"Boys will be Boys" is an adage used to explain when boys — and men — do something stupid,
thinking with their penises instead of their brains.
Many times, bad things have happened when men got sexually frustrated and attempted
to ease that frustration.
When dumb-dumbs can't find a mate, they can make rash decisions that lead to their junk
getting stuck in places it should never have been in the first place...
Here’s a list of people that didn’t heed that adive.
Make a sure to press like, and subscribe to our channel, or 7 years of bad luck for your
penis.
Last month in Worms, Germany, a muscle head reportedly stuck his swollen member into the
hole of a 2.5 kg weight plate.
In a panic, the man needed assistance from local fire department to get his junk free.
Firefighters took over three HOURS alone to get the chastity weight off him.
They worked with a series of power tools to get him out, including both a "cutting grinder"
and a "vibrating saw."
The Fire department posted the nasty bits on their Facebook page, warning people against
such temptations.
The man very well could've ended up losing his member all together.
Back in 2013, a man in London decided that the slot on his toaster reminded him of a
robot vagina and decided to give it his best.
He too wound up calling for assistance from his local firefighters.
While the man requested anonymity, the fire department released his story.
They were reportedly fed up with men getting their members stuck in appliances.
They had noticed a considerable uptick in appliance-related calls after the release
of Fifty Shades of Grey.
So, they dubbed it the phenomenon the 'Fifty Shades Effect.'
“I don’t know whether it’s the ‘Fifty Shades’ effect, but the number of incidents
involving items like handcuffs seems to have gone up,” London firefighter Dave Brown
said.
In addition to the toaster oven situation, London emergency services had to deal with
the following since the release of Fifty Shades:
•Seventy-nine incidents involving people being trapped in handcuffs.
•Nine instances of men with rings stuck on their penises.
In London, there have been 1,300 calls since 2010 involving people with their hands or
genitals quote ”trapped or stuck."
That's a considerable increase and proves how influential media can be to a species
of animal that is one of perhaps two or three — with dolphins and apes — that have sex
for fun.
Considering the viral video of a chimp bumping uglies with a frog, it's nice to know we're
not alone when it comes to using random objects for forbidden pleasure.
Speaking of 'Fifty Shades of Grey,' when the London Fire Brigade released the story of
the man and the toaster as a cautionary tale, they should've warned people about penis rings
too.
But they didn't and the 'Fifty Shades Effect' continued unabated from 2013 until February
of this year.
They announced again that they'd been responding to a massive amount of calls involving men
getting their members stuck in penis rings.
Between April of 2016 and February 2017, the Fire Brigade had responded to almost 10 calls
involving men, their schlongs, and penis rings.
In addition to cock rings, they also had responded to a ton of calls involving handcuffs.
Meanwhile, according to that report, the number of calls involving men getting stuck in household
appliances had dropped significantly.
So, the Brigade started a new campaign, dubbed ' the Fifty Shades of Red.'
At the time, the Director of Operations of London's Fire Brigade said:
"We're pleased that fewer people are getting themselves stuck in difficult situations and
reducing call outs, however, it seems the Fifty Shades of Grey effect is still leading
to some call embarrassing call outs.
I'd like to remind everyone that 999 is an emergency number and should only be used as
such.
If there's a genuine emergency, fire crews will of course attend and will be on the scene
to help within minutes."
He concluded: “If the ring doesn't fit, don't force it
on.”
If only someone had told Smeagol.
Of all the materials a dude could consider slipping his junk into, metal should be the
last one.
It's unforgiving when it comes to bending or changing shape — it can't feel good in
the first place, either.
A man in Spain failed to heed warning and stuck his weiner in a steel tube that was
around 2 centimeters in diameter, take from that what you will.Per usual, a fire brigade
was dispatched and worked on the piece of pipe.
Because of the amount of time it took, the man's sausage was almost amputated.
The 52-year-old man's dong was inflamed and still erect within the steel tube.
In addition to the 2 centimeter diameter, it was 4 millimeters thick and 5 centimeters
in length.
At first, doctors thought amputation was the sole solution but the fire brigade rescued
the man's mini me.
To cut the tube, they used a tool the man had purchased himself, earlier that month.
Without it, the firefighters wouldn't have been able to remove the tube and his penis
would've wound up on the operating table.
The removal took over two hours and, according to the fire bridage's spokesperson, was a
quote ”team effort."
Considering the man purchased the tool they used, he played a huge part on that team — but
considering the size of the metal tube, he perhaps wasn't THAT big of a member.
A 28-year-old South African man apparently thought he'd surprise his wife by putting
his wedding ring around his penis.
You know like every girl grows up drwaming of.
While the logistics sound impossible, pictures suggest the man was "normal" when it came
to size.
When the unfortunate man placed the ring on his member "for erotic reasons on the recommendation
of his friend" who totaly exists and is not made up… he came closer to losing his penis
than anyone mentioned so far.
The situation was so rare and intense that it ended up in the South African Medical Journal.
Described as "penile strangulation" and a "rarely described medical emergency," it represented
a once in a lifetime opportunity for the surgeons present.
According to the Journal, after hours of attempting to remove the ring with multiple tools, the
surgeons determined that the ring was too "wide" and thick.
As the penis reportedly turned blue from swelling, the only course of action was to use an "aspiration
technique" — a type of biopsy procedure.
