anything to make me leave them and talk to him he'd blow up my phone while I was
at dinner if I didn't respond he'd call me awful things just to bait me into
giving him attention even on prom night he tried convincing me to stay home and
when I didn't comply he went silent which worried me to death illymation
has been extremely brave with sharing her story about her abusive ex-boyfriend
and in this video we're gonna be discussing how she became an emotional
hostage and what you can look out for so you don't have the same thing happen to
you what is up everybody this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk
about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel
my channel is all about mental health and what I like to do is pull different
topics from the YouTube community to try to teach you how to improve your mental
and emotional well-being so if you're into that stuff make sure you subscribe
and bring that notification bell and something that I love about the
community and the subscribers I have and everybody follow me on social media is
that you guys are amazing amazing at recommending videos for me to
check out and kind of unpack and you know teach you different lessons and all
that and I never heard of illymation and her abusive ex boyfriend story or any of this I'm probably
gonna screw up her name 50 million times but anyways a lot of you who told me
that she made a new video so in this video I'm actually going to break down
the first video that she did about how she met her abusive ex-boyfriend I'll
probably do the next one tomorrow so for those of you who don't know I am
currently in the middle of writing an anger management book called rewire your
anger I needed a little bit of a break so I decided to watch this so bye
anyways go check out my Instagram at the rewired soul I put up the entire chapter
list hopefully be out by Sunday if not Monday but anyways yeah as I break this
down like just so you know there's so much there's so much going on here and I
could talk about this forever I didn't realize that her video was about her
being so young when this happened and that that's a huge deal and the first
thing I will say is that I'm so glad that she's an animator and she's making
this because there's so many young people out
there and like I'm a parent I have a son who's about to turn ten year old ten
years old and we've had conversations and things like that but I know some
parents find it difficult or awkward or they don't like talking about these
things and you know we're always worried like here's my kid gonna watch Jake Paul
or Tana mojo but you have somebody like illymations animations over on YouTube who's using
her platform to teach young women even young men about what to look out for and
that is so admirable those of you who've been following my channel I'm a huge
huge huge advocate of sharing your story because it can help so many other people
and I look forward to checking out early May since other videos about how she got
out of it but I will remind you too at the end of this video as well I put all
of the resources that she has in my description so if you need help make
sure you go and check that out one day someone popped in and said they liked my
drawing and they asked how old I was I said I was 13
they said they were 17 and they thought my art was so good that I had to be an
art teacher or something now this may seem like a compliment and it is
especially from someone older than you and that's exactly what I was thinking
but considering what would later happen this is called grooming so yeah this
first this first part that I showed it it's about grooming and as a parent it's
it's difficult and I'll tell you this like just the best thing that we can do
the best thing that we can do is just have open dialogue with our children at
all times I grew up I grew up when AOL was like the first big thing we had
dial-up modem with the whole thing so like that's what I started and from that
time back in the 90s or 90s like it was an issue like there's predators out
there and go check out my buddy ready to glares channel she just put up a video
about what's going on on tumblr and how it's coming over to Twitter and how
there's people who are doing child grooming now like we need to be aware of
this and hopefully ready to glare and I can do a collab soon because I'm
learning so much stuff and as a parent it freaks me out even more but there's
just certain things that we got to teach our kids about and have an open
conversation about right like my son right now is in the other
room playing fortnight right he plays on xbox live with a lot of his friends but
we've had like talks and guidelines and I I communicate with him I'm like how
old are the people you're playing with him and all of that and most of them are
within his age range and then like once in a while he'll be like oh yeah we were
playing with an adult on our team the other day I'm like what you were playing
with an adult but yeah like have these conversations if if you are really
worried and this is something I might need to make a whole separate video
about like it is okay to to check and ask these chats or whatever it is for
safety reasons but please if you're a parent like educate yourself about
what's going on how people out there are trying to take advantage of kids because
it is a bad situation and I'm glad alienation is bringing some light to it
it accused me of ignoring him and hating him and one night when I fell asleep
I woke up to a barrage of texts from him saying he was going to kill himself
because I was ignoring him and I called him a million times and after hours of
calling and texting that I'm sorry and it wouldn't happen again
he finally responded and thankfully he was okay but I was not a thirteen I
couldn't imagine being the reason someone killed themselves okay so this
this is huge like the rest of this video I want you all to understand like this
could happen to you at any age any age at all alright so right there she's
talking about how this dude would threaten suicide and this is where we're
talking about how somebody is kept as an emotional hostage all right there
there's so much that goes into it I made a video a while back about being an
emotional hostage and alienation like her video explains how it evolves how it
happens they are going to make you feel bad in different ways they're going to
tell you that you know you're hurting their feelings of you know you're doing
this to them and all these other things and like you need to look for these red
flags alright so if you are like out in the dating scene if you're on my tinder
or or Kade Cooper or whatever it is you start talking to a guy or you start
talking to a gal and they start doing these things and trying to make you feel
bad for not showing them all these all this attention that is a huge huge huge
red flag I actually mentioned this in the video I did the other day
Haley Reese like some of us were so lonely and we want somebody to be there
for us that we think it's like enduring that this person texts us 24/7 and once
all over our attention but no because it can turn into stuff like this so like be
aware of somebody who wants a hundred percent of your attention all the time
but then it escalates to a point where if alienation wasn't talking to him he
he was threatened suicide and this is something that we need to take very
