I want to talk to you about the most ideal... first date, second date, and third date...
and beyond! I want to give you my full sequence. I want to give you everything from beginning to
end in terms of what you should do with the first date, with the second date, with the third date.
Now I understand that it's not always going to go this way. That's why I'm saying it's ideal.
Meaning, if you go off a little bit, if you go off script, in the sense, in a first date is different
than what I'm going to tell you to do, it's not the end of the world. I'm just saying what I think
is going to be the most ideal for you to do so you end up building attraction. You end up moving
through the timeline that is appropriate to spend the right amount of time but also the quality of
time with the woman. And so it lends itself to escalating and getting somewhere physical
so you guys are getting to a point and have a place to kiss, to have foreplay, maybe have sex.
There's a lot of different parts that you need to be paying attention to and I'm going to break it
all down here. The first date, the first date, I believe, needs to start with a drink. And I would
even go as far to say, an alcoholic drink. And if you don't drink alcohol, then you get a mocktail.
That way you can end up in the same place as you would if you were drinking alcohol. My point
here is you want a location that offers a nice atmosphere, a sexy atmosphere. The most ideal
first date is getting a cocktail or mocktail at a cocktail lounge. Somewhere that is nice.
As nice as it can be. I know not every town has a nice cocktail bar, but just do your best. Again,
I'm giving you the ideal. And I think that is a very key word here because I know that not
everyone can follow these steps perfectly, but strive to. That's the idea, strive to.
A nice cocktail lounge. If you live in any city with a population of over 50,000 it should not be
hard for you. If you live in lower than 50,000, maybe you just end up picking some sort of bar.
I want there to be a really sexy energy. I ended up here... I don't know if I heard
this from a guest I had on the podcast... I forgot who it was. Oh yeah, I remember,
it was a matchmaker that I interviewed. And she was talking about going somewhere (I don't know
if she said this) point being, the advice is this – going to a hotel bar is a really good place.
The atmosphere is really nice in a hotel bar, like a really nice hotel bar. If you could go
somewhere there or a cocktail lounge, if you live in Chicago, you're listening to this – The Violet
Hour. If you don't live in Chicago, or if you live in Chicago and you don't know what that is look
that up online. The Violet Hour Chicago, that's the vibe. It's a sexy vibe. It's a nice vibe,
it's a good atmosphere. All that included, you're just going to end up having a nice time.
And I want you to have a nice time. I don't want this to be a coffee date. You can do
it. I have mentioned to do that in the past. So I'm not necessarily taking that
away. If you're a busy person, you might have to do a coffee date because that's all that
your time allows. But if it does allow for you to go on a cocktail date, a nighttime date,
that's what I would recommend ideally. It's always low lighting. It just sets the mood of we're on a
date. I want you to be in that mode of we're on a date and this is not a business meeting.
That matchmaker I had on recently, maybe a couple months ago,
said that. She said she doesn't like coffee, she says it's too business-y,
and I agree and disagree. But for these purposes, I do agree, for this for this
episode. Because I want you to be doing the best that you can. But I would say that, again,
if coffee it has to be, it has to be. But yeah, I agree with that. It does offer a sexy atmosphere.
That's the first date, a cocktail or a mocktail. And I want you to make sure
that at the end you're going for a kiss. And I have really good news. I'm about to make the
first date super easy on you. Are you're ready for this one? You don't need to physically escalate.
If it happens, it happens. But you don't need to do any kind of physical escalation.
You don't need to be touching her leg or her arm or you give us some sort of seductive handshake or
you touch her hair or hands or something. You don't need to do that. If it happens,
it happens and if it lends itself to it, it does.
And if it doesn't, that's okay. You will go for a kiss at the end of the first date.
And when you do that, you will end up then out of the friend-zone and you will have then
continued to build attraction. That's what you're going to do on the first date.
Show up to a place that is sexy, you're going to go for a kiss at the end. Now for the second date.
For the second date, you're going to do a dinner. That should be the second date. I don't believe
it is sustainable if you're... at least if you're doing the Tripp Advice method,
which gets you a lot of dates from a lot of various avenues in person and online,
it is not sustainable to be going on that many dinner dates. I know that cocktails can
be expensive too but it doesn't even compare to what dinner is gonna cost because you're gonna be
doing cocktails and you're gonna be doing dinner. You're going to end up doing less second dates
automatically so it's more sustainable and therefore a dinner date is a reasonable
and date-y thing to do. It's the word of the hour here – date-y.
I want it to be date-y. I want you to be going on dates that feel like a date. And a dinner date for
a second date is great. It's a great little flow. Hey, we got drinks on the first date.
We kissed. Maybe she came back to your place.
Either she did or she didn't, doesn't matter. Second date is still a dinner out.
Now where to go to dinner? Listen, you don't have to go to a Michelin star restaurant.
I made that mistake. I didn't go to Michelin star restaurant. But I remember... this is back in
2015. I was moving from LA to Chicago and I was in between cities. I just broke up
with with a girlfriend at that time and I went on a date and it was a date with a,
I was introduced through a friend. And I thought okay why not? Let's go to a nice dinner. I went
to a pretty nice dinner, not Michelin star, but it was a nice dinner. And I remember afterward,
there was no connection. We never saw each other again. And I thought wow,
why the fuck did I do that? Why did I do that? What was I trying to do, impress her?
