I like your haircut.
Thank you, and I like your beard.
Oh, thank you so much.
It-- and it looks soft, too.
Can I tell you about this look?
Yeah.
Did you guys see A Star Is Born?
Yes.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING]
It's a great film.
It is.
Bradley Cooper--
Yes, he's fantastic.
--what a babe, what--
Is he your new crush?
Well, we're old friends, so I-- you know--
yes.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
This is kind of a bit of a spoiler alert
but you know, in the film, through the course
of the story it becomes obvious he
won't be able to be in a sequel, if you know what I mean.
Yes.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
You're getting ready for it.
I'm getting ready.
Yeah.
Can you do the-- it's a gruffer voice.
[SINGING] Gimme something good.
Those are the only words I know.
That's good, well, that's all right.
Yeah.
You're--
I'm just teasing.
I like him so much and I like to think
he's at home watching this.
Yeah.
And I want him to know how much I like him--
OK.
--and love him.
We'll make sure, we'll get him this--
Let's get him on the phone and tell him to tune in.
OK.
All right.
By the way, it's his birthday in three days.
Is it?
Do you know I'm here to promote Bradley Cooper?
Did you guys know that?
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
What else can I tell you about him?
He's got a beautiful daughter now.
Yeah.
You don't wanna hear about my [INAUDIBLE] daughters,
let's talk about his.
No, let's talk about his daughters.
No, I want to talk about this-- this really is your birthday?
It is.
Is it is it horrible to have a birthday so close to Christmas
and New Year's?
I'd argue it's the worst birthday in the world.
A couple reasons, one, it's traditionally when
you go back to school as a kid.
Right.
So it's like happy birthday, go to school.
Right.
And then when you get there, you know, there was a big break
so then when they read the, like,
happy birthdays over the loudspeaker,
you're among like, 30 people who had birthdays.
Nothing special.
Now as an adult when I try to have a birthday party,
everyone has just quit eating carbs, they're not drinking,
I mean, all this goes out the window in a week.
Right, but the for the first--
But my birthday is in the first week.
Right.
I can't get more than six people to attend my birthday party
and I'm on television.
Yeah, you're popular.
And they know Kristen will be there.
Right.
Yeah.
Still can't get more than six.
That's a-- yeah, that's a plus.
Do you say Kristen will be there?
Always, I lead with that.
Yeah.
I say Kristen will be attending the birthday of Dax Shepard.
Yeah.
Like when I went to your birthday party--
Yeah.
--ten, fifteen thousand people there.
Right, yeah.
It's a great day.
Right.
Yeah.
It's later in January.
What was it again?
January 26.
Yeah.
Oh, OK.
Yeah.
Why did I think it was a summer affair?
[ALL LAUGHING]
Yeah.
So your mom's in the audience, and hi, mom, how are you?
Laura, right?
Oh, yeah, Laura Labo, the love of my life, is here.
Aw, that's--
You mean-- that's not a bit, she is in a sling.
[DAX LAUGHING]
What?
Can I tell you the best thing about this sling?
Yeah.
Is most people, you ask them what's going on
and it's something very boring, like they took a bath
and it got away from them.
My mom was chopping down a tree in the mountains in Oregon,
a Christmas tree, fell and broke her arm.
Now that's how you break an arm, everybody.
That's a good story!
[CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]
That's a great story!
Wow!
[DAX LAUGHING]
Let me ask you a question, you being here.
I know that-- because I was a giant baby when
I was born, like, I was-- but he was giant also.
What did he weigh?
8'13" and he was 22 inches and he was breech, feet first.
[AUDIENCE GASPING]
As opposed to breach, head first.
I see.
Well, no, sometimes--
I'm teasing!
I'm teasing.
[LAUGHING]
I love you so much.
And he was very late, right?
He was very late.
How late?
How many weeks?
We think almost a month.
OK.
I'm so glad you're bringing this up.
My mother tells me-- it's the sweetest part of the year,
she tells me my birth story every night before my birthday,
and it was happening last night, and Kristen was listening
to the story and also she got her first labor pain at 11:30
watching Johnny Carson, and then I was in her arms
at 1:15 AM and Kristen's like, hold on a second.
You're saying from your first labor pain
to holding the baby was an hour and 40 minutes?
She's like, yes.
And eventually I had to tell Kristen,
stop poking holes in the story.
It's lore now.
Yeah.
You know?
Like Kim Jong Un, right, he's only scored hole-in-ones
when he golfs.
Right.
That's what this story's all about.
[ELLEN LAUGHING]
We don't need the real truth.
Right.
We just need to celebrate the arrival of this--
But don't--
--freak.
--well, clear-- clearly there are some holes in the story.
I'm not gonna get into it now but it's--
Kristen's right to question.
Yeah, there's a few--
there's a few things that don't add up.
Yeah.
I don't think Kristen will be a part of next year's
telling of the birthday--
Oh, OK.
--the birthday myth.
Hi, I'm Andy.
Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel
so you can see more awesome videos,
like videos of me getting scared, or saying
embarrassing things, like "ball peen hammer,"
and also some videos of Ellen and other celebrities,
if you're into that sort of thing.
[SCREAMS]
[BLEEP]
God [BLEEP]