not showing.
My parents hated this shit,
like they'd always yell at my brothers for doing this.
But, I mean, this guy,
he's not like showing his undies or anything,
and he's sagging like the other two.
Only, what's the point of this, though?
Is it supposed to look gangster?
How do you walk without trippin'?
What if the homies come up on you?
You got to be able to, like, run away or fight them or somethin'.
I feel like this will put you at a really big disadvantage. [CHUCKLES]
No! This girl, she put a Doritos bag as a bow! [LAUGHS]
Oh, man!
"Girl, that's a nice bow. What you got in your hair?"
"Cool Ranch."
"My favorite."
This woman got her grandma in the cart
and just put all the sodas around Grandma.
"Grandma, you comfy? You good?"
I can't imagine that to be comfy.
I don't know how the hell she gonna get out of there,
like, you're gonna have to, like, lift her like a child
swing over your shoulder, put her in the seat.
[LAUGHS] This is me. Sometimes I travel and I gotta upload.
What if you don't have a laptop?
Just bring your Mac.
It's not like you have, like, a whole tower or anything.
Like, it's just a iMac.
I mean, it's not the worst thing in the world.
I can totally understand this dude because I've brought my iMac places,
I've brought it to a hotel.
But, I mean, not to a Starbucks, but ...
I feel this guy. This is very relatable to me.
This woman who thinks she's a cat.
"When people ask me, 'How does it feel to be a cat?'
I'm like, 'How does it feel to be a human?'"
Argh! Are we really gonna sit here and play this game?
Like I said, "2018." Be what you want to be.
I believe in you."
Unless you wanna be a cat. You cannot be a cat.
We got this lady who is so damned tired of waiting in the line,
she brought herself a chair, sat her ass down.
Girl, really!
This is so extra, I can't!
Like girl, there's only two people ahead of you!
You're not waiting overnight for a Ariana Grande concert!
You waitin' in Burger King!
[MOUTH POP] Whatever.
But anyways, that's all for today. I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
If you did, make sure you hit that like button in the face. [PUNCH SOUND]
And comment below which one was your favorite.
And subscribe! Join the wolf pack! [HOWLS]
I love you guys so much! Thanks for watching. Bye, guys!
[Music]