What is the difference between genderqueer and non-binary? I'm honestly so torn with this question.
I'm really torn between there isn't one and there is one. Let's discuss...
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I get asked this question a lot, my answer changes pretty much every time, um,
I mean there is differences because otherwise we wouldn't have different words
but they are quite similar. I often use them interchangeably depending on who I'm talking to, so
in queer spaces, especially trans spaces, I'm "hi, my name is Max, I'm genderqueer,
um, my pronouns are they/them". If I am talking to people who are not queer or trans,
"hi, I'm Max, I'm non-binary, my pronouns are they/them". It really depends who I'm talking to, and the reason
for that is mostly because a lot of like non-trans, non-queer, not non-binary people don't know what
genderqueer is, but they do know what non-binary is generally, um, and it's a bit easier to explain what
non-binary is, but non-binary is an umbrella term. It is a nice broad word that just means that you
are not male or female, you're not a man or a woman, not a boy or a girl. It is a very nice and broad
term so people who don't necessarily have the words and the language to describe exactly where
their gender fits along that spectrum or outside of it. Non-binary is a good word. That's why I use
the term queer for my sexuality because there isn't the language to really describe exactly
who I'm attracted to and who I am in relation to that attraction, so non-binary is just this huge
umbrella term that you can use as an identity on its own. There is no need for you to say I'm
non-binary and then have a more specific identity under that, lots of people are "just" non-binary,
that is perfectly fine. However, other people they often use non-binary as their umbrella term for
talking in straight spaces, and they have another more specific identity like me. So mine is
genderqueer, and genderqueer is a bit more complicated to explain.
It means different things to different people. One of the most common definitions of genderqueer
in terms of what differentiates it from non-binary is it is a more political identity,
it is deliberately pushing the politics of gender, and gender roles, and stereotypes, all
of those things, and I don't know how much I agree with that. That's not my personal definition of it
simply because what about non-binary is apolitical? It's very political statement
to go out there and say hi I'm non-binary you don't have a box for me on your form.
There isn't no politics about being non-binary. It's not-
it isn't like that. It is definitely still political, so just saying genderqueer is the
political version of non-binary is not accurate. The term genderqueer kind of developed from activism
circles, I don't have an exact source for who said it and when, but that is generally
the consensus of it has come from activist circles, and it is a more deliberate queering of
gender, hence the name genderqueer. So you really play with gender roles, gender stereotypes, um,
kind of aesthetics of gender and language of gender, and it's
as I said more deliberately making it queer, and playing with gender roles in a more
political sense, and that means very different things to very different people.
I think if I tried to define that I would miss somebody out, so just whatever that means to you.
So I picked genderqueer because I definitely felt like I was queering gender roles- so if
I were to get married I would be a husband. And obviously gender is so much more than these things,
these are just really superficial things, but they give you the visibility, so my pronouns being they
them- not exclusive to being genderqueer, dressing from the men's section which honestly I just wear
a lot of jeans and shirts it really isn't that much of a statement, I just like the pockets, men's
fashion I guess- it's not really a thing that I do because I don't really do fashion, I just like wearing shirts,
and just deliberately picking neutral language to talk about myself. But all of these things
non-binary people can do as well, it is honestly just down to personal preference. I've seen the
argument somewhere that non-binary is a more passive way of being outside of the gender binary
and genderqueer is a more active way of being outside of the gender binary, and you are actively
challenging people's perception of gender, but I don't know how much I agree with that because
non-binary people are also challenging people's perceptions of gender and gender roles and a gendered
society, it's just a different word. I've seen more people who identify very much as queer
head towards genderqueer and people who identify as LGBT use non-binary,
but there is still a massive overlap between that because they are very
overlapping identities. So I think my biggest takeaway from what is the difference between
genderqueer and non-binary would be non-binary is much broader it includes all kinds of identities
like agender, demi girl, demi boy, genderqueer, genderfluid, gender non-conforming sometimes,
all kinds of things. I will do another video on different non-binary identities, this isn't that
because we'll get confused, but genderqueer is very much its own identity by itself,
and you can still have other non-binary identities on top of that. You can even be a genderqueer
man or a genderqueer woman, it is a very broad label in itself, but it's not as big an umbrella
as non-binary. I've also heard the argument that non-binary = not trans, genderqueer = trans...
ignore that, because I am very much trans and genderqueer but also when I'm saying
I'm non-binary I'm still saying I'm trans, that's a whole other thing and if you're interested in
how I transition as a genderqueer person, I'll put a video up there about my genderqueer transition,
because I get asked about that a lot too. There is no one right answer to this, it really is down to
how you perceive yourself, the labels that you are comfortable with,
and how you feel about your gender, and there- you shouldn't need to justify it.
And if anyone says "oh no you're not genderqueer, you're non-binary" ignore them. The differences
are so personal, and it's really down to you, whether you identify as non-binary or genderqueer.
And if you are neither of those things and you're here just to learn the differences,
uh, sorry I couldn't be more help. Maybe ask your non-binary and genderqueer friends
about their personal reasons, but just bear in mind that that won't be
everybody's reasons. They are one and the same while being very different things.
I hope that helped, if it has don't forget to like this video, drop a comment down below
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