Martina: It's time for...
Simon & Martina: FOOD ADVENTURE PROGRAM FOR AWESOME PEOPLE!
S: The 팥빙수/patbingsu edition.
[FAPFAP intro music]
M: Okay, so it is REALLY hot in Korea right now. It's very windy and balmy and breezy.
S: We're lucky that the wind is here right now, 'cause otherwise we're just melting. M: Yeah.
S: We spend most of our days hiding indoors in front of airconditioners
and not actually seeing the outside world because it is so nasty gross.
M: Well, we go to coffee shops and we (s)crunch up in the corner and we look outside the glass
and we point outside and we're like, "What is that out there?"
S: Evil. M: Mother Nature.
So what can we do when we're, like, super overheated and exhausted and we need something refreshing to eat in Korea?
[Jazz music] M: Have you ever heard of 팥빙수/patbingsu?
S: Well you might've because a long time ago we did a video of it in one of our WANKs.
There, we went to a 'love cafe' and had some patbingsu there except that was not very good patbingsu.
M: There are really so many different levels, and the kind we had was, like, the 'basic' level.
S: There are so many other levels of it, that we wanted to show you some of the best kind today. M: Gourmet, if you will.
S: Gourmet-bingsu. M: Yes. So what they're going to do is they're gonna take the first part of the name,
instead of '팥/pat', they're gonna change it to something else.
So for example, 딸기빙수/ddalgibingsu, which means, like, strawberry bingsu. Or like - S: Or - 커피빙수/keopibingsu, coffee bingsu.
A little while ago, we posted a picture of '우빙수/woobingsu', do you remember that?
S: 'Cause we were at the '우/woo' Bar in the W Hotel so they made it 우빙수/woobingsu.
M: And that was their, like, specialty one. S: If we made our own patbingsu what would it be?
M: (nervously) Umm okay. I'm under pressure but I'll try. S: Simbingsu. M: It's this, umm, Marsimbing su. No.
M: It's the - S: Likeamanbingsu. - thespudgmeemerbingsu. Thespingbingsu. The umm okay, wait.
S: Dothrakbingsu. M: (normal voice) Dothrakbingsu doesn't... S: (Dothraki Man Warrior voice) We have pieces of horse meat in here.
*Martina laughs* S: (DMW voice) Carcasses of our enemies. Along with refreshing ice and ice cream.
M: Okay. Can we just go get some ice cream? We're standing outside and I'm getting really sweaty in the pits.
S: Patbingsu isn't just ice cream. It's a combination of many things including shaved ice -
M: Okay. Okay. Let's explain that when we get inside to our airconditioned building. We're going to 'Cafe Elefante'. It's a cafe in Bucheon.
They do a really awesome gourmet patbingsu along with an awesome cute blue interior and - Elefante - and they do coffee and I'm leaing you guys.
S: (DMW voice) ELEFANTE-BINGSU. MADE OF ELEPHANT MEAT. M: Na na na na na na~
S: (DMW voice) Did you know that elephant is very good for 'man energy'?
S & M: Na na na na na na~
[music]
S: Okay, so if you look at the menu here, you actually won't find the patbingsu because it's very seasonal.
So you'll see the sign for patbingsu outside. M: So I took a picture of the sign, and we have a couple of choices:
코코넛빙수/kokoneotbingsu, so it's coconut patbingsu. We have 딸기/ddalgi, and we have 커피/keopi.
So the coffee one is kind of like affogato, where they pour, like, espresso over the ice cream.
*Martina makes salivating noises*
M: What it winds up (doing) is melting the patbingsu, I find, and I don't want my patbingsu to melt that quickly.
So what we're going to get is the strawberry bingsu and the coconut bingsu to show you what it's like.
We're obviously not gonna eat both because that would make us piggies.
[cicadas chirp] M: Yes. Obviously.
S: Umm... we're doing this for science! M: Science!
[music]
S: So we realised that they were playing 'Beat the Clock' [[aka 'Minute to Win It']] here. We gotta try and talk as quickly as we can before this all melts.
M: Also, I feel like pointing out that normally people do not look like piggies, like us.
Usually, you have one between two people - S: Yes. - but we want to show you guys some different - we're doing it for YOU, you know?
S: For you guys! M: We wanted to show them a variety.
So the first time you get this, you might be, like, "How the heck am I supposed to eat this? Am I supposed, like, eat the ice cream first? Do I eat around the edges?"
It's kind of like a mixed dish, so you kind of like - Simon's doing the motion right now. Ready?
It's like the plunge-in-the-toilet motion. You want to kind of, like, mush it around together.
S: Try to get a bit of everything here. M: Yeah. It's kind of the way to eat it. So it won't look pretty in the end, but it's gonna taste damn delicious.
S: Mmm. While you keep talking about that, I'm gonna start eating. M: (high-pitched) No! I'm gonna keep your spoon hostage 'cause you're gonna try to eat while I talk.
M: (normal) So what makes this patbingsu different than other kinds?
(slap sounds) The basics that every patbingsu has would be shaved ice, that's, that's pretty normal. S: Love that shaved ice.
(ice shaver starts in background) S: And if you wind up hearing that noise in the background,
that's actually the ice shaver shaving the ice (ice shaver stops) so it's a little bit difficult to ta-
S: Talk. M: It's like, it's like the sound of summer. Now these beans are what's gonna set apart a good patbingsu from, like, a mediocre one.
These ones are home made. We saw them coming out of the fridge, out of, like, a container. It wasn't coming out of a can.
If it comes out of a can it's, like, all sugary and gross. So what's in yours, Simon?
S: So what I have so far, I have some shaved ice, I have the ice cream, which is typical,
I have the red beans beneath, DID YOU JUST EAT SOME?? M: What? S: That's totally not fair.
M: (mumbles) I didn't. S: We also have the little pieces of 떡/ddeok, which are, like, rice cakes.
The equivalent of these, I guess, are marshmallows made out of rice.
M: The actual term in English is 'glutinous rice cake', but that to me sounds absolutely revolting.
The word 'glutinous' should never be included in something so delicious as ddeok.
I think we just gotta start eating this before it starts, uh, melting down into nothingness. S: Cue sexy food music.
[sexy food porn music]
S: Which one do you like more? M: The coconut. S: Really? I love the strawberry one.
M: I love coconut. I'm biased. (Obsessed fangirl voice) Oh my god.
S: (Obsessed fangirl voice) I know from the beginning you were gonna talk about coconut and not about the beans. *Martina laughs*
YES, WE ARE COCONUT BIASED, ALRIGHT?! Coconut(s) are low-card and high-fibre.
M: (Obsessed fangirl voice) Oh my god. Simon totally admitted he has a coconut bias. I knew it.
M: (normal voice) Would it be wrong of me to pick up this bowl and chug it like a first year freshman at university?
S: Yes, piggy. M: Oooh. Harsh words.
[FAPFAP music]
S: So that's it for this week's FAPFAP. I hope you liked us eating our patbingsu 'cause we really like eating our patbingsu.
M: I bet you're pretty jelly [[jealous]] that we're eating patbingsu right now. S: (sings) //Oh you so jelly, jelly. Why you so jelly, jelly.//
That's our jealousy song. M: My tongue is still a little bit frozen so I'm concerned that my final ending comments might be a little bit funny sounding.
S: Maybe you should just make a 'derp' face. Ready? Three, two, one, 'derp'.
[string crescendo]
[music]