-Thank you, thank you, thank you. Wow.
I'm excited. I am very excited to be here.
Been traveling a lot lately. The year's been going great.
Seeing these small towns now, though, type of places
where if you get hungry after dark,
you better know how to hunt.
[ Laughter ]
There's been a lot of learning experiences, you know?
You ever heard the saying, "If you can make it in New York,
you can make it anywhere"? [ Audience cheering ]
That's a lie. It's not true.
The second I left the city,
I seen like five places I knew I couldn't make it.
I was just standing on the highway like, "Not that one.
Not that one. I'm definitely gon' die there."
[ Laughter ]
It's been a lot.
You should make it in New York.
City's made for you to do so.
Got dollar pizza.
The streets are numbered,
in order. [ Laughter ]
You got $4 and a [bleep] -- and a high school education,
you good. [ Laughter ]
You made it.
There's no worries.
I went to Missouri.
-Whoo! -Learned a lot.
It should be, "If you can make it in Missouri."
[ Laughter ]
Fam, you've earned that.
That's hard work.
How you gon' sell your mix tape if nobody outside?
There is no one outside.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Missouri was a learning experience, man.
That was the first time I seen a vulture in person.
[ Laughter ]
That's a pivotal moment.
Vultures are a TV bird, you know?
You supposed to only see that on television.
I casually saw one in my regular life, just at a gas station.
I didn't know what to do. I just waved at it.
I'm a New Yorker. I don't do it right.
New Yorkers don't wave. I'm just like under-handed.
"Hey, buddy.
I don't want any trouble, man."
But, honest,
vultures are negative. They're negative birds.
The entire time they looking at you,
they just like, "Yo, I hope you die, bro.
Ooh, I can't wait."
Worst thing New York got is some pigeons.
You can find videos of them stepping aside politely
to let you on the train.
They got their little wings back.
"What's up, brother? I understand.
It's alright."
It's easy. It's not that bad.
Took a trip upstate New York.
-Whoo! -Six hours.
Six hours on this train.
I learned, though, if you travel a minimum of two hours
in any direction out the city, it turns into Alabama quickly.
[ Laughter ]
So fast.
[ Laughter ]
I'm used to taking the trains.
I grew up in New York, always took a train.
You know, you take the trains out here,
you probably got robbed for your phone or something,
but you made your destination.
You can just walk.
Took the train upstate New York,
and they just let me out at a forest.
[ Light laughter ]
Just a forest, bro.
I don't have forest experience.
I don't know about foliage. Nothing.
All my skills are made for New York City.
I can hop a turnstile. I can't find North.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
I know who I am, you understand?
You know what I'm saying? I can spot bad deli meat a mile away,
wouldn't even ruin me.
You pull a knife on me, I'll fight you.
If you threw a raccoon my way, though, alright.
Okay. Fighting dirty now.
Use a knife like a gentleman. Come on, now.
[ Laughter ]
It was terrible walking through that forest.
I didn't know anything about it. No forest experience.
I don't know what trees not to touch.
I don't know what's poison.
My only reference of poison is Bell Biv DeVoe.
I'm gonna die out there.
I know better.
I was scared. I was walking through that forest.
I checked my phone.
My phone was on 23%.
My heart sank.
'Cause I knew right then and there, if my phone die,
this is where I live now.
[ Laughter ]
I do not possess the skills to find my way home using nature.
That is not gon' happen.
Not gon' be able to look at the forest
and know where trees grow moss. Nothing. Done.
I called my boy up. I needed some help.
Worst advice ever.
I'm like, "Yo, bro, I'm scared. I don't know what to do."
He's like, "You scared, bro?"
You from New York. How you scared of a forest?"
"You scared of a --" Yes.
What you expect me to do? Run into a bear
and be like, "Wait, bro! I'm from Brooklyn, son!
None of that roar! None of that, not with me!
Nah." [ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you guys. Thank you.
♪♪
-Thanks, man! You were great! You look great.
Andre D Thompson!
"Between Spots" is available on Spotify.