‘Sup y’all?
Marriage expert Brad Browning here… with a video on the top 11 signs that your marriage
is failing.
Now this isn’t a totally exhaustive list of signs that your marriage is going under…
and on the other side of the coin, if your marriage is exhibiting just a few signs from
this list, it doesn’t mean that you should be signing the divorce papers either.
Marriage is an ever-changing, bumpy road and you will inevitably experience ups and downs.
That being said, if you ARE seeing the following signs in your marriage, then at minimum, something
in your relationship is likely worthy of your attention.
So hopefully the following list serves as the impetus for further reflection.
Let’s dive right into it.
SIGN 1 - You feel isolated and lonely in your marriage.
Studies show the feelings of loneliness and isolation are some of the biggest factors
that can lead to divorce.
While it’s important to have your own hobbies, friends, and life outside of your relationship,
it can be destructive when you’re NOT paying enough attention to your spouse.
If you aren’t openly communicating with your husband or wife… or even acknowledging
their existence, it’s a sure sign that your marriage is on the wrong path.
In order to address this, make it a point to reach out to your spouse every single day…
even if it’s a boring question about how their day went.
Occasionally, try and have deeper conversations about how they are feeling and see how you
can improve any facet of your relationship.
In other words, just be their companion… and I can promise you that over time, the
feeling of isolation and loneliness will subside.
SIGN 2 - Your sexual relationship with your spouse is non-existent.
Of course, it’s natural for sexual chemistry to dwindle in a marriage… especially if
you’ve been married for many years.
But if you’re not having sex at all (or not nearly enough), this is a massive sign
that your marriage is failing.
And this sign is a lot more common than people think – according to one survey, almost
12% of marriages are nearly or entirely sexless.
If you aren’t having sex with your husband or wife, then honestly ask yourself why.
Sure, life gets hectic – I mean… maybe you work too much or the kids are always getting
in the way, but you should ALWAYS try and allocate time for romance and intimacy with
your spouse.
If the desire to have sex is completely gone, however, then there might be deeper issues
at play which need to be addressed.
SIGN 3 - Finances are stressing you out.
Financial stress can cause a lot of marital problems if you let it.
If your bank account is in dire straits, it can be difficult to find the time and energy
to be intimate and romantic with your partner.
According to several studies, lower income families are harder hit by stressful life
events and are more often mired by mental health issues... than higher income couples.
Being stressed about anything has also been proven to lower your IQ by up to one standard
deviation... and thus, you are far more likely to make irrational decisions that could further
harm your marriage.
When money is a big issue, it can be difficult to address.
But it’s important to have open communication with your partner and work together as a team.
That means setting a budget you can both agree on and finding ways to live within your means.
Although life can get you down, navigating through these issues with your life partner
can bring you two closer together than ever before.
SIGN 4 - You fight WAY too much.
Of course, this one’s a bit of a no-brainer… but some couples don’t know when to put
their gloves down!
In any marriage, it’s healthy to have bickering here and there.
It shows that you care and that you’re willing to fight to improve your overall situation.
But when the fighting is nonstop, you can kiss your marriage goodbye.
There is no ONE solution to fixing a marriage that’s mired with arguments – it all depends
on the context.
But if you’re looking for customized help in fixing your marriage, then head on over
to MarriageGuy.com/coaching to see how you can get email coaching from YOURS TRULY!
Again, MarriageGuy.com/coaching and you can hit up the page after this video is done.
SIGN 5- You don’t fight ENOUGH!
Like I said in sign #4, it’s healthy for a marriage to have some level of bickering.
BUT… when there’s absolutely NO bickering at all, apathy might be setting in.
When couples don’t fight at all, it might mean that they simply might not care about
the relationship anymore – or that they’ve “given up” if you will.
And this lack of wanting to engage is the COMPLETE antithesis of love.
In order to address this, you will have to uncover some deeply seeded problems in your
marriage and address them right away.
Apathy is a massive sign that your marriage is going to fail, so the sooner you get on
this, the better.
SIGN 6 - You don’t even want to hang out with your spouse anymore.
If you find yourself wanting to hang out with your friends rather than spend time with your
spouse, then this might be a sign that your marriage is failing.
Of course, we all need a moment away from our spouses from time to time, but if you
frequently enjoy spending time AWAY from your spouse more than WITH your spouse, then this
is a giant red flag.
