In my sex therapy sessions I speak to a lot of women who struggle to orgasm.
In fact, this is one of the main complaints that I hear from the ladies. And some of them
struggle to orgasm in all situations, while others can climax alone but can't quite get
there with their partner. So today, I'm going to share with you exactly what I tell them.
My name is Helena Nista and I make videos that help you have the best sex of your life.
And today, we're uncovering all the truths and most helpful techniques and practices to make
yourself orgasm as a woman. So yes, this video is directed at women who want to learn to orgasm
more easily and frequently. And if you're a man watching this, these ideas and tips will help you
become a better lover to her, since you'll know how to best support her in reaching the sweet,
sweet climax during sex. However, if you're a man who struggles to reach orgasm yourself,
then you should definitely watch this video next. The question that many women ask me is whether
every woman is capable of getting there, to the big O. And the answer is yes, absolutely! So even
if you never had an orgasm before doesn't mean that you cannot have one in the future. You might
just need to address what's currently blocking you from it. There are many different reasons
why women might struggle to come. But none of these reasons cannot be overcome. Many women
simply were never taught about their own pleasure so they're unable to claim it. Others were brought
up with a lot of guilt, shame or inhibitions around sexuality, which might be stopping
them from fully accessing their own eroticism. Others still might have experienced sexual trauma
through rape or abuse, through porn inspired, mechanical, aggressive pounding by their lover
or a similar situation. Many women develop a belief that sex is about a men's pleasure
so that's their focus, instead of also attending to their own satisfaction. These and many other
reasons can become a barrier between you and your own orgasmic power. So it is important to address
them. Some women I speak to seem uncertain whether they've ever had an orgasm. So they
want to know what it feels like. So here we go - what it actually feels like to have an orgasm?
How to describe the indescribable?... As you're approaching it, it feels like
intense energy in your body, mainly concentrated in your genitals but also spreading to other
parts. To me personally it also feels hot, a hot, delicious, incredibly pleasurable energy.
And when that energy reaches its orgasmic peak, your pelvic floor muscles start to contract.
These muscle contractions in your genital area feel really amazing. At that point, there are
also other physical changes in your body: your breath becomes faster, your heartbeat intensifies,
different muscle groups are tensing up and there might be flushing on your face, chest, etc. And
after a few seconds or minutes, depending on how intense the orgasm is, everything starts to return
back to normal. The pelvic floor contractions stop, the breath and heartbeat begin to normalize,
etc. You're still on a sort of pink, blissful, orgasmic cloud but it's starting to descend back
to earth. The best way to start training your body to orgasm more easily is through self-touch. This
is because it's much easier to simply relax and play with your body when you're alone, without the
pressure of needing to climax when your partner is around. When you don't have to deal with anybody
else's expectations about your sexual experience, it's much easier to experiment, to take your time,
to explore. Because this is exactly what I'd like you to do during your solo sex experiences. So
the first step is to get out of your head and into your body. This means letting go of all
your mental hang ups, worries and doubts about your body's ability to climax. Instead, simply
experience your body as a sensual being that it is. Don't put any pressure on yourself that
you have to get there. Instead, explore your own pleasure. Climax happens when we build up enough
pleasure and arousal in our bodies that it can then take us over the edge of orgasm. So you need
to become very familiar with your own pleasure zones and with anything that stimulates arousal
for you. So take some nice relaxed breaths, notice any and all sensations in your body and
start to play. Touch, stroke and caress your skin for pleasure. There's no other goal here,
just pleasure. Keep noticing what you like and how you can make that touch even better. Get to
know your body, discover what it really likes and enjoys. Invest in a good lube and a vibrator. For
a woman a lube is a must! Your delicate genital area is just way too sensitive for dry touch.
And if you don't already have a vibrator, make sure to get one as soon as possible. Here, you'll
find a very helpful video on how to play with your sex toys. If you'd like play with fantasy,
imagine sexy, hot scenarios where your lover or lovers are doing naughty, hot, pleasurable things
to you. Do your best to immerse yourself in the experience, to fully get into your pleasure. The
more you can do that, the closer you will be to deep, amazing and effortless orgasms. Okay,
let's chat about orgasming with a partner because this can be a completely different
cup of tea for many women. First of all, many women rely heavily on clitoral stimulation
when they're making themselves come alone. But when they get together with their lover, they
feel like they need to be able to reach climax from penetration. Do you see the problem here??
Huge majority of women require at least some clitoral stimulation to get there so if you're
trying to come only from him thrusting inside of you, then you'll be likely very disappointed
with your body. So let go of the idea that you're meant to come from penetration alone
and make sure to ask for or give yourself plenty of clitoral stimulation. When you're together,
also make sure to play with different positions that allow for the stimulation of the clit. Make
sure that his pubic bone is pressing against yours or get on top of him or into a doggy and reach for
your clit with your hand, with a vibrator or ask him to stroke you. If it helps you, add a lube to
this scenario. I personally can't imagine playing with my lover without having lube nearby. It just
can be so uncomfortable when he's stroking me with a dry hand. And please, please, don't be afraid
to bring a vibrator into the bedroom. And if your partner is threatened by your sex toy, explain to
him that it would never be able to replace him or her, and that instead, it's a great way to enhance
your experience together. A lot of women love their nipples and breasts being stimulated in
order to get more aroused more quickly. So bear that in mind! And as a general rule, make sure
to ask for any kind of touch that your body loves and enjoys. If you've done your solo sex homework
at this stage, you'll know exactly what your body wants. So open your mouth and ask for it. Also,
remember that most women take a lot more time to get aroused than men do. Just because he's hard
and ready, doesn't mean that you should be too. Your system is different and it's likely that
you'll need more time. You're not defective so don't try to rush it. There's nothing wrong with
you if you need more time than he does. Use that knowledge to your advantage and make sure that
you get from him plenty of arousing touch before and during penetration. And if you can orgasm but
your orgasms don't seem terribly pleasurable or satisfying, make sure to try edging. Edging is a
wonderful process of taking your body multiple times to the edge of orgasm before you finally
allow yourself to climax. And I've described this process in much more detail in this video here.
And finally, embrace sexual education. We're not born great lovers and we all need to learn what it
takes to have amazing, mind-blowing, toe-curling orgasms. And if you'd like some help with that,
I have a hugely popular online course for women: Orgasmic Empowerment. I have filled this program
with my most effective, powerful and blissful tools and techniques. Thousands of women have
already enrolled and claimed the power of their own orgasmic potential. And I have received from
them countless positive testimonials. So if it's time to fully activate your own orgasmic power,
make sure to enrol today. You'll find the link to the course with a very special discount code
in the description below. Thank you so much for watching! If this video was helpful, please
make sure to leave me a 'Like' and a comment below. Please also consider buying me a coffee
with a $3 donation through my Patreon account. I create high quality educational videos every week
and I make them available for free to people all over the world. And it means the world to
me whenever my viewers decide to support me with a small donation. Thank you so much for watching,
for liking, for commenting, for subscribing! Have a fantastic day and I'll see you next week on this
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