- Hi everyone, welcome back to
Aspergers From The Inside, you're here with Paul.
So, I don't know if you've had this experience,
where you have an amazing incredible idea
and you share it with a group
and then, nothing happens.
They don't act on it, they don't acknowledge it,
it feels like they hardly even consider
the idea at all and then maybe another time
maybe a little bit later,
someone else suggests exactly the same idea
and all of a sudden people are like,
"yeah, that's great lets do that".
So, the quintessential example
of this for me goes back,
goes back to primary school.
And it might be something like,
"hey guys, why don't we have a game of basketball?"
And everyone just sort of, doesn't really respond,
sort of looks around,
looks at each other.
And what they're doing is
because I'm not the leader,
they're looking towards the natural leader,
they're looking towards their peers to see,
does everyone else think this is a good idea or not.
The weird kid over there has suggested something
and I don't want to put my hand up and say,
"yes, that's a good idea"
until I'm sure that everyone else
also thinks that's a good idea.
Conversely, when what I would call the natural leader
of the group mentions something,
people know that if that person
says something's a good idea,
it's likely that everyone else is also gonna agree
so it's safe to say,
"yes I agree, that's a good idea".
And so, in that sense being,
there's a good reason why,
being autistic means you're probably not
a natural born leader.
And this is because very often
the things that I do are not the kind of things
that other people want to do
or even more specifically,
it's not the kind of things
that other people want to follow.
So, for example if we're all sitting down in a group,
sometimes I might get up and walk around
or do my own thing.
You don't want to follow the guy
who's doing his own thing, right.
Because, why would you do that?
You wanna, most people want to follow
what is safe to do in the group,
what is everyone else doing.
Whereas, the leader of the group is likely
to do something that other people
are also going to want to do.
which means if the leader does something
new and different, you're like,
"oh wow, why don't I do that too?"
I'll be one of the first followers,
people will then come and do the same thing as well
and I'll be cool and I'll be popular and whatever
everyone, everyone's happy.
I know this is a very,
I'm getting a little bit into my special
and just over emotional intelligence and behavior here.
And clearly I've been studying this
for a very very long time,
both professionally and just in my own, in my own life.
And, this insight really helped me understand,
like, because I used to think it wasn't fair,
I used to think that the quality of the idea
was all that mattered and it was really unfair
that when I came up with a good idea,
no one listened and when someone else
suggested the same idea, it actually happened.
Whereas, I find now having an understanding of
what the difference is
and why people don't naturally follow me,
helps me to not be quite so angry
at the world for that,
because it felt like a massive injustice.
Because I was having these good ideas
and no one was doing anything about it.
So, that's interesting.
There's actually another way,
so, if we're not natural born leaders
what are we?
And another explanation is that,
our ideas are often so ahead of their time
that people, the people around us
just don't get them yet.
I had the privilege of having a chat
to Judy Singer just recently.
And she was talking about neurodiversity in 1990.
I saw a meme on Facebook the other day,
the year 2050 is as far away as 1990, right.
That was 30 years ago now,
and you'd think we'd come a long way since then
and we have,
nowadays we talk about neurodiversity a lot,
but 30 years ago she was well ahead of her time,
probably 30 years ahead of her time
and if you took out that this is now
and started reading it you go,
"oh yip yip, that's a good explanation
"of what neurodiversity is."
However, people who are decades
or even more ahead of their time,
have a lot of trouble finding other people
around them who understand their idea enough
and understand the implications of the idea
and how good is this idea enough,
to actually want to follow.
There's something called a like an innovation curve,
which many, many of you have seen,
I wonder if you can see this, it's almost like,
I'm so far out here,
that I've got this idea before anyone else
like decades before anyone else
and of course no one else thinks it's a good idea yet
'cause they don't know what it is
and then eventually more and more people catch on
and then eventually it becomes mainstream
and then all of a sudden everyone's doing it
and it's a trend.
And then, you know.
So, if we are not leaders,
and I don't want to generalize right,
maybe some of you are,
maybe some of us are.
If we're not leaders,
what a lot of autistic people are,
are innovators.
So, this is something good to remember
because we're not all born to be leaders
but if you are an innovator,
you have something very valuable
to give to the world.
And you're the kind of person
that people will look back
and eventually realize how good your idea was,
when it gets going and when people can finally
see the result of your innovation.
So, that's why people and companies
and any one that invests for lack of a better word,
in cultivating autistic people,
in making sure that we're included in society.
That's why it's a good idea
to make the world more autism-friendly
so that we can give our contribution to society.
Because, as I mentioned we're not gonna be,
we're unlikely to be the ones out the front,
leading the charge of masses of people right,
that requires popularity,
that requires understanding
exactly what the majority of people think and feel
and the majority of people think and feel things
that ae significantly different to what I think and feel.
So if I assume someone else is gonna react
the same as me I'm probably,
I'm probably gonna be wrong
and on a big scale that's often the case.
So, I found this insight for myself really helpful
that I'm not trying to do that,
instead my ideas are innovative,
my ideas are going to resonate
with a small group of people
and we're gonna start slowly attracting
more and more attention
and the world is gonna change, eventually.
We're not bashing our head against the brick wall
we're just at the very very very very start,
of this exponential curve that will,
that will take off later.
Does that make sense?
Hopefully it does.
Anyway, if not,
bad luck you've already watched the video.
Okay, hope you've enjoyed this
and I'll see you again another time, bye.