I don't know. It was an interesting choice. Maybe I did it because it was
a friend of a friend and I thought maybe it'll be appropriate to go to a dinner and go to a nice
dinner and make a good impression. I don't know. Never again though. Nice dinners are, and by the
way, that was for a first date. That's kind of my, I have two points here. Don't go to a dinner
on a first date. Don't go to a nice dinner on a first date. And here's my third point I guess,
don't go to a nice dinner on a second date. But also, we're not going to Applebee's or Chili's.
No offense to those establishments. I used to frequent those when I was a teenager. So let's go
not as nice as a Michelin. That's very nice. It doesn't have to be a 5 star restaurant.
And I don't want you going to some shitty chain restaurant.
Whatever you decide that is, that's a good place to go for dinner. Whatever that is to you,
whatever that means to you. If you're like what's a Michelin restaurant, what does that
mean? That's the highest rating a restaurant can get. The Oscars is to film as a Michelin star
is to a restaurant. Three stars is the best. If you ever go to a 3 star Michelin restaurant that's
one of the best restaurants in the entire world. Even something that has a one star is one of the
best restaurants in the world. Just an incredible place to go. Not every city even has them.
The point is you don't need to go super fancy but also don't cheap out. That's your second date,
boom. Your third date, you're going to invite her back to your place. This is a very easy type of
date to do in setup, especially if your first and second date went as planned. If they did, then she
should have enough trust and have built up enough investment and attraction to feel comfortable
going to your place for a third date. That's not the rule. It doesn't always happen. There
are exceptions. There are times when she might not feel comfortable going back to your place
on a third date and needs more time. If that's the case, at that point, I might do an activity date.
Something where you guys can do something fun. Right now axe throwing is very popular.
You can go bowling. You can play pool, go to an arcade. I would keep it as a nighttime activity.
Don't do some sort of hiking date. Save those for later because why, we want it to be date-y.
You're going to invite her back to your place and you're going to make dinner.
My advice to you is you gotta have one really good recipe that you like,
that's healthy, but delicious. I would almost recommend maybe like a salmon dish.
Because something like a salmon, even though it's fish, doesn't leave the breath too raunchy.
Something light or a chicken dish. A chicken or a fish dish. And if I were you today find a recipe
that looks nice, that tastes good, that's relatively healthy
and make it for yourself and learn it and nail it. And then use that to be the dinner that
you'll make when you have her back on a third date. That is my advice to you, very practical.
In fact, let's do this. Let's get some ideas going and I can share them here
on the podcast. If you find me on Instagram, DM me Tripp Advice. I respond to pretty much everybody.
DM me a recipe and I'll let you know if I think it's a good idea. And if it is, maybe I'll start
making a list of them and I'll do an episode where I put links to them and list them off
and you guys can have good recipe ideas, ones that aren't too hard to make. But even,
nothing is ever that hard to make. Maybe in the beginning, but you always end up learning it.
Don't be too scared of cooking a harder meal. If anything, nothing is ever that hard. It's maybe
just more time consuming. But the more and more you cook something, the faster you'll be at it.
And you don't need to, and I recommend you don't, do a recipe for the very first time
ever on a third date. Nor should you ever (and I learned this the hard way, by the way)
never should you ever do some sort of new recipe when you're having people over.
Learned that the hard way, definitely have failed. Made a, what was it? A tomato basil soup
and it was absolutely disgusting. I decided to make it for a whopping eight people.
Some people said they liked it. I don't believe them.
Other people I could tell they were not enjoying it. I was not enjoying it.
It was bad. I messed up the recipe. And that was my fault because I did a recipe for the
first time ever, don't do that. Know something pretty well. Anyway, that is the third date.
And then passed the third date, this is where you can start getting into activities. You can start
doing more activity dates, I just mentioned a few – bowling, axe throwing, pool, arcade. I wouldn't
go to a show yet or a concert. If it happens to be coming, if it does come up at that time,
I guess that's fine, if it's past the third date. I don't like a first or second or third date to
be a concert or a movie. Because then it doesn't allow you two to connect and what's the point of
going out and connecting with someone or being on a date? I'd move away from doing any sort of
activity date that you have to watch something from date one, two, and three. Date four, five,
six and beyond activity date. Again, ideally at night, like the ones that I mentioned. If
you end up going hiking on a fourth date, not the end of the world. Hopefully by this time you guys
have already slept together so it gives you an opportunity to grow closer and then after that it
doesn't necessarily have to be super romantic. I don't mean to sound so focused on the sex aspect,
but if you guys aren't physically escalating or having sex, then you're just a friend. And you're
spending a lot of time talking and connecting with each other and it should move to the next step.
I don't need to convince you, I'm sure that's what you want to do so make sure that that happens.
I'm going to wrap this up and sum it up very quickly. Here's a little cheat sheet. First date,
nice cocktail bar. Second date, dinner, not too fancy, not too shitty, somewhere in the middle.
Third date, your place. Fourth date and beyond, it's going to be a mixture of activities – hanging
out at your place, hanging out at her place, and maybe doing events and things of that such.