seriously so my mom who's a psychologist and I we made a video a few months ago
about this happening and how to take suicidal threats seriously like you have
to you have to have to have to and in case I don't circle back to this point
like please please please everybody out there watching this video if you even
get close to this situation talk to people talk to people talk to people
like this is why we have a discord server this is why we have a Facebook
group all this stuff is always linked down in the description have people you
can talk to have people you could talk to them say is this normal is this weird
is something off you know what I mean because it can slowly escalate into a
place where the person is threatening suicide but like if you came to me it's
like okay call the police call the cops do this do that you're right I can give
you some steps that's what some of these resources down below in the description
will help you with as well but let me use some of my personal
experience okay I made a video a while back about how you need to quit blaming
other people for your feelings but at the same time you cannot be responsible
for other people's feelings you guys I work in drug and alcohol treatment and
the last three years I've had over 70 people die if I take responsibility for
all of those deaths I'm gonna lose my mind right so remember like you cannot
make somebody do anything like that alright no matter how much they try to
manipulate you into thinking that you cannot make someone feel that way if you
provide them with the resources if you call the police if you call 911 or
whatever it is to send you know emergency services over to their house
you are doing the most that you can do but in situations like this you need to
talk to somebody so you can exit that situation like you
cannot be held as an emotional hostage in this way all right that clip right
there like that's a huge red flag like ladies especially like that's a huge red
flag guys two huge red flag if if somebody keeps pressuring you into doing
something and you have clearly stated that it makes you uncomfortable bye
peace out see you later I am done I am gone alright like someone
who does not respect your boundaries has no place in your life alright like I
know I know that it sounds kind of harsh it sounds kind of rough but man like
like these type of videos getting me worked up because my entire life I've
had you know female like a lot of female friends like my best friend is a woman
my girlfriend I hear these stories about how men just do these things like and
I'm not trying to white knight or our / nice guys up in here but it's just awful
and like we really need to look out for this so like if somebody is not
respecting your boundaries when you tell them what is making you uncomfortable
you need to exit that situations these pictures of me were so important to him
he'd do anything to get them so he found a way to deny deflect and blame me for
everything I can't believe you think I'm up what is wrong with you are you crazy
do you have any idea how that makes me feel as your boyfriend do you think I'm
right there aleem ation is talking about gas lighting and this is huge okay this
is when somebody like alienation like describes about anyway it's when
somebody makes you question your own sanity right like have you ever have you
ever watched the Shane Dawson series about Jay Paul they talked a little bit
about how narcissist or sociopaths will do this right I guess both will do this
but like they'll make you feel bad for them doing something bad to you like
that's bonkers one of the best like ways to counter gaslighting is to have a
support group to bounce these things off other people and say does this sound
right to you does it sound right to you that this
person is saying these things to me and making me feel
bad about what they're doing like you need to have other people and this is
like huge for any type of just mental health thing at all like I cannot always
trust this thing this is why I bounce things off of other people so I know I'm
like okay am I overreacting to the situation or is this really happening he
also threatened to kill me and then himself if I didn't comply
you could have said no no I couldn't have I was terrified you don't know what
it was like you don't get to say that to me and millions of other young children
who are lured into this kind of evil every day and lastly lastly alienation
like discusses why why people stay silent why people stay silent and you
know there's there's so many there's so many stories just just looking through
the news and it just breaks your heart bright and the most we can do is just
try to spread some awareness and try to provide resources and open up and talk
to people like again if you're watching this like that's one of the reasons why
we have the discord Surfer there's like a thousand people in there and and
specific chat rooms so if you're in this situation you just need someone to talk
to you like pick up your phone message somebody or get into our Facebook group
and post about it okay there are many women and there are many men who have
been through these situations before they will help guide you through walk
you through this provide you with resources all of that find support
because no you don't have to like you don't have to run and like you know tell
the local news or like you know your parents these are all things that I
recommend but if you're not at that place yet like you need to tell somebody
especially if you are a young person watching this video something that I
hear a lot from my younger audience is that they're afraid to tell their
parents for a variety of reasons they don't want their parents to get mad they
don't want their parents don't worry that - that - talk talk to somebody at
your school okay a teacher a counselor somebody that you trust okay have a
conversation with them but do not keep this to yourself alright you need to
find somebody local in your area who you could talk to about this I get messages
all the time from my younger audience and like I wish I could help everybody
but the best thing you can do is talk to somebody local to your area okay do not
stay silent about this stuff find somebody who you can talk to about it
alright so anyways yeah alienation she's definitely one of my new favorite
creators I just subscribe to her Channel I will be watching part two probably
tomorrow I might make a part to recap tomorrow but anyways I got my book to
complete rewire your anger again follow me on Instagram and Twitter it should be
hopefully going live on Sunday or Monday depending on
wind they approve it and let it go through and all that stuff
anyways follow me because I'll be doing giveaways and stuff like that four
copies of the book soon alright anyways again there are resources down in the
description if you or someone you know needs help make sure you check out the
description alright but that's all I got for you with this video if you like this
video please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and
bring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos and a huge thank
you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon you are all amazing and
there is also some brand-new exclusive content over on patreon so if you're
signed up go check it out it's my secret to how I stay motivated alright thanks
again for watching I'll see you next time