How many times have you negotiated this past year? You might be thinking, Well,
never. I don't really negotiate in English as part of my job,
but let me ask you this.
When was the last time you negotiated for an extended deadline
or asked for a change in your job schedule?
When was the last time you asked for a promotion or a raise at work?
When was the last time you negotiated with your spouse or partner to finish up
the dinner dishes or when was the last time you negotiate with your kids to wake
up and get dressed on time for school?
It's surprising just how often we negotiate in our everyday lives.
Knowing how to successfully negotiate not only helps you resolve conflict or
get what you want,
but it also helps you build better relationships and create
lasting solutions. And this Confident English lesson today,
you're going to learn four essential strategies,
plus 20 phrases to help you successfully negotiate in English.
But first, if you don't already know,
I'm Annemarie with Speak Confident English.
Everything I do is designed to help you get the confidence you want for your
life and work in English.
One way I do that is with my weekly Confident English lessons where I share my
top fluency and confidence building strategies,
targeted grammar lessons and communication skills training,
just like in this lesson today. So while you watch this lesson,
make sure that you give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my YouTube channel so
you never miss one of these lessons. Now,
let's get right to it with strategy. Number one,
identify your ultimate goals, limits and alternatives.
Before you enter into a negotiation,
you have to know what you want in the end. In other words,
you need to know your ultimate goal. To help you figure that out,
ask yourself this question,
What do I want the outcome of this negotiation to be?
When you know the answer to that question,
it's important to communicate it clearly and directly in the
negotiation without any bells or whistles. In other words,
without any enhancements or extra additions, you want to keep it simple.
For example, you might have a meeting with your boss and say,
I want to discuss getting a raise that matches my current level of expertise and
responsibilities. With that statement,
it's extremely clear what you are looking for. With that said,
we don't always get exactly what we want.
There tends to be a compromise somewhere in that negotiation,
so you need to be prepared for that,
and that's where knowing your ultimate limits and alternatives is important as
well. In other words,
if you have an ideal amount for the raise that you're looking for,
what is the bottom limit? What is the ultimate minimum that you'd accept?
That's your bottom limit,
or are there any alternatives you're willing to discuss? Instead of a raise,
are you willing to look at increased benefits?
Knowing the answers to those questions are essential Before you go into
that negotiation, in thinking through your goals,
limits and alternatives,
essentially what you're doing is identifying your bottom line.
And once you know what that bottom line is,
here are several phrases you can use in English to communicate it. Clearly,
I draw the line at X because of Y. For example,
I draw the line at getting a raise because I want to see an increase in my
salary. With that statement,
what you're saying is you're not interested in alternatives,
you're not willing to discuss anything else other than an increase in your
income. Similar to saying that you're drawing a line or setting a boundary,
you can say X is non-negotiable because of Y.
A raise is non-negotiable because I want to see an increase in my salary
or anything less than X will not meet my needs.
And lastly, I'm willing to meet you halfway at X,
but anything less than that is non-negotiable.
When you're willing to meet someone halfway,
you're willing to compromise With this first strategy,
I'm using several example sentences around the topic of asking for a raise
at work. I did that intentionally because asking for a raise is often quite
uncomfortable and I want you to know how to do it successfully.
So let's finish strategy number one with a scenario that really
brings all of this together.
Let's say you've been in conversations with your boss about a raise
and your boss has proposed an alternative rather than an increase in
salary, the company wants to offer other benefits.
You're not really interested in that,
so here's how you could respond using what you've learned in this strategy.
An increase in my salary is non-negotiable because it will ensure that I'm
able to keep up with the current cost of living in this city and it matches
my current workload here in the company.
There's one last thing I want to mention here before we go on to strategy number
two, and I want to underscore the importance of identifying your goals,
limits and alternatives.
Negotiating is also cultural, and in English speaking culture,
it's common for us to seek a win-win solution.
In other words, a situation in which everyone wins,
everyone gets something that they want. Going into a negotiation,
knowing your upper limits, your bottom limits,
and any alternatives you're open to discussing will help you have a
successful win in the end. And that leads me into strategy number two,
find common ground and build rapport.
This is part of creating an environment of seeking a
win-win solution.
What this means is rather than go into a negotiation or discussion
immediately demanding what you want,
it's important to enter into the negotiation slowly and keep in mind the
relationship you have with the other person.
If you know that individual or even if it's someone new to you,
a potential client, it's important to establish rapport,
to build a relationship, and we do that through small talk.
Small talk allows us to identify common ground and also
feel out where the other person is, what is their point of view,
how are they doing?
All of that will inform how you begin the process of negotiating.
So once you're ready for that negotiation, that meeting that you've scheduled,
start with some basic small talk questions such as, how's your day going? Or,
I heard you just got back from vacation. How was it?
Then once you've had a little bit of time to get comfortable with each other,
you can transition into the point of the conversation.
You might do that with something such as, Well, I don't wanna waste your time,
so let me get right to the point.
I'd like to discuss a raise that matches my current level of expertise
and the responsibilities I have here at the company.
Before we move on to strategy number three,
let's look at one more example of a small top question you could use if
you're meeting a potential buyer or a potential client.
Imagine you're meeting with a potential buyer of your product for the very first
time. You've shaken hands,
you've just sat down and you're feeling a little bit awkward.
How do you get things going?
Here's a small talk question you could use in organizing this meeting with you
today. I had the opportunity to interact with quite a few of your team members.
You seem super organized. What's the secret in your organization?
