♪ I don't want you to leave me ♪
♪ Though you caught me cheating ♪
♪ Tell me ♪ - (laughs) Whatcha say?
Can a catchy song be toxic as hell?
Absolutely.
Mended Light. (bright band music)
(crowd cheers)
Okay, so you ever hear a song and the beat is super catchy
and the vocals are like on fire and you just really dig it,
it's your jam, and then you actually listen to the lyrics
and you're like, oh?
So I love this song and I hate this song.
This is Jason Derulo's "Whatcha Say".
For some of you, this is an oldie.
For me, it's not that old because I'm super old,
so 10 years isn't that big of a deal.
But this is "Whatcha Say" by Jason Derulo.
Jason Derulo.
It's Jason. Right?
He says that in the song.
Don't say it Jason.
It's Jason.
So I'm gonna break this down for the messaging
of the lyrics, as well as the sweet dance moves,
which is, that was actually the exact move
that Will Smith told Kevin James not to do in "Hitch."
- Don't ever do that again.
- And I just dropped it like it was hot.
♪ Wh-wh-wh-what did you say ♪
♪ J.R. ♪
♪ Mm whatcha say ♪
♪ Mm, that you only meant well ♪
- How can you not like? ♪ Well of course you did ♪
♪ Mm whatcha say ♪ ♪ Jason Derulo ♪
♪ Mm, that it's all for the best ♪
♪ Of course it is ♪
♪ I was so wrong for so long ♪
♪ Only tryin' to please myself ♪
♪ Girl, I was caught up in her lust ♪
♪ When I don't really want no one else ♪
♪ Oh, no ♪
- So he says I was so wrong for so long,
only trying to please myself.
Girl, I was caught up in her lust
when I don't really want no one else.
So right out of the gate, he's trying to apologize
for cheating on his partner, and I say trying,
because he starts with, it starts pretty decent,
and then he takes a hard left into.
He says, I was so wrong for so long,
only trying to please myself.
That's the start of a good apology.
I was caught up in her lust,
but I don't really want no one else.
So he's already like blaming the other woman, right?
It's already kinda well, she came onto me.
She was all hot for me.
What was I supposed to do? Say no?
Oh, that's what I was supposed to, okay, cool, yeah.
Say no, I got it.
There's this toxic messaging in a lot of media
that drives me nuts, which is that a man
has no sexual control, right?
That even if he's in a committed relationship,
even if he's in love, even if he's trying to build
a life with someone, an attractive woman hits on him
and he's going to be like, okay, because apparently,
we're a bunch of idiots with no self-control.
It's still a super catchy song, though.
Let's continue to imbibe the catchy toxicity.
♪ Oh, no, I know I should've treated you better ♪
♪ But me and you were meant to last forever ♪
♪ So let me in ♪ ♪ Let me in ♪
♪ Give me another chance ♪ ♪ Another chance ♪
♪ To really be a man ♪ ♪ Oh ♪
- So I know I should've treated you better,
but me and you were meant to last forever.
On the one hand, it's beautiful.
I wanna be with you forever,
and I know I should've treated you better.
On the other hand, what if she's already
on her way on her way out?
What if she's like, yeah, you cheated and I'm done?
This languaging is kinda like, yeah, but you can't do that,
'cause we're meant to last forever,
so how dare you defy fate?
I mean, I cheated, but you're gonna leave?
Pfft, seriously?
♪ 'Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out ♪
♪ I just didn't know what to do ♪
♪ But when I become a star, we'll be living so large ♪
♪ I'll do anything for you ♪
- (laughs) When the roof caved in,
and the truth came out, not when I humbly came forward
and confessed to you what I'd done,
but when you caught me, right?
The roof caved in, and the truth came out,
I just didn't know what to do.
And then he says, but baby, when I become a star,
we'll be living so large, I'll do anything for you.
In other words, I slept with another woman,
but I'm gonna rich, so you probably wanna stick around.
Huge vote of confidence in her integrity there, man,
huge vote of confidence in what she's all about.
