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- [Dame] Welcome to "The Moth Podcast."
I'm your host, Dame Wilburn.
In 2022, The Moth has been celebrating
its 25th anniversary
by taking a look back at each year we've been around.
This episode we're at 2007.
In 2007, we started our open mic storySLAMs
in Detroit and Chicago.
Pretty much a storySLAM is you put your name in the hat,
you tell a story on the theme, and if your name is pulled
you got five minutes to razzle dazzle.
Detroit and Chicago have so many stories.
We've been so lucky to be able to share just some of them.
I've never been to a Chicago SLAM,
but I've heard stories from them
and I sometimes host a Detroit SLAM
and I can tell you, both of us are running neck
and neck for having great stories and great storytellers.
Our stories in today's episodes are from these two cities.
First up is Grace Topinka.
She told this at a Chicago storySLAM
where the theme of the night was Backwards.
Here's Grace, live at The Moth.
(audience clapping)
- [Grace] When I was 16,
I decided that I wanted to learn how to drive stick shift
because I thought it would make me cooler.
Also, stick shift cars tend to be cheaper.
And I had this fear that if I was ever kidnapped
and the only getaway vehicle
was like a six speed Jeep Liberty,
I should know how to drive it. (audience laughing)
And I was thinking about this,
'cause my parents had told me
that they were going to get me a car
'cause my dad and I had both started new jobs
and our schedules are just like so crazy
that they decided it kind of needed to happen.
And this was a very important time
in my life because I was 16 years old
and I wanted to prove that I was independent
and capable and having a car was like a huge part of that.
And I was a pretty confident driver.
I felt like I was a good driver and a quick learner.
So I was like, oh, a stick shift.
That should be easy.
And not to mention my dad
and the used car salesman were like,
"Oh, driving stick is easy.
The hardest part is just getting the car in first gear.
After that everything's basically the same."
I was like, "Cool, that sounds cool."
And then I learned
(audience laughing) that um, getting the car
in first gear means making the car move, at all.
So, I feel like they really downplayed
like the importance of being able to do that.
So, my dad took me to this quiet street in my neighborhood
and the first thing he taught me was how to go in reverse.
And it's not that hard to reverse in a stick shift.
It's basically the same as in a regular car.
So, I like got that really quick.
I was like, wow, I'm amazing at this.
And then he was like, "Great, now we have to go forward."
And he basically taught me it's all about the balance.
You have to release the clutch
and push down on the gas pedal,
but with perfect timing and balance.
And he seemed to think
that I could just feel it because he could just feel it.
And he had learned how to drive stick like 45 years ago.
So, 45 minutes passed and I had not felt anything.
(audience laughing)
I could not get this car to move if my life depended on it.
And the worst part was that
because I kept having to restart the car,
my dad was like, "We should turn off the AC
'cause it's not good for the AC to be turning on and off,"
which is like the most dad thing ever.
(audience laughing)
But, this was in Miami in like 87 degree weather.
So, we were sweating bullets.
I was crying.
I was so frustrating.
I was like, "Is there a return policy on a car?"
Like, "I can't drive this."
And my dad was trying to make me feel better.
And he was like,
"Grace, millions of people drive stick shift every day."
(audience laughing)
And I was like, "Great, I'm so happy for them."
(audience laughing)
He was like, "If you drive this car half a block,
I'll drive you home."
So, I put the car in reverse and reversed half a block
and he drove me home. (audience laughing)
That is basically how all of our driving lessons went.
And then we got to a point where I had a car
that I could only drive backwards.
(audience laughing) But, I had places to go
and so did my dad.
So, he very graciously switched cars with me
and this was fine, but I felt kind of bad
because my car was considerably crappier than my dad's car.
But then I felt really bad when I was driving my dad's car
and I got into a car accident.
This was my first and only car accident.
And it was a minor fender bender.
No one was hurt,
but I still had to call my dad and be like,
"Hey, you know that car that you're letting me borrow?
Do you like it with or without scratches
on the front bumper?" (audience laughing)
No, but really I felt so guilty
'cause my parents had like sacrificed a lot
to get me this car and my dad had sacrificed a lot of time
and a lot of sweat to like try to teach me how to drive it.