With that small top question,
you are creating a friendly open environment,
starting out with something positive and allowing a little bit of small talk to
occur before you get into the negotiation. And now, strategy Number three,
understand the other side just as you want to know exactly
what your goals, limits and alternatives might be.
You want to have a sense of what the goals, limits,
and alternatives of the other side might be.
Knowing what the other side is thinking or what their point of view is will
allow you to make a better decision and weigh your options
before you go into the negotiation.
To weigh one's options means to assess the pros and cons of
a situation or potential decision. In addition to that,
understanding the other side's position will help you have stronger
arguments. When you're ready to discuss what you want,
not only can you anticipate what the other side wants prior to the negotiation,
you can also ask questions during the conversation to get better insight,
and here are several questions you can use.
What do you think is a fair and reasonable solution,
outcome or number and why?
Could you please tell me more about how you arrived at X? For example,
could you please tell me more about how you arrived at that decision,
or could you tell me more about why you arrived at deciding?
Offering benefits is a better choice than offering the raise.
Similarly, why do you believe X?
Why is X important to you?
Why is it important to you to offer benefits as opposed to an increase in
salary?
What part of my proposal causes hesitancy or what part
of my proposal is causing you concern?
Each one of those questions will help you understand the other
motives and anything influencing their decision. As a result,
you are more equipped to respond appropriately,
argue for what you want or compromise successfully.
The last strategy for a successful negotiation in English is to
establish trust and everything that we've talked about prior to this strategy
helps you do that. Establishing common ground, building rapport,
asking open ended questions to better understand someone's motive or
situation. In addition to those strategies,
here are four more techniques you can use to gain trust.
Number one, speak directly and concisely.
We talked about this a bit in strategy number one,
when I said it's important to communicate what you want.
Clearly this is essential for the other side,
so there's no gray area or room for misunderstanding.
What this means is using concrete, straightforward language,
for example, rather than give a range of numbers, for example,
we'd like to have this finished within the next three to five months.
Be clear with what you want,
provide dates and the specific results you're looking for. For example,
we want this finished by January 5th next year.
Do you notice the difference?
Rather than giving some gray estimate of three to five months,
we're giving an ultimate deadline of a date.
Reducing the potential for misunderstanding or miscommunication is
part of building trust.
The second technique you can use is to show interest and openness.
Instead of bending the truth in the negotiation,
it's important to be sincere and honest.
When communicating your goals and the reasons for them to bend the truth is a
fantastic expression to know. In English,
it means to say some of the truth, but not all of it.
There are some things that you're hiding so that you are likely to get the
response that you want.
In addition to communicating your goals with sincerity and honesty,
it's important to also ask those questions we talked about in strategy number
three with sincerity and honesty,
express genuine curiosity to understand someone
else's position,
what they're having to think through and the decisions they have to make in
order to meet you halfway.
The third technique you can use to build trust is to actively listen.
Now,
I have a whole lesson on the topic of how to show that you're actively listening
in English, and I'll leave a link to that lesson below if you want to know more,
but here are a couple of keys to actively listening.
In English speaking culture, we maintain eye contact. Now,
we don't stare nonstop. Of course, we occasionally blink and look away,
but maintaining eye contact indicates that we're focused on you and
what you're saying.
What you're expressing is important enough for me to listen carefully,
and I tell you that through eye contact. In addition to that,
we also tend to ask clarifying questions or repeat what
we heard you say to make sure we understood correctly. For example,
you're saying it's not possible for your team to get this finished by January
5th. Is that correct? Or if I understood you correctly, you're thinking X,
Is that right? What I heard you say was X,
Have I understood correctly? And lastly,
could you clarify what you meant by and then repeat what it is
that you're not really sure about?
Before we talk about the fourth technique you can use to build trust.
Let's look at a scenario where you might hear some of this language.
Imagine you're traveling with a friend and at the very last minute,
your friend wants to change the itinerary for the last couple days of your trip,
and you're not really so sure about this.
You like having a plan and sticking to the plan,
so your friend proposes an idea and you summarize what you've understood by
saying, I think I understand. So what you're saying is,
rather than go to the museum today,
you want to save it to the last day of our trip because you think it won't be as
crowded. Is that right? In saying that,
you're letting your friend know that you've listened carefully and you're
working hard to understand their side. Now,
you may or may not agree with that. You may want to stick to the plan,
but you are acknowledging that you've heard and understood what your friend has
suggested.
And now the fourth technique you can use in strategy number four for building
trust is to use inclusive language.
Let's compare these two sentences.
I want a solution that satisfies these conditions versus
we need a solution that satisfies these conditions.
What do you notice about those two sentences? Of course,
the first one begins with I.
I'm creating a conversation in which it is me against you.
We want different things. We're not in this together. However,
when I switch to inclusive language with the word we,
I'm recognizing that we both want a solution.
We both want an ideal outcome to this particular need that we have.
We're in this together.
We're going to work together to find a solution that makes everybody happy.
Now that you have these four strategies on how to successfully negotiate in
English as well as several phrases you can use, I have two questions for you.
Number one,
give me an example of a situation in which you might need to negotiate in
English. It could be a situation at work or outside of work.
What strategy or phrase did you learn today that you will use to help you
next time? And number two,
if you have a go-to strategy to help you successfully negotiate that
I didn't share today, I would love to know what it is.
With both of those questions,
you can share your answers with me in the comments below.
That's also a great place to share any questions you have.
If you found today's lesson helpful, be sure to let me know.
You can do that in one very simple way.
Give this lesson a thumbs up here on YouTube, and while you're at it,
don't forget to subscribe as well. Thank you so much for joining me,
and I look forward to seeing you next time for your Confident English lesson.