The surgeons inserted a "fine needle" into the swollen member to release pressure and
fluid, allowing the phallus to return to its former glory and slip back out of the ring.
“that Vile Fiend ugh, duh, daa, ah dad, that’s his crotch”.
Sounds like a type of torture even Genghis Khan would've called overkill.
A lonely 50-year-man thought he had found the perfect replacement for a woman in October
of last year: the bottle of beer he had just consumed.
Pleasuring himself to help deal with his loneliness, he made the matter much, much worse because
he won't be able to ever have sex again in his life.
Doctor Dennis Chirinos, the urologist who performed the surgery to remove what was left
of the man's penis, spoke with the media in Honduras and summed up the case perfectly:
"Yes it's a strange case, it's happened before, but it's still strange.
We had a 50-year-old patient that because he didn't have a girlfriend or wife wanted
to relieve his sexual frustration.
So he put his penis in a bottle and this caused the death and necrosis of the penis.
When he arrived four days later, we had to amputate the penis completely, because it
was completely dead."
Wait, question, so he came with the bottle still attached to his penis?
The Doctor said Yes!
When you put your penis into a bottle it causes a constriction in the blood vessels of the
penis and in four hours you can lose the penis.
This is an embarrassing emergency.
He didn't get medical attention in time and this caused the penis to begin to decay and
die completely.
There was no choice but to remove the penis.
It had gone completely black and begun to decay.
The necrosis was very severe."
According to the urologist, the man will still be able to urinate out of the stump they left
for him but that's about it.
It's the ultimate irony.
You can't help but feel for the guy who can never feel again.
We all know car lovers, but non like this.
There are few things a man loves more than his automobile.
For whatever reason, cars appeal to manly men in a way that few things do.
Some men love their cars on an almost sexual level.
They respond to pictures of muscle cars with the same "ooh's" and "aah's" they would for
a model in lingerie.
So, it's no surprise that a man in Brazil took that one step further and ended up having
sex with the tailpipe of his car.
There's video online of a man having his way with the exhaust of a Volkswagen hatchback.
When the man turns around and realizes he's being filmed, he's so horny he just keeps
on thrusting away like his life depends on it.
This entry is a bit different than the others in that it wasn't so much a sexual thing as
a call of nature thing.
Considering the horrifying outcome though, it's worthy of a mention.
According reports, a man under the influence got the urge to drain his bladder at a bus
stop in the cold winter of Stavropol, Russia.
Because he was three sheets to the wind and it was 22 below zero, he decided that the
bus shelter was the best spot for him to free willy.
As he went about his business, he staggered and the tip of his wet willy touched frozen
metal.
Just like in A Christmas Story, his wang fused with the bus shelter.
To add insult to injury, a large group of people formed around him, some to offer advice,
others just to troll.
A passerby named Valery Levchenko ran home, grabbed a kettle of warm water and freed the
man from his icy embarrassment.
He refused medical help and took off running after he was freed.
Speaking of losing your penis because of your urge to use it, in 2008, a 41-year-old man
in Hong Kong named Le Xing was also in dire straits.
Xing, who was most likely homeless told police that he "thought it would be fun" to have
sex with a specially-designed park bench.
Xing may be the most famous member of this list.
News crew swarmed on the rescue efforts as doctors, police and (surprise, surprise) the
fire department raced to save a penis.
There is graphic footage of the rescue online, an effort that took a few hours.
Doctors attempted to drain blood from Xing's penis to reduce the swelling and allow him
to rebuild his dignity.
However, that didn't work.
Rescuers had to cut through steel to free him from the bench.
Even after they succeeded in cutting the section of metal around Xing's groin, they still had
to get him to the hospital: his penis was still encased in steel!
It took surgeons four more hours to free him.
Word was that if he had been stuck for one more hour, the doctors would've been forced
to amputate.
I just hope that bench was sexy.
Most of these stories sound too ridiculous to be true but this one takes the cake.
A dwarf performing at the Fringe Festival in Edinburgh, Scotland takes top spot on this
list of embarrassing proclivities.
Daniel Blackner performed in the Circus of Horrors under the name Captain Dan the Demon
Dwarf.
Part of his show involved a Henry vacuum and his weenie.
He noticed before the show that part of the vacuum that connected his member to the household
appliance had gone loose.
It was last minute, so he could only find super glue to reattach the missing piece to
the vacuum.
Because the show was already starting, he only had about 20 seconds for the glue to
dry — instead of the 20 minutes it required.
The adhesive dried on his penis gluing it to the vacuum.
After trying to remove the appliance, the Demon Dwarf was taken to the Accident and
Emergency department of the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary.
There, a team of nurses tried for over an hour to free his little general from his penile
prison.
Captain Dan said: "It was the most embarrassing moment of my
life when I got wheeled into a packed A&E with a vacuum attached to me.
I just wished the ground could swallow me up.
Luckily, they saw me quickly so the embarrassment was short-lived."
A source from the Daily Mail in the UK confirmed with the hospital that they did indeed treat
the "performer," despite saying they couldn't confirm how he was treated for confidentiality
reasons.
Either way, since we have photographic proof, this may be the best example of what not to
do in Internet history.
Make sure to press like on this video and subscribe to our channel for more videos to
come or your penis will get stuck somewhere you don't want it to be.
“argh, my groin”.