(chuckles) I cheated on you, I was terrible to you,
but I'm gonna be rich and famous and fate declares
that we must be together.
So basically he's boxing her in, like you can't leave.
You can't be done with me for these reasons.
You know what's funny, though?
I still love this song. (laughs)
Every time it's on, I'm like.
♪ Mm, whatcha say ♪
Like I totally get into it, and dang.
I'm part of the problem.
♪ So tell me girl ♪ ♪ Mm whatcha say ♪
♪ Mm that you only ♪
♪ Meant well ♪ - He does have
some pretty sweet leg-popping moves, though.
Look at him go. ♪ Well, of course you did ♪
♪ Mm whatcha say ♪ ♪ Whatcha say ♪
- I mean, some of that's editing,
but he does have sweet dance moves.
♪ Mm, that it's all for the best ♪
- Oh, there's the other woman.
♪ Of course it is ♪
♪ Mm whatcha say ♪
♪ Mm that you only meant well ♪
♪ Well of course you did ♪
♪ Mm whatcha say ♪ ♪ Whatcha say ♪
♪ Whatcha say ♪
♪ Wh-wh-wh-What did she say ♪
♪ How could I live with myself ♪
♪ Knowing that I let our love go ♪
♪ Love go ♪
♪ And ooh ♪ ♪ Oh ♪
♪ What I'd do ♪ ♪ Do ♪
♪ For one chance ♪ ♪ One chance ♪
♪ I just gotta let you know ♪ - Oh.
There she is.
♪ I know what I did wasn't clever ♪
- I know what I did wasn't clever.
No.
♪ But me and you were meant to be together ♪
- But me and you were meant to be together?
♪ So let me in ♪ ♪ Let me in ♪
♪ Give me another chance ♪ ♪ Another chance ♪
♪ To really be a man ♪
♪ Oh ♪ ♪ 'Cause ♪
- I mean, I know we're just rhyming here
and we gotta make it work,
but I know what I did wasn't clever
is the biggest minimization
justification of having an affair.
Instead of like, I really effed up our lives
and I'm an a-hole it's look, it wasn't my smartest moment.
Granted, it wasn't clever, but me and you
were meant to be together.
Like his (sighs), his argument is not
that I'm going to treat you right.
His argument is not that I'm gonna take full ownership
and accountability for my behavior.
His argument is not you have every right to be mad,
and if you leave, I understand
that that's a consequence for my choices.
It is, we're meant to be together, I'm gonna be rich,
we're supposed to last forever, and yes,
what I did wasn't super clever.
(sighs) Jason, hit me up, man.
If this is still a problem, if this is still going on
in your life and interrupting like your relationships,
give me a call, I'm gonna help you out.
So Jason, whatcha say?
Therapy a good fit for you?
- Hey, J, I cheated on my girl.
- Yeah, cheating is a bitch.
And the other woman's like, oh she left.
And yet, I can't stop watching him dance.
♪ But when I become a star, we'll be living so large ♪
♪ I'd do anything for you ♪
♪ So tell me, girl ♪
♪ Mm whatcha say ♪ - And I dig the,
I mean, they can clearly sing,
but there's a little autotune sound to it,
but it actually sounds cool
when they sing that little chorus.
♪ Whatcha say ♪
♪ Mm, that it's all for the best ♪
♪ Because it is ♪
♪ Mm, whatcha say ♪ - I told you,
I still love the song. (laughs)
The guilty party. ♪ Mm, that you only meant well ♪
- Yeah, he look, well, at least the music video
is showing him looking contrite, so that's good.
♪ Mm, whatcha say ♪ ♪ Whatcha say, whatcha say ♪
- Whatcha say, are we gonna say it together?
