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Hi, welcome to "Full Frontal."
I'm Samantha Bee.
And if you're like me, you're just a few weeks away
from having fewer human rights--
fun!
According to a draft Supreme Court majority opinion obtained
by Politico, a decision has been made
to overturn the landmark Roe v. Wade ruling.
In the leaked document, Justice Samuel Alito
writes, in part, "Roe was egregiously
wrong from the start."
That's right, baby, the Supreme Court is going
to force you to have that baby.
Side note, when this draft opinion was leaked on May 2,
our show was actually on hiatus--
a hiatus that started on May 2, just
a beautiful day to kick back, enjoy the sun,
and burn our throats to dust with endless screaming.
While the opinion isn't official yet,
it's basically a trailer for how [BLEEP] horrible life is
to become for a lot of people.
In a nutshell, if unchanged, the opinion
would go against 50 years of precedent
by allowing each state to decide whether to restrict
or ban abortion.
The leaked opinion is infuriating,
not just because it strips away reproductive rights.
Justice Alito's opinion cites a shithead
from the 17th goddamn century who defended marital rape
and had women executed for witchcraft,
or as more than half of the Supreme Court
calls that, not far enough.
And that's not even the oldest weird shit Alito cites.
His ass went back to abortion law in the 13th century.
Now, look, I'm not a legal expert,
though I did play one in a never-made pilot for Freeform.
But I think we can limit precedents that control
human bodies to after the same century
that Genghis Khan did his thing.
Alito's opinion makes the argument
that abortion isn't protected because it's not
referenced in the Constitution.
But you know what else isn't mentioned in the Constitution?
Cars or hamburgers or [BLEEP] Brazzers,
which-- thank god because that's the only way I've got
left to relax.
I like it when they kiss, even if they are
stepfather and stepdaughter.
I just love love.
A majority of Americans believe the Supreme Court should uphold
Roe, so it's no surprise that protesters have flocked to both
the Supreme Court and the homes of the justices
destroying our rights.
And even less surprisingly, it took no time
at all for conservatives to recast
themselves as the real victims.
Trying to scare federal judges into ruling a certain way--
it is an attempt to replace the rule
of law with the rule of mobs.
The issue of doxing and protesting--
I call it intimidation and harassment--
of Supreme Court justices.
I think it is a form of terrorism.
It is an open effort to intimidate
Supreme Court justices.
It's illegal, it's improper.
Find a public place.
Get a permit.
Do it lawfully, and--
I mean, that's the way political discourse
or disagreement should be handled, with civility.
Pardon me, but in my civilest way possible,
may I humbly request that you [BLEEP] the [BLEEP] off?
How dare Republicans demand civility as they
strip away our civil rights?
When Susan Collins gets a sidewalk full of bubble letter
chalk, she is not the victim.
When Amy Coney Barrett's tacky-ass McMansion
is visited by a pack of roaming handmaids,
she is not the victim.
The real victims in this atrocity of a court decision
will be the people who live in the more
than 20 states that would ban abortion
after Roe is overturned.
It is the person who, if certain lawmakers had their way,
could be charged with homicide for having a procedure that
has been constitutionally protected
for nearly half a century.
It's a woman in Texas with an ectopic pregnancy who could die
because her doctor and pharmacist
are afraid to give her the treatment she
needs to save her life.
It's someone in Arizona, who was raped and is now forced
to carry a pregnancy that will punish and traumatize
them just for being a victim.
It's people of color who will depressingly bear the greatest
brunt of reproductive decisions made by men who, as best I can
tell, believe women lay eggs.
It is the more than 30 million people across the country who
will be forbidden to make choices about their own bodies
because our broken, corrupt Supreme Court cares more
about a cluster of cells than it does
about the actual people who live and breathe
and exist in our country.
These people are not pro-life.
Justice Alito's draft opinion may rant and rave for 98 pages.
But when it comes to kids after they're born,
it's really down to just three words.
And of course, we know abortion rates won't drop.
The only difference is that people,
especially people of color, especially people
living in poverty, will die.
As of right now, it is unlikely justices
will change their vote.
And that feels hopeless, especially considering the fact
that our bodies are going to be officially
worth less than the opinion of a guy
from the 1600s with a [BLEEP] soul patch.
I know being told to vote blue no matter who is soul-crushing,
especially since one of those blue
joined Republicans to kill the bill
protecting reproductive rights.
It sucks an ass so big, it would kill Sir Mix-a-Lot.
But unfortunately, we cannot give up.
We've got to protect people's access to abortion pills.
We've got to support abortion funds.
And we've got to keep pressuring the government officials who
work for us to protect rights that we fought for
and that again, the majority of Americans [BLEEP] want.
Because if they're taking away our right to choose,
fighting is the only choice we've got left.
We'll be right back.
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