(upbeat music)
(club music)
- I'm Augie by the way.
- Darby
- Furby?
- Darby.
- Darby. - Yeah, I know.
I've gotten Furby before
at Starbucks a lot.
- Right? - Yeah.
- The names that I've gotten on my cups.
- I have to go play basketball with some buddies.
- Yeah, I have to, um, knit scarves
with the other army wives.
- Cool, cool cool cool.
- Yeah. - Nice.
- Do you want my number, or...
- I'm just gonna leave it all up to chance, you know.
I think I got a five-dollar bill.
You seen Serendipity?
- That's a, that's a solid reference, man.
(upbeat music)
Okay.
Bye.
Okay, seriously.
- Okay, okay.
- Like, that's enough.
- I'll leave, I'll leave.
- Okay.
- All right, I'm leaving.
See ya, Jimbo.
- [Jim] See you at work, buddy.
- [Augie] See you, Sara.
- [Sara] Bye.
- Um, I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, what just happened?
What just happened?
What just happened? - Excuse me?
- Do I have a husband now?
Is he my husband?
- I'm talking about real passion.
Who among you would die for your art?
- [Darby] Um, I would see him around campus
but it was just like nothing ever happened between us,
just classic kid (beep).
And I did the opposite of what I should have done.
I literally auditioned for "Cats"
just to be close to him.
- Do you wanna get your picture taken for the book?
- Yeah.
You wanna come be in this with me?
I don't wanna do it alone.
- I'm sure you'll be fine.
- Feeling a little self-conscious.
- Not as self-conscious as me.
My (bleep) are about to start leaking, so I'm good.
Not, no, not like as a sexy thing.
- So what did you bring to this glorious feast?
- Um...
Uh, that one?
- These yams? - Yup.
- Interesting, cause I'm pretty sure I made those.
- Really? - Yeah.
- Oh my god, we made the same dish!
- Wow. - That is crazy.
- Yeah, it is. - Identical.
No, I, um, the (bleep) store-bought ones are mine.
- Ah, oof. - Yeah.
Don't yam-shame me.
I'm already in a very vulnerable place.
- They look beautiful.
(phone beeps)
- Guess who just got a match?
- Really?
Let me see.
- Mom, what are you doing on Tinder?
- Oh, like I don't know
what you're gonna be doing on this bed.
Please.
- I'm gonna keep looking.
- Let me see.
He's cute!
He's like a less-creepy Jack Nicholson.
You should write him back.
- Oh.
No, I don't know.
Darby, look at his profile.
It says he's a Deadhead.
- Mom, you cannot be that picky
if you wanna find somebody nice.
- Well, I don't know what to say.
- Can I help?
Okay.
I gotta be honest.
I didn't think I'd be into the whole strip club thing,
but this is kinda working for me.
- I'm proud of you, Darby.
Come to the light side.
- Are straight people the dark side?
- Yeah, obviously.
- Oh, hand me the gloves.
- Yeah.
- Wow, there's only 10 of these tea cups
in the entire world.
- Geez.
- Wow.
Think of everything it's been through.
The emperors, the wars, the revolutions.
Take my picture with it.
- Yeah.
Okay.
Great.
- Hello.
- Hello again.
- Are you stalking me?
This is my stalker.
- Uh, actually, this is my table.
And you're the one who brought the leaky breasts.
- They're legitimately just leaking milk for my child.
I am, yeah, will actually go to him now,
cause I was trying to poison it with alcohol,
but that's not gonna happen.
- How you doing?
- [Mallory] Good, how are you?
- I'm good, yeah, I'm Grant.
- I'm Mallory. - Hi, Teryn.
- Nice to meet you.
- Grant, I would like to say that I misjudged you.
- [Grant] Oh yeah?
- I would really like to be your friend.
- Your just using me for my flask.
- Very much so, yeah.
- You guys want some?
- Yes. - We'd also like to use you.
- Yeah, I had a feeling this was gonna be a dry wedding.
The only thing worse than going to a wedding alone
is going to a dry wedding alone.
- Mm, have you noticed
you talk about being alone a lot.
Everything all right over there?
- Yeah, I think I'm gonna need a little bit more
of that liquor before we get into my existential dread.
- By all means, then.
Get dark.