♪ Mm, whatcha say ♪
♪ Girl, tell me whatcha said ♪
♪ Whatcha said ♪
♪ I don't want you to leave me ♪
♪ Though you caught me cheatin' ♪
(Jonathan laughs) ♪ Tell me ♪
♪ Tell me whatcha said ♪
- So I don't want you to leave me,
though you caught me cheating, so here's the deal. (sighs)
If someone cheats on you and you want to work
on the relationship and they are actually
taking full accountability and not blaming it
on someone else's lust, and they're not just talking
about what they're gonna do better,
but they're actually showing you with their actions
and you decide to stay and work on the relationship,
that's totally valid.
Even if people are telling you, you should leave,
you should kick him to the curb or kick her to the curb,
like if you decide to stay, that's valid
and that's something we can help you with.
If you decide to leave, that's equally valid.
You haven't defied fate
by leaving someone who cheated on you.
You don't owe them another chance.
So one of the things we specialize here at Mended Light
is helping couples and individuals heal from the trauma
of betrayal of infidelity.
We have a free masterclass on healing from infidelity.
You can click the link in the description
to learn more about that masterclass and sign up,
to get some free resources and free support and guidance.
♪ Tell me whatcha say ♪ ♪ Say, yeah ♪
♪ I don't want you to leave me ♪
♪ Though you caught me cheatin' ♪
- I don't like his messaging, but dude can sing and dance.
♪ I really need you in my life ♪
♪ 'Cause things ain't right ♪
♪ 'Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out ♪
♪ I just didn't ♪ - Collapsing on the ground.
♪ I just didn't know what to do ♪
- I didn't know what to do.
Okay, here's what you do when the roof caves in,
and the truth comes out and I'm gonna talk
to the people who cheat or have cheated.
Most people who cheat never thought they would do that.
They never saw themselves as that type of person.
It goes so far against their values.
People cheat for a variety of reasons.
I'm not gonna list them all here, but if you find yourself
and the roof caved in, and the truth came out
and I didn't know what to do, here's what you do.
Own it, right? Own it.
Don't blame somebody else.
Don't minimize, don't justify.
Take the heat without getting defensive,
and I'm not talking about one time.
I'm talking about as long as it takes.
Take the heat from your partner's hurt and your anger.
They have been traumatized.
They thought their relationship was safe.
They discovered that it's not.
That is devastating.
So they're gonna rage against you and you need
to be willing to take it, number one.
Number two, that other relationship
has to be completely done.
Number three, you need to understand why and how it happened
so that you can keep it from happening again.
Four, you need to be willing to recognize
that if your partner needs to be done for their mental
and emotional health, that you need to accept that,
and that's the fallout of the choice that you made.
And five, if they decide to stay, you're gonna have
to learn exactly what it's gonna take to regain their trust
and it's gonna take changing here and here.
Once again, healing from infidelity masterclass,
for those who've been cheated on,
but also for those who've cheated, link is below.
♪ Star, we'll be living so large ♪
♪ I'll do anything for you ♪
♪ So baby, whatcha say ♪
♪ Mm, whatcha say ♪
♪ Mm, that you only meant well ♪
♪ Well, of course you did ♪ ♪ Well, of course I did ♪
♪ Mm, whatcha say ♪ ♪ Mm, whatcha say ♪
♪ Whatcha say ♪
♪ Oh, that it's all for the best ♪
♪ Well, of course it is ♪
♪ Mm, whatcha say ♪
- This is, well, I can spend the rest of the video
doing this, oh. (laughs)
♪ Mm, whatcha say ♪ - Oh, good times though.
Seriously great song.
Terrible song and great song simultaneously.
- [Announcer] Beluga Heights.
- Beluga Heights, I guess is what they say there.
This has been "Jason Derulo Gets Therapized."
If you enjoyed this, check out
"The Simpsons Gets Therapized."
I like to break down pop culture
through the lens of psychology here.
Check it out.
Until next time, like, subscribe, click the bell.
(bell chimes) And keep shining,
because we need your light.
(bright band music)
Oh, here's Homer and Bart.
We're gonna teach you some stuff about healthy parenting.
Of all things from Homer and Bart, healthy parenting.
Straight up, though, it's good. Check it out.