- In this video, I'm gonna show you the three things
that make woman lose respect
and lose attraction for the man they may be dating.
Now you can also rearrange these words to be feminine,
masculine, for men and woman, because it could be
like that in whatever type of relationship there is.
Now, here is the key and here is the number one thing
that kills all attraction across the board
in any relationship no matter the dynamic,
the number one thing, and the first thing I'm gonna share
with you is that of neediness.
Needy energy repels.
Needy energy causes people to lose respect.
Needy energy is literally the opposite of magnetic energy.
Now needy energy is something that sometimes
when you're dating someone, you may start to emit
once you start to feel uncertain
with whether they still like you or not,
if you start feeling uncertain in your future
with this person you may start to have
more needy type behaviors.
And the most important thing to understand
about this is that the energy you feel about you
is being projected out and other people can feel that.
When there's an energy of neediness,
normally what is happening is there is a dependence
on something outside of your own energy field
that you are trying to manipulate
or control to meet your own needs.
Now, this is why when you see people that have
that needy energy, it is like they want something from you.
They want your validation.
They want your approval.
And what they believe is they believe that if they
are needy, if they put out that energy,
they will actually get what they want.
Now it seems logical, right,
that needy energy doesn't really work, but in the mind,
the way that it is is there's a feeling inside that says,
"I don't feel good enough.
I want this person's validation or approval.
And if I act this way, then I'm going to get my needs met.
I'm gonna get what I want: their validation, approval,
them to stick around."
Something that sometimes people do
is they start feeling like somebody's pulling back
'cause they may actually say, "Hey, you're pulling back
and it's really, this is something that you're pulling back.
Why are you doing this?
Why are you gonna go hang out with your friends?
Why are you gonna go doing this?"
And there is something to be said, though,
about vulnerability, because I believe
when you could be vulnerable and actually express
something that you're maybe afraid of hiding,
'cause a lot of times people feel needy
and they're very afraid of showing any level of neediness,
even though they might feel it.
And the cure to neediness many times is vulnerability,
is actually expressing the real you.
It's expressing how you really feel, how you really think.
I remember a lot in one of my prior relationships,
I was kind of dancing around that feeling of neediness.
And I was in a way in this pattern
where I was choosing people that emotionally
and were not choosing me and what I was doing
is I was making it okay that I was in relationships
with people that weren't choosing me
because I felt like that's what I deserved.
But it was really also avoiding me asking people
to kind of like choose, if that makes sense.
I literally, eventually once I started facing this neediness
and I started realizing where it was coming from,
I started to actually express my real heart.
I actually started to say, "You know what, actually,
this is what I want, and if this isn't gonna be the energy
that is met, then I'm going to go do this instead."
And I had to actually have the courage to do that.
So sometimes what I wanna say is
if there's that needy energy there,
realize that you might be settling in a way as well
for people that maybe aren't choosing you
because deep down you're not choosing yourself.
You don't believe that you're worthy
of somebody that chooses you.
You may feel familiar to choose someone
that's not choosing you, so then needy energy is activated.
Also a lot of times this will also be indicative
of a anxious or avoidant attachment style.
So it's normally the anxious that's the one
that's feeling needy and it's because
there's the deep down issue or the core issue
of the childhood wounding,
is the inner child wound of abandonment.
There's a belief that says, "People don't stay.
I'm not worthy.
People are going to leave me."
And in order to mitigate that, people try to be needy.
They try to get their own needs met.
And in a way, they're putting these unrealistic demands
on outer reality.
They want the person they're dating to meet
their own inner childhood needs
that weren't met when they were kids.
But the abandonment wound comes
because a lot of times what we've done
is we've abandoned ourselves and we've then tried
to make everybody else happy.
And part of making everybody else happy means
that we need our needs met on the outside
and then we demand other people make it
and then we'll manipulate other people
and be kind of passive aggressive and shit
in order to get our needs met.
The cure is to stop abandoning yourself
and to start being vulnerable,
start expressing the real you.
What do you really want?
What do you really desire?
And neediness is also about the energy behind the action.
If you're living in integrity with who you really are
and you don't need anything from anybody else
because you know who you are and you're being present
to the moment, it's a very different energy
than really needing and wanting someone else's validation
or approval because that's really what it is deep down.
It's the abandonment wound.
It's the need for validation, the need for approval.
And knowing that actually you can activate that energy
within yourself and you can express the real you
knowing that maybe some people
don't resonate with it, but that's okay.
That's a part of the process of dating.
That's a part of the process of learning
about who you really are and really your own power.
Now, the second thing that will make a woman lose respect
for you or lose attraction
for you is having a lack of polarity.
Now, lack of polarity.
Polarity is very important when it comes
to sexual attraction and attraction in general.
Now, just to generally clarify this,
the masculine energy is all about directionality.
It's directional, it's going in a specific direction.
It is focused on purpose.
It is focused on living up to the true potential.
It is focused a lot of times on outcome, on going somewhere.
And that allows a lot of times the feminine to feel safe.
What happens though sometimes, is when the masculine
is not directional, is not going towards their purpose
what can sometimes happens is then they stop activating
that polarity within themselves.
And a lot of times what'll happen too sometimes
is the masculine will then make the feminine
their shining star and they'll make their relationship
the most important thing in their life,
which is honestly a big mistake,
because then the feminine can't feel safe
and some woman might be listening to this right now,
a feminine people might be listen to this,
"No, I want the masculine to be
to put me as a priority to their purpose."