If you’re finding this is the case with you, try something new and experiential with
your spouse.
The novelty of this new experience will allow you both to engage with each other… and
hopefully, renew that spark that’s been lost.
Try and find activities that you BOTH enjoy and I can promise that your marriage will
improve in no time.
SIGN 7 - You find yourself always nitpicking at your marriage.
If you feel like you’re always let down or disappointed by your spouse, then it could
mean that your marriage isn’t doing so well.
Of course, if your spouse isn’t putting in the effort to do simple things, then that’s
a separate issue entirely, but if you’re always feeling like your partner is falling
short, then you should be addressing this issue fast.
One of the biggest problems in marriage is unrealistic expectations – we are constantly
bombarded with TV shows, movies, and books that depict marriages that are full of life,
amazing sex, unicorns, and rainbows.
In reality, however, finding someone that meets your every desire is almost impossible.
Sometimes, you have to lower your expectations to a certain degree to make a marriage work.
I know, this isn’t the advice you probably want to hear, but this increased expectation
that we have in society is one of the primary drivers of increased divorce rates.
SIGN 8 - You find yourself flirting with others a little too much.
There isn't anything wrong with a bit of teasing between friends, but for many, flirting crosses
the line.
Of course we all want to FEEL attractive to other people… and admittedly, it is GREAT
when you know you’ve been checked out by a member of the opposite sex, but relishing
too deeply in this sensation is a sign that you aren’t getting your needs met at home.
If you notice that you’re wanting to meet new people of the opposite sex or if you’re
just flirting way too much, then this needs to be addressed ASAP.
The video guide that I have on my website goes over a lot of this stuff…
So if you’re interested in learning more about how you can improve your marriage to
the point where you DON’T EVER want to flirt with anyone else, then head on over to MarriageGuy.com
and watch that video right now.
SIGN 9 - You both refuse to seek help.
If your marriage has been on the rocks for a long time, chances are you’ve sought help
at some point.
But if after a few futile attempts you both give up, then this is one of the surest signs
that your marriage is doomed.
Marriages are obviously not easy, but they aren’t designed to be.
And they won’t improve if neither party is willing to put in the effort.
To address this, seek help YOURSELF even if your spouse doesn’t want to.
There are things you can do today, by yourself, that will improve your marriage by leaps and
bounds.
If you’re interested in learning more, then I again encourage you to head on over to MarriageGuy.com
to check out that free video guide.
SIGN 10 - Finally, you brag about your relationship too much on social media.
Couples that have it all have nothing to prove.
They don’t constantly brag about each other to other people.
Not only is this annoying for people around you, but it also might be a sign that you’re
trying to overcompensate for something that’s lacking.
One study showed that the more one spouse feels insecure about their marriage, the more
they’ll try and make it visible to the world.
Instead of doing this, ask yourself honestly why you’re posting all those pictures on
your Instagram or Facebook.
Is it because you’re truly happy with your partner or is it because of something else?
Being honest with yourself is one of the most important things you can do to address the
problems in your marriage.
SIGN 11 – You stop envisioning a future with your spouse.
This could be as simple as, for example, not even planning your next vacation or even your
weekend plans.
If you find yourself apathetic to what’s happening in the future, then it’s a pretty
sure sign that you either don’t care, or you don’t see a future together with your
spouse anymore.
This is probably an indicator that there’s something in your marriage that’s hampering
its foundation, and that something absolutely needs to be addressed ASAP.
Like I said, this isn’t an exhaustive list of signs that your marriage is going downhill.
Marriages, like all relationships, have their ups and downs and it’s how you handle this
turbulence that really defines how strong your marriage is.
If you are experiencing even just one of these signs, then it’s important to try and address
it as well as possible.
This isn’t always easy – especially if your spouse simply isn’t on board with talking
about it.
For situations like this, it’s important to have support, and that’s why I offer
1 on 1, private email coaching to a select number of clients.
So again, to learn more about my private email coaching, just head on over to MarriageGuy.com/coaching
to learn more.
I promise you it’s a LOT more affordable than you think, and it’s helped thousands
of couples stop divorce and ultimately mend their marriage.
Again, that URL is MarriageGuy.com/coaching.
Anyways, that just about does it for this marriage video.
If you have questions, leave them below and I’ll do my best to get back to every single
one of you.
Until next time, YouTube!