Hey, what's going on my friends welcome to my youtube channel, my name is Victor and today I'm gonna talk about
narcissists I've never spoken about this topic this personality archetype on my youtube channel because frankly I don't like
The label I find it to be very limiting. I think we're all
Badass eternal spirits doing our best in this world
however
with all that said a
Lot of us do attract during our spiritual awakening
Narcissistic personality types and sometimes we can feel like we're stuck with them
And when we know it's a toxic relationship
We know it's all off and yet we find ourselves unable to break away and we find ourselves wondering why
Why have I attracted this relationship into my life? What am I not giving what do I have to do to move on etc?
And I been through this I've had straight-up hardcore
narcissistic personality types, I've been embedded with
Temporarily in my lifetime and what I've learned from them is a lot and that's why they're here
They're here. They're there a great teacher. It's like the school of hard knocks
Accelerated learning when you're involved with a narcissist
So if you find yourself going through a relationship or you have narcissistic people in your life right now driving you nuts
You know, it's because you're a very strong and kind of an ambitious learner will say because you've chosen a challenge
again, a very challenging way to learn but you're gonna learn a lot about yourself about life about love about compassion in a
very very very accelerated way with that said
Once you learn all that you don't need to have them in your life. I've gotten to a point where I don't have any
narcissistic personality people in my life
Whatsoever. But I'm so grateful and thank for the ones that I did have in my life because again,
They shared with me state. They taught me so many valuable and usable life lessons
so this video goes out to those of you who you find yourself learning those hard lessons right now with the help of a
Narcissistic type of personality and I'm gonna share with you what you can do to deal with them
grow and learn from them and then ultimately
transcend them
permanently number one the main thing they came to teach and also the key to
freedom
is self love
No one's perfect at self love and even though I don't have narcissistic people in my life doesn't mean I'm some kind of pro at
self love but I realized
The reason I was putting up with narcissistic personality types in the first place was a lack of self love
because otherwise
why would I subject myself to to pain and confusion and manipulation and stress and
and an anguish
Time and time and time again. I
Had a person I'm not going to name their name because they might watch my channel. I want them to feel bad
I don't think he does but he was a someone I used to grow marijuana with and we were
It was actually before it was legal my friend knew how to grow marijuana and he said hey, let's go over to your house
I'll do all the work. I'll show you what to do and we'll split everything so it sound like a great idea
but when I came down to it this person never showed up, they never did any of the work and it was always just
lies after lies after lies and excuse after excuse and I would find myself so
Frustrated because I just felt so victimized like man. This dude keeps screwing me over
so blatantly it always has this like
brilliant excuse which I know is BS and I would I would like came to a point where it was like
Victor
When is enough gonna be enough?
Why do you continue to?
Go through these cycles over and over and over again and lie to yourself
Hoping things are gonna change when you know, they are not
Well, it was this because I felt I couldn't do any better
I didn't think I could grow the mayor on my own
I didn't think I was good enough or smart enough or I didn't think ideal to learn. I
Had this lack of self-confidence and this lack of self-love which allowed me to put up but which made it temporarily
Reasonable for me to put up with all this pain and suffering but eventually what happened
Is I learned how to do this on my own
And I developed enough sort of self-efficacy and confident and self-love where I I didn't know law
I no longer needed this person. I
Loved myself too much to put up with it. And even though it was uncomfortable to sever that tie
It had to be done because I came to a point of self-love where I simply refused to feel that abuse any
longer
So a way to expedite this is all kind of happen for me quite naturally would be to ask yourself
Why don't you feel you deserve better? That's a very?
hard question to ask and on the surface the mindlessly, well, I do deserve better, but
You got to go past that you got to go deep
Deep into that little wounded inner child that keeps nudging your with you soup with your subconscious
programming to continue to play out these cycles even though on all
The writings on the wall, and it makes no logical sense
get to the root get to the bottom of that lack of self-love and find out why you're putting up with it and once you
Learn that not only will you?
naturally
Elevate yourself out of that sick relationship, but you will have the self-love you'll feel amazing
You'll be a new person and that group that growth of your self-love is gonna transform almost every adult
areas of your life tour at the end you'll be thanking that person for showing you where
You were lacking the self-love number two
and more of a practical hack is
To just straight up set some boundaries and understand this and I got this from a book called the empath
Survival Guide, I believe by some some doctor. She said no is a complete sentence
Why is it so hard to say no, why is it so hard to set boundaries and to stand up for ourselves? I
Don't know what it is, right?