You might think you want that, but I promise you,
if you get it, there's gonna be a lack of polarity there.
You're not gonna really be able to go
into your true feminine energy, because you're not gonna
really be able to feel safe because the way
masculine energy is meant to be, is directional.
It's focused on purpose.
And that is like the sole, the number one priority,
because then once that happens,
then their relationships fall into place.
Then there's sexual polarity there.
Then there's safety and they're able to provide
in that kind of way for the feminine.
Now the feminine energy is all about emotion.
It is all about flow.
It is all about feeling and nurturing and giving life.
The feminine is all about life and feeling.
And the difference between these two energies
when a lot of times the woman has lost respect for the man
or lost attraction to the man,
is because the man, or the masculine,
is not focused on their purpose.
They are not focused on directionality.
They may have made the relationship the sole focus
in their life and that has depolarized the relationship.
And therefore that loss of attraction is there.
So one of the most powerful things you can do
whether you're on either side of the spectrum,
so whether you are listening to this right now
because you just wanna understand more
about feminine, masculine energy.
I know understand there might be some feminine
or woman that are watching this,
is to go into the core of yourself, of your own polarity.
And sometimes what also happens is the feminine
will believe they won't feel safe with the masculine,
so then they'll create all the masculine energy
within themselves.
They'll create a real successful business.
And if they do that too much
without getting back into their own feminine flow,
then they'll activate a lot of masculine energy
and they'll find themselves attracted to feminine men.
Something else I found interesting
is there's a research that has been done on woman
on birth control.
And woman on birth control, sometimes what they'll do
is while they're on birth control
they'll get in a relationship with somebody
and then they may even get married.
But then after they get married,
if they get off of birth control sometimes,
they'll realize they're not really even attracted
to their partner.
People that are on birth control,
woman that are on birth control a lot of times,
it changes their hormones to a place to where then
they'll actually choose less masculine men
or less masculine energy
because their hormones have been shifted.
So, one thing that's very interesting
about this is that there are different things
happening inside the body that are affecting how we think,
how we feel, how we're showing up in the world.
And one thing to learn from this whole thing
that I'm sharing right now is that if you want
to attract a masculine man or a feminine female,
or whatever gender it is, but masculine or feminine energy,
then I would encourage you to embody the energy
of the polarity that is if you wanna attract the masculine,
then it's to really embody the feminine energy
which means to get more into your flow,
which means to be more focusing on your giving life
and nurturing and having that kind of feminine energy.
If you're masculine, what you most likely are
if you're watching this video or that's what you want
to get back to is your core, then I'd focus
on being directional, focusing on your purpose,
focusing on that directionality of also living
by your own integrity.
These are things that will affect how you're showing
up in the world and what you end up attracting.
When I was not in my own masculine frame,
I would not attract woman that were in their feminine frame
because I wasn't in my masculine frame.
So there's like these dynamics where you could
either be in your masculine energy, your feminine energy,
some people are neutral energy.
And a lot of times when you're in neutral energy,
you're gonna attract other partners that are also neutral.
And there really is no good or bad with all of this.
There are some relationships out there
where the woman is more masculine
and the men is more feminine and it works fine for them.
For me, I prefer to be in my masculine.
My girlfriend prefers to be in her feminine.
And it just depends on what your
there really is no right or wrong
but you have to be honest with what is natural for you.
'Cause sometimes we have childhood trauma
that happened where we said, "It's not safe for me
to be in my masculine or it's not safe for me
to be in my feminine," and we may have reverted.
But when you start to get to your own core
you realize that you can completely shift the energy
by allowing yourself to seek into the natural energy
of what is really natural for you,
not that what was created out of trauma
of trying to avoid those feelings.
Now the last thing that will repel love
and have the feminine lose respect,
lose attraction for you very often happens
when the masculine is starting
to feel not safe in the relationship.
What they might do is they may try to control.
They may try to control, withhold their love.
Things may become very conditional.
The control is something that is trying
to manipulate someone else's energy
to be the way that you want them to be instead
of fully accepting them and letting them
figure out things on their own.
You know?
So it's an interesting dynamic that happens
but in many cases it is actually repelling
especially if you're like, "I need to know where you are.
I need to know what you're doing.
I need to know who you're talking to."
That stuff is jealous, it's controlling,
and it repels energy.
So all three of these things, neediness,
lack of polarity, and controlling energy
will all repel and literally have the feminine
or the other energy not respect.
And for many of these things, it also works in the reverse.
So it's stuff that the masculine
the feminine does will also repel the masculine.
So you can look at it from that way as well.
Now I do have a meditation.
I have three meditations:
an inner child meditation, attract love meditation,
and meditation on transforming your own self image,
that the three most powerful meditations I have
that will help you to create a complete identity shift
so that you could be this non-attached
magnetic version of you.
If you want those three meditations that are
my most powerful meditations I've ever created,
you can go to the description box below
or go to aarondoughty.com/meditation.
And then also if you want a video
that's gonna show you how to really work with this energy
if they leave exactly what you should be doing
to create that magnetic energy
from the inside out and how you should detach.
Watch this video right here.
They may not come back if the energy remains the same.
However, if the energy changes, if the energy comes back
to self, you'll notice that the energy
becomes much more magnetic and literally people.