[Music]
[Applause]
my 12th standard I had a story in my
English book while going places how many
of you know it was a girl called Sophie
whose favorite thing to do was DV she
should be reading to the end of the day
Dave Bing do you know escape this
reality they bring to an extent that she
lost touch because the touch of reality
Sophie is me I'm so high I'm no leasing
no Lee yes that's a madness we began I'm
going to entry time Inc video is just
like every second person on the Internet
today and influenza I hate that word I
really do not say it with a straight
face but don't most of us want to be in
today and in coin sir I think we all
know some people do get famous overnight
right but I don't know how those lucky
fellows I'm here to tell my story and
mine took 26 years for as long as I can
remember I did not have a lot of friends
now reasons could mean many but most of
it because I was a shy introverted
insecure mess to go I have imaginary
friends now before you jump the gun
I did not see dead people that's not
what I was talking to my imaginary
friends were things I remember naming
every single product in my three by two
feet washroom as a child from toothpaste
to toilet cleaning brush and we did not
discriminate we touched the toilet
cleaning brush a lot okay so everybody
was my friends and
cutting me being a rebellious teenager
now it's even unknown rebellious
teenager Yahtzee
is it even a things do they exist
probably the parallel universe video
what did I ever fall where my mother
wanted me to wear traditional Indian
clothing housing six manga because she
thought I'm turning into a grownup you
know a grown woman but to me nothing
really was going as such except for
myself it fit so I said no thank you
this time I had a boyfriend who Daniel
met our very own hi author oh my god my
love for him with more real than a lot
of people like in social media she
seriously I would come back from school
and cry my eyes out because I couldn't
wait to marry him
CEOs of - it's still today my longest
relationship but I you watching me every
day and so I switched my mind just like
my mom's which is a good kid I always
made sure my bouquet I made sure I
participated in everything that I could
have but I always came back really
lonely person that I was I think we all
at some point in our lives I think
probably some of you still cry yourself
to sleep I did that a lot still do but
our friends I also try loving watching
down it's fall you know those videos and
that's beautiful
so I deep down I always knew I have to
be famous though how I don't know what
did I want to be no idea but the most of
it I wanted to become a singer
well if I start singing here today
forgive me
people who see
love you so I did what everybody else
does I changed my parents so I think you
didn't the bustling big city that it was
and I had to leave all my imaginary
friends my boyfriend's anything behind
all the Daily Mail but listen he taught
me a lot of things it taught me the ways
of life being skinny shames rose to more
than 100 times a day but forget body
shaming I was actually once shameful
mean - nice
why because I leave some people in my
class so nice countenance which is a
problem I have and I was told to stop
doing that because they found it weird
that's how sad the world is silly even a
compliment in feel like an attache but
then I sign for the two months that it
lasted told you I was near when only I
mean if someone could talk to me
a 38 kilogram world of loneliness 24/7
for two months it was love in my eyes it
was a long-distance relationship and
neither was there FaceTime you know on
the forty eight megapixel cameras so
when he decided to come see me I was
ecstatic I was so happy the best genes
the best theories of my life I likened
and it ended so did the relationship
right there the love of my life left me
without any reason he stopped talking to
me right the moment when he left for the
airport without a reason without
question without an answer without
talking assign anything he didn't leave
me with a lot of self-hatred obviously
five times more than what I had before I
mean a boy left me without a reason the
moment she saw me I must be hideous I
thought and so I did what any sane
person would do I hid myself for a long
long time did not come out but I had
imaginary sleep deprivation
invitee sadness its cousins they started
coming over a lot they would say what a
lot you do all sorts of things together
we would breed together watching movies
together we would eat together noisy
together we would travel together
actually I didn't travel I just what did
you do
but yeah we were inseparable all these
new friends but after over your of this
sign with my beautiful friends I made
some real life some friends that I was
miss will then this change in my life
and so these old friends the sleep
deprivation anxiety sadness its cousins
they left me for a while they still do
maybe sometimes not close anymore
I can't believe on his real life friends
you guys call them friends but I was
very insecure because my old imaginary
friends from the washroom had left me my
old imaginary boyfriends that left me my
real boyfriend left me
so something insecure that these dual
friends also might leave me not to
forget that at this point I was studying
political science honours from Delhi
University not something I hated per se
but I knew I did not want to do for the
rest of my life what did I want to do no
idea I had no idea I was I remember
throwing a question at my life