So here's what I've learned little a little like little hat little word of the wise I had to learn to say no
When I first had my youtube channel
I would answer each and every comment I would respond at length to each and every email
because I felt like obligated to
But it got to a point
Where I could not keep up with the numbers and now where I'm at
I get people reaching out all the time with these propositions and these business opportunities and Victor
I want you to do this did your contour show up but to do this this dis assist and I realized if I just kept
Saying yes to everything
Which I did in the beginning I was burnt out I was exhausted and I would do that
I would put up with the being burnt out the exhaustion the frustration the PERT that the negative energy and so forth
Because that in my temporarely was easier than just straight up saying no and putting up with the uncomfortable
Pause when you tell someone no and you tell someone no that you know is not gonna like you saying
No, they're not used to you saying no, they're gonna maybe put up a fight. I
have waited that and
Dug myself into a ground into the ground
But I got to a point that just I had to I had to make a change and what I realized
Is this the whole point of this is saying no starting boundaries gets easier. The first time is really uncomfortable
Really hard. I don't think they want to it's gonna be like that but eventually yeah
not
To the point where you almost have to be
Careful with saying it. So assertively that you don't give people the wrong impression that you don't care. It becomes effortless to say
No
Not because you're cruel not because you're blocking out people's vibes or anything is because you just get to a certain level of self loved
where you know your Worth and
Saying no becomes natural
And there also grows within you and natural detachment from the outcome
Sometimes when I say no to people they're like, okay cool
Sometimes it's not like that and I have to sort of I can be aware of that. They're not happy with Victor saying no
But I've just from practicing this practicing when I'm preaching here. I can type my own direct experience
It gets really easy just to say okay. I'm sorry. You're feeling that way
I'm sorry you're upset
but I know I have my reasons for saying no and I'm gonna stick to my guns just in my mind here, right and
consequently
It's a lot of the stress we have from narcissistic people is because we allow them
To influence us they allow them to suck us in to their drama
Instead of just setting that boundary which again and I'll give an exact
example for my beautiful wife who dealt with the
Narcissistic personality her her mom. I don't think she'll watch this video
and she was working through therapy at that time my wife and
And and she learned all these like techniques basically
And one day she was at her house - she was like 18 or so living with her mom
Her mom was going off and her just like she always does in her ways and my wife had to just straight up do this
she said
stop like this just put her hand up in front of her face and said stop and
Said I will not allow you allow you to treat me this way. This is about you not about me. I'm going for a walk
Was that hard for patty the first time probably yes
but you know what comes from that first uncomfortable stop or no is a feeling of
Liberation and empowerment that can't be put into words that makes the whole dramatic
chaotic experience
100% worth it yet another
Blessing these narcissists can bestow upon you is the awareness and the discovery of who you are and how powerful you are
But you're gonna have to show yourself initially. They're gonna push you up against the wall until you finally
do but when you do
Watch out because you got it
It's like you got a new pair of shoes you be
Struttin strolling through life like a brand new person with a whole new swagger and it's totally worth it
number three another sort of tip from the trenches is to focus on the facts a
Lot of what dupes us in to the continuation and perpetuation of these?