And I just couldn't and I felt all that confidence
and like independence I had felt just melted away
and I felt so young and stupid and in over my head.
But, I decided that if I was going to be rear-ending people,
I was going to learn how to do it in my own car.
So, my dad and I went out anytime we could.
And because of our schedules, it was usually
at like 6:00 AM before school or like nine o'clock at night.
And we would very painfully inch around my neighborhood.
And I was slowly improving
and my dad was very patient with me.
And then he realized something that changed everything.
He was like,"You're being too hesitant on the gas pedal.
That's why the car keeps stalling.
Just give it way more gas than you think you need
and the tires will squeal and it will not be smooth at all,
but the car will be moving and you'll be in first gear
and then the rest is easy."
And that worked.
I mean, I was squealing like crazy.
Like if I was going from a dead stop at a red light,
it sounded like I was in NASCAR
even though I was going like two miles an hour.
(audience laughing)
And like kids in my high school
like knew me in the parking lot
'cause I'd be like squealing out of a parking space,
like going like this. (audience laughing)
But after like a week and a half, I officially became one
of the millions of people who drive stick shift every day.
And I know in that context it doesn't sound that impressive,
but I was really, really proud of myself.
And that whole kidnapping situation,
thankfully hasn't happened. (audience laughing)
But there have been at least like two times
where it's come in handy
that I knew how to drive stick shift.
So, I guess it's been worth it.
But, now I know anytime when I face a challenge
or I have to do something that I'm really terrible at,
I remember that it can be easy to go backwards or to reverse
and like keep doing the things that you're used to doing.
But sometimes in life, if you want to move forward
you just got to slam on that gas pedal.
Thank you. (audience clapping)
- [Dame] That was Grace Topinka.
Grace is from Miami,
but has been living in Chicago for 10 years.
She is the cohost of "Two Girls, One crossword,"
a weekly trivia podcast for people who are bad at trivia.
You could find her paying late fees at the library
and on escape room leaderboards across the city.
Up next is Jeni De La O
What up, Jeni?
Jeni told this story
at a Detroit storySLAM where the theme
of the night was Neighborhoods.
Here's Jenny live at The Moth.
(audience cheering)
- [Jeni] So, I'm not originally from Michigan.
I am originally from sunny south Florida
and specifically I'm from a little city called Hialeah.
And if you're- (audience cheering)
Wow, okay.
Well, if you're from Hialeah, you're from Miami
the same way that people from Ferndale are from Detroit.
(audience laughing) So, anyway.
So, I lived in a neighborhood called Hoffman Gardens,
also known as the projects.
And the thing about growing up in Hoffman Gardens
is that your neighbors were just as likely to feed you
as they were to give you a cocotazo.
And for my monolingual friends out here,
a cocotazo is a good one upside the head
and you only need one 'cause you learn your lesson.
So, I can think of one specific incident,
like this was with my younger brother, Lionel.
I was sitting on this huge green transformer
which is located in front of my grandmother's house,
who also lives in the projects,
in what I now know would be a front yard in a normal house.
So, I'm sitting on the transformer,
I'm just watching the day go by.
And all of a sudden I look
in the house and I hear my grandmother scream.
I don't know what my brother did.
And I surely don't know what he was thinking
because he took off running
and my grandmother took off running after him.
And I know he was thinking,
this old Cuban lady with spinal stenosis,
she's not going to catch me.
And just as he gets out of reach
I hear my grandmother give the abuelita bat signal.
Abeulita is grandmother for you guys who don't know.
She calls out, "Juanita (speaking Spanish)"
Which means, Juanita, that's the neighbor, get him.
(audience laughing)
And from where I can-where I'm sitting,
I have prime seating to this unfolding drama
because I'm between these two houses
so I can look into Juanita's house
and she's got the windows open,
the salsa music's pouring out,
she's scrubbing her house down
with Mistolin,
which is like Pinesol, but on crack.
(audience laughing)
And she drops the mop.
And she takes off after my brother.
I mean, so you've got these two old Cuban ladies chasing
after my brother, pink foam rollers are flying.
Juanita's bleach blonde hair is just waving in the wind
and I'm thinking gosh, my brother is crazy.
And I'm watching him go laps just
around and Juanita doesn't know what my brother did
and she doesn't need to know.
