- I've been songwriting for so long,
ever since I could write.
This was kind of my first experience
writing something I knew would be heard,
but I kind of just had to remember that you have to
come from a place of truth and authenticity
and so that's what I tried to do with this song.
I play Nini in High School Musical: The Musical: The Series
and she's just growing up and being a teenage girl
and taking her SATs and dealing with boy problems
and all of these issues that I'm all too familiar with.
I wrote a song on my Instagram maybe 6 months ago
and I posted it.
The Disney Plus executive sent it to our producers
and said we want a ballad for Nini
and we want it to be like this song that Olivia wrote
and so our showrunner was like,
well why would we have somebody else write a song
that you want to sound like a Olivia Rodrigo song,
so he was just like, let's skip the middle man
and have Olivia write it.
I wrote this song by myself,
which was really cool that they let me do that.
I feel like Nini and I share so many experiences
that I was kind of just writing as Olivia and also as Nini,
which was really great.
It was a great exercise as an actor and a songwriter
to get to write this song.
So this first verse is referring to EJ,
which is Nini's kind of fling at the time of the song
is sung in the series.
He's great and he's like a 4.0 student
and he really believes in Nini
and Nini really needs that at the time.
But she finds out later that she only got a part
in a play that they were doing at summer camp
because he gave the girl that was supposed to play the part
a rotten egg and Nini was the understudy.
And so she kind of found out that she got it
because of this weird, fraudulent thing that he did
and so she was kind of upset at him
and he also stole her phone which wasn't good
and so he was kind of being deceitful
and she was noticing that
and so that's kind of where that line comes from.
It was definitely referring to EJ kind of interfering
in Nini's career life and her being like, you know what,
I didn't need you to do this for me,
I can be successful without your intervention.
And I think that's something that's so true for me too.
I'm very stubborn and I like getting things
because I got them off of my own merit, you know?
And it's also kind of just a really empowering line,
I think it speaks to a lot of different situations.
So this verse is referring to Ricky,
which is Nini's ex-boyfriend and they dated for a year
and she said "I love you" to him
and he didn't say it back and she was heartbroken
and then he broke up with her,
not to give away too many spoilers but
she just was always kind of in love with him
but always felt like he wasn't loving her back enough.
She felt like it wasn't reciprocated,
so that's where that line comes from.
That was the line that I kind of resonated with
as Olivia the most.
I feel this way in a lot of relationships,
I'm like a very loving person
and I love doing things for people
and serving them
and giving all of my time and energy and appreciation
into one person and then that's not given back,
it's kind of tough and I think that's kind of something
we all really do, even in non romantic relationships.
And definitely something Nini was feeling at the time.
So, I say that I'm through but this song is still for you.
I think it's kind of this relatable thing
where we all tell our best friend,
"I'm done with him, he's terrible,
I'm just completely over it"
and then you go on Instagram at like 2 am
and look at all the pictures you have together.
This line especially is just showing
how far Nini has to grow.
This compared to where she is in the latter episodes
just shows her character arc and her growth as a person.
In this, and I think Nini feels the same way,
I think I was trying to articulate
how I wanted and she wanted something
like a long lasting relationship
where somebody just respected you
and loved you unconditionally.
We've all been there.
I was actually talking to my mom about boy problems
and she's like "there's nothing wrong with you"
and so that's kind of where it came from.
Funny, mom gets some writer's credit.
Sometimes being in love with a person
who doesn't love you the same way can feel kind of
like degrading to you when you're wondering,
oh maybe if I was prettier or more interesting or funnier,
then they wouldn't act this way, but it's totally not true,
it has everything to do with them
and nothing to do with you.
I think Nini has still yet to figure that out.
I have really high expectations
as I think we all should have.
Set the bar high ladies and gents and everyone.
I think in this song especially I was just referring to
someone who loves you in the same way that you love them.
Somebody who's trustworthy and decent
and has dignity and does the right thing.
I feel like sometimes I say I'm super feministy,
I don't need a man, I'm totally fine by myself,
but sometimes I don't always feel that way
and I know that I should
and I think lots of people feel that way probably
and that's okay.
I feel like Nini is really working on finding herself
and realizing that she can be self sufficient
and self reliant and loving herself
is the most important love.
I am very young and still probably very naive.
Past Olivia thinking about all these ideal guys
that she would find in her life
and not being able to find that guy
and probably past Nini reflecting on all of the people
that she's dreamt up in her head
that aren't actually existent in real life.
I think I still do believe in happy ever after.
Like I said, I'm still pretty young and naive,
but I think it's definitely attainable,
but who knows maybe it's not the romantic part in me,
maybe it's with yourself.
In the first chorus I say 'Shouldn't that be enough for me'
and then in the last chorus, the last line is
'All I want is for that to be okay'.
So, all I have is myself at the end of the day,
all I want is for that to be okay,
because really Nini is kind of realizing how
she wants to be this person
who's self confident and self reliant and really doesn't
need other people's validation to feel whole
and to feel good about herself.
I think her coming to that realization
at the end of the song is kind of indicative
of kind of the larger plot that goes on in the series.
Olivia has felt that too, you know?
All I want is to feel alright in my own skin
and feel confident enough to then go on
and have romantic relationships where I feel good about
myself and I don't need anybody else, if that makes sense?