narcissistic unbalance of sometimes co-dependent relationships
is
Us focusing not on the facts, but on the potential we see in the person
sometimes the narcissist has this ability to really
Reveal their potential you see their heart. They're a good person. Their soul is pure and this is who they could be
so meanwhile
I'm gonna wait out the 99% of the other times when they're treat me like crap because I hope that one day
This will sort of take precedence in their personality
But if we're stepping back and we're looking at it sort of mathematically
But say well the odds of that are quite slim, they're rarely like that. They rarely in fact never
Consistently exhibit those qualities that I know deep down
They possess most the time of putting up with their insanity
And I'm it's affecting my health and my happiness and everything
So focus on the facts focus on what you see focus on what's actually happening not what you hope
Might happen and again, I'm guilty of this that was exact same thing for me with my friend
I would teach sometimes has really surprised me with his
Selflessness and his the way he was just so brilliant and amazing but most of time
It wasn't like that number four. We're gonna go deep because this video isn't just about putting up with narcissus
It's about completely freeing yourself from them even
psychologically
Maybe we said no, maybe you set your boundaries and they're gone
But the resentment is still there the the monkey mine ruining but all the times you are wrong all
stuff that they put you through
That's still an attachment
so the key to that the key to truly freeing yourself in liberating yourself from ever having to do that ever again is
Understanding and
compassion
understanding and compassion
My father was sometimes a difficult person to be around talk about challenging father
But you know what when he was 18 years old, he was drafted off to Vietnam
He watched his friends Lee blown up right in front of him. He had to probably kill people at 18 years old
I had no control over that
so
He was affected
He wasn't like the real hairy crazy-ass battles - it doesn't even talk about it. So I
can understand
why he turned out the way he did and I can even be in fact more impressed with him the fact that he doesn't
bat in spite of going through that
He did a pretty good job
But there were things about him that I might have been resentful had I not really step back and said why did he turn out?
that way
There's always an explanation my friend. His father was a
really horribly abusive
Violent alcoholic and I could only imagine how I would be if I had to grow up in that kind of environment
So my friend he had his ways and yeah
I'm not gonna do business with him or anything anymore aback wouldn't even talk really anymore. Even though I still love him
changing aside
I
don't resent him and I genuinely
love him and I always will wish the best for him and I don't judge him at all because I I know
How he turned out that way so understanding taking the time
In fact, there's this book
Now, where is it this one right here how to win friends and influence people really solid book and one of the main things that
Stuck me from this book is seek to understand
Not to be understood
when we really take the time to place ourselves and another shoes and
then we can it really just starts to make sense why they are the way they are and that understanding gives way to
the release of the resentment and
On the self the genuine love and compassion for that person who
Used to drive you crazy number five going further and deeper has dropped the label in my opinion
Altogether, I know
how
Egoic and
Manipulative and unpleasant certain people are on the planet the bad people, right?
but in truth
They're more that meets the eye they're not only that we are all playing characters
If you look at this whole scenario from a soul level
we are all equals and there's benefits to
Living a life as a narcissist. It's probably many very unique soul lessons that that soul will learn from doing that
And guess what?
There's even maybe even more benefit to being people who are fortunate enough to have those narcissists in their lives. I
Learned so much for the narcissistic people in my life. I'm thankful
They chose that life that must be a miss of a not a very fun life for a person is living in denial
Living this lie and upsetting people constantly that must be a challenging lifetime
If anything I say, you know what hats off to the narcissist that's a very courageous soul
The you know personality template to embody for a fifty to a hundred years. Dang. I don't know if I can do it
We are all more than
We appear to be
Including narcissists and this higher person. This higher perspective really can help you
transcend any of that resentment
from them and I promise you when you learn from them and when you truly learn to love them and
Wish them well
You sever yourself
From ever needing to experience that again and you will be a bigger
stronger
More loving person as a result
So my friend that's my take on the whole narcissists thing take it or leave it. It's all I have to share about it
I wish you all nothing but the best
I love you all and thank you for everything all the likes the comment that shares the emails and messages etc
It's beautiful. If you're brand new to my channel, I do offer everyone a free guided meditation that's designed to help you online
More so consciously with your higher-self
So that you can get the downloads and do the channeling and I really bring more of yourself to the table in
Your life it's a channeled
Guided meditation I made myself and it's a hundred percent free. Check it out down below if you'd like
It's at the top of the description box or at the very top comment as usually pinned as well
Have an amazing day. I'll talk to you all next time
namaste