So, they're going laps, they're going laps.
And each time my brother comes around me,
he gives me this, look, this pleading look,
like please help me.
But we both know he's screwed. (audience laughing)
And around the fifth time he comes around,
the neighborhood kids have gathered onto the transformers.
We're all watching this.
My youngest brother's sitting in front of the transformer.
Around the sixth lap, they share a telepathic moment,
these two Cuban grandmas, 'cause they don't exchange a word,
but they split up like Velociraptors in Jurassic Park.
(audience laughing) And they trap him.
And I'm not saying my youngest brother tripped him,
but he laughed really hard when Lionel fell.
And so, he's on the ground.
These two women are closing in and we scatter
because we know it's about to be a beat down.
And before you say a Cuban grandma beat down
can't be that bad,
these women start their day with Cuban coffee
which is like Red Bull and crack.
So, you don't want to be there when it goes down.
So, I take off.
And the last thing that I hear
is my little brother screaming, "No!"
I would've heard more, but I'm a little chunky
and I was running as hard as I could.
(audience laughing)
And so, that was what it was like in my neighborhood.
Cuban grandma beat downs were not an uncommon thing.
This happened all the time.
And I remember my father, his father, who's a little raisin
of a man, and my grandmother, leaving our house
to help a kid who was being jumped
by one of the new gangs that had moved into the projects.
And they went out there armed
with brooms and with baseball bats
and they rescued that little kid and doctored him up.
So, for obvious reasons
my parents wanted to get us out of the projects.
And the fact of the matter is a whole army of abuelitas
can't save you from gang violence and drugs.
And so, they did manage to get us out of the projects.
We moved into a suburban neighborhood,
and by that I mean a white neighborhood.
(audience laughing)
And there were no abuelitas.
There were no hundred eyes always watching you.
The thing about Hoffman Gardens was
you couldn't get away with anything
because you were never out of sight and out of mind.
There were always dozens of abuelitas
watching your every move.
And you never knew when the beat down was coming,
but you knew if you did something shady, it was coming.
So, we move into this suburban neighborhood
and there are no abuelitas,
there are no cocotazos.
The trees are sculptural
and not suited for cutting branches off
to beat small children when they mouth off to their elders.
So, I had a front lawn, I did not have a transformer
to watch the days go by.
And there was no gang violence,
no alarms going off in the night.
But I have to tell you, even after all these years,
I have never felt as safe
as I felt in Hoffman Gardens with all the abuelitas.
(audience cheering)
- [Dame] That was Jeni De La O.
Jeni is a poet and storyteller living in Detroit.
She is associate editor of "Frontier Poetry"
and writes "The Brown Study."
Her poetry collection, "SOFIAS,"
won the Tiran Burrell Chapbook Prize and is forthcoming
from Knight's Library in September of 2023.
That's all for this episode.
And remember, if you are ever in Detroit or Chicago
or anywhere, come to a story slam.
For more information on where they are
and when they are, check out themoth.org.
From all of us here at The Moth, have a storyworthy week.
- [Marc Sollinger] Dame Wilburn is a storyteller,
a host of "The Moth Podcast,"
Dame's "Eclectic Brain Podcast,"
and various live shows, including The Moth Mainstage.
Her storytelling began as a way
of keeping cool in the summertime
on her grandmother's porch in Macon, Georgia.
She's completed four residencies for storytellers,
including at Serenbe in Palmetto, Georgia,
and one with AIR Tres in Almond, Michigan.
Dame has also presented at the University of Iowa and UCLA.
She lives in a state of possibilities and in Michigan.
This episode of "The Moth Podcast"
was produced by Sarah Austin Jenness,
Sarah Jane Johnson, and me, Marc Sollinger.
The rest of The Moth's leadership team
includes Catherine Burns, Sarah Haberman, Jennifer Hixson,
Meg Bowles, Kate Tellers, Jennifer Birmingham,
Marina Klutse, Suzanne Rust,
Brandon Grant, Lee Ann Gullie,
Inga Glodowski, and Aldi Kaza.
All Moth stories are true
as remembered by their storytellers.
For more about our podcast,
information on pitching your own story,
and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.
"The Moth Podcast" is presented by PRX,
the Public Radio Exchange,
helping make public radio more public at prx.org.