can I do fashion writing tailor man
ideas me what are you so special and it
just lifts my dream of all the glamour
that I so created with it but after
somehow I managed to finish my
bachelor's and then just like any mature
thoughtful since a courier given Indian
I decided to prepare for any but I was
like I told you I always need some
agrees with me I did not know you felt
like especially in life but so when I
was a girl I did not know what it feels
like to be clueless what it feels like
to not know enough so do not raise a
hand I was always a girl whose hand is
always up so in this coaching class and
City
they're without an answer when everybody
is just you know going all about it I
would come back home and cry but each
nine months and a stretch it happened
and my feelings came back they were like
is there something you would like to do
instead please do it and yes there was
something I really wanted to do at this
point
seep into darkness and never come back
yeah because many two euros I still
don't know what I'd want to do in my
life and then I see six year olds
rotating plates on their fingernails on
India's Got Talent what am I supposed to
be like but when I got to know of this
beautiful course in it called masters in
fashion management and envying
fashionable College so I prepared hot
and nice cold all in you're right three
the token will let me handle it pop a
magazine look it indignation going on my
head and within the first view we can
realize I hated it
none of the courses anything bad but
again I did not want to do it for the
rest of my life
every second person on Instagram who
uses passion going well I feel like
these babies come out of the women are
like manufacturing but not shopping and
he has very comfortable in the beginning
in front of the camera thanks to all the
beautiful experiences that I had growing
up but soon I was okay and my outfits no
more ridiculous every time I think I can
still put it on you sing to Shane knows
in my blog but yeah that happened and
two years pass away I shoot for my blog
I would wake up at 4:00 in the morning
shoot for the blog and then turn off for
the 9 m lecture finish my master's
somehow the good kid you know always
manages to do something about it
very got an internship with I diva in
writing and styling my professors were
really pissed because that's not when
they were teaching in college but at
this point
twenty-four-year-old I realize this is
my life not my professors not my parents
not my friends it's mine
mala Maru so I decided to go for it
and he offered me a job but the salary
was upsetting so younger I would see my
colleagues my classmates
getting place in really big companies
getting paid well and here I was with
the job in my hand it feels like I just
choose between a job that was nice and
sweet enough and a Jonathan love but
didn't pay enough
no the love is always important because
I can do something that you love you
feel powerful you'd be free and feel all
sorts of happy and I did that within one
week of joining that company as a
full-time employee we to make videos now
we did not have a video team at all no
activist producer selectors so we all
went in front of the camera and did what
we had to do we were horrible in the
meeting if you go back and watch our
videos additional
please don't but they were really bad
but soon when we got the hang of it and
then from somewhere Santa Mesa other
letter came with the idea of some
dangers to me I had no idea what a South
Delhi girl means I'm not from then the
only idea of a rich person I had was
those women I saw it in podium order
please I still cannot breathe in it's
missing so insecure you an image of this
fabulous glamorous woman always
hanging out for the nanny of health a
driver and that's where should I respond
and so Delta leader
Sunita medium is the pinnacle to tienes
Anita men shoes okay thank you
overnight my life seems but I mean as
you saw it took sign and then came nahi
mommy
[Music]
Xena mrs. Kapoor and Natasha and you see
nobody Bobby bug me Rhea I want nameless
characters that came to both with me the
team out with my new imaginary friends
so a girl like me who didn't all her
life
can make it somehow so Canyon all you
have to do is accept yourself whatever
it is that you made of your unique phony
you're crazy mind just go for it
and I'll tell you something when you
finish one struggle another one will pop
up and you have to face it again and
that's the beauty of life that's what
makes you beautiful right don't struggle
in my life is impostor syndrome
I'm good no edge and it was just you
know means basically what you feel you
feel like a liar you feel like a fraud
you feel like whatever you achieved in
life in July and and you'll be off of it
very soon you don't deserve it I feel
undeserving every time I'm asked to
hopefully talk a speech I cry I see you
know and I know how much I was pushed
for this and I took the step so that
Mister of my current struggle I must
tell you my new imaginary friend who is
join me recently in my home but I'm
dealing with it it's all good I am here
today doing this so in your face
impostor syndrome and I just want to do
one thing with you guys that I always do
when I am such I want you to open your
arms all of you and you can tell me
please why God why doesn't it go and
calm yourself because this is all you
need this you the fabulous person that
you are in your life and keep on dating
thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
you