5 steps to keep peace in your relationship, and Build a Long Lasting happy Relationship.
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No.1, Awareness.
Start by developing more awareness of your own role in your relationship.
When a difference arises, try becoming an observer of your thoughts, your emotions,
your needs, and your ego.
One way to develop this life skill, is to ask yourself questions like:
What is it I really want at this moment?
Is what I want coming from my heart or my ego?
Will getting what I want help our relationship, or hurt it?
Will getting what I want strengthen our relationship, or weaken it?
If I keep insisting, what will that do to the peace of our relationship?
No.2, Take A Moment For Yourself.
If you’ve had a bad day, or your partner has snapped at you, take a minute alone to
compose yourself before you speak to them.
If you’re feeling stressed and high-strung, you might flip and overreact when you speak
to them.
The most important thing, is to make sure that you are okay and feeling better.
Different things, calm different people down; maybe a gym session works for you, or eating
a bar of chocolate.
If you’ve spent a minute alone and you still feel terrible, tell your partner when you
see them.
Explain calmly that you’ve had a difficult day, and you don’t want to take your negativity
out on them.
Then you can keep conversation to a minimum, or you can chill somewhere else, until your
mood has lifted.
When you do speak to your partner, you will be feeling less pessimistic and negative,
so the conversation is less likely to be argumentative.
No.3, Figure out how to calm yourself down.
If you need to take a walk, scream into a pillow, or punch the couch to let off some
steam, do it where your partner can't see, and then approach them once you're not blocked
by an angry fog.
No.4, Maintain boundaries.
When people get close, boundaries can get fuzzy.
In a relationship without boundaries, you let the other person manipulate you, into
doing things you don’t want to do.
You act out of guilt, instead of honoring your needs.
You let someone offend you without telling them how you feel about it.
The best way to ensure people treat you how you want to be treated, is to teach them.
That means you have to love and respect yourself enough, to do that: to acknowledge what you
need, and speak up.
The only way to truly have loving, peaceful relationships is to start with a loving, peaceful
relationship with yourself.
No.5, Apologize and Accept Apologies.
The path to forgiveness is easier to find, when there is a sincere apology pointing the
way.
If you blew it, say I’m sorry.
Don’t let your pride get in the way.
A genuine, heartfelt apology, can go a long way toward keeping peace in your relationship.
Life is short and an apology costs you nothing.
So, be willing to do the right thing for your relationship, instead of propping up your
ego.
If your partner offers you a sincere apology after a fight, try to accept their apology.
It can be difficult if you are still angry at them, but focus on the fact that their
apology is genuine.
If you don’t accept their apology they will feel upset, and they might start to feel frustrated
and angry again.
Realize that they are reaching out to you to fix the problem.
They regret upsetting you, and they are genuinely sorry for the things that they said.
Don’t throw this back in their face, as apologizing is difficult for many people,
and it may put them off apologizing in the future.
Forgiveness isn’t a gift, that you can withhold from someone for as long as you like, and
if you do, they may start to think that you are playing with their feelings.