[background shouting] Lynn, check this out!
Who has goat?
No, I said look at this!
I'm not cooking fish!
[shouting and laughing]
[sighing]
[shouting] Wow, it gets loud...
in there.
- What's up? - Remember when I said
I needed a new writing challenge now that my novel is done?
- Yes? - And that I was hoping
I could make writing my full-time career?
- Yes? - Ba-bam!
I... I heard Lynn Jr. say that. Anyway, look.
The Royal Woods Gazette is looking for a writer to pen
a weekly parenting column.
Wow, you're the perfect fit for this.
You'll totally slay!
I heard Leni say that.
Anyway, you should definitely go for it.
[singing]
[phone ringing] Hello?
Rita Loud? Jesse Hiller from the Royal Woods Gazette.
Here's the headline:
I think you're a perfect candidate for the columnist job.
Our readers would love to hear how a mother of 11
keeps it together in our new column:
"Perfect parenting".
Hold on, perfect parenting?
Stop the presses, is there a problem?
[meowing]
[shouting, laughing]
Poo-poo.
[sighs] No problem at all.
If you want perfect parenting advice,
you've come to the right place.
I can't stress enough
how important this interview is, kids.
I really want this job,
so I need all of you to be perfect.
[complaining]
Being good is hard enough.
I don't know if we can reach perfect.
[imitates buzzer] Spoiler: We can't!
Okay, how about this?
If I get the job, I'll take you
to Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet
for a celebration dinner.
[gasping] You can count on us, Mom.
Come on, guys, let's go get perfect!
[giggling]
[doorbell rings]
Why, Ms. Hiller. Welcome to my home.
Hello, Rita.
Oh, would you care for a homemade blueberry muffin
or some fresh-squeezed lemonade?
Oh, you really do have it all together don't you?
Would you like to meet my little angels?
[bell ringing] Oh, children!
- I'm Lori. - I'm Leni!
Luna at your service.
- I'm Luan. - Lynn Loud Jr.
Lincoln.
Hello, I'm Lucy.
Lana, nice to meet you.
Lola Loud. Charmed, I'm sure.
Lisa Loud, PhD.
Lily!
Well, aren't you all a delight?
Now, tell me, what's it like having a mom like yours?
I think we can best answer it in song.
♪ Life in the Loud House Is like no other ♪
♪ And that's all thanks To our amazing mother ♪
Sensational!
This reviewer gives you five stars!
[laughs]
Another flawless performance, children.
Now why don't you head upstairs and play quietly?
Can we clean our rooms instead?
[chuckles] Of course.
Well Rita, this afternoon was absolutely perfect.
Breaking news, you're hired.
[clapping]
Thank you, Jesse.
[laughs nervously] I'm speechless.
That's alright, save your words for the column.
[humming]
[cheering]
[Rita] Dear Bathtime Bungler.
Dear Mall Meltdown.
Dear Potty Training Patsy.
[sighs] We'd love a table in the back
or, you know, in the kitchen.
Careful, Mr. Coconuts,
you've got a chip on your shoulder.
[laughing]
Hey yo, Lincoln! Go long!
I got it!
What a fun idea having our editorial meeting here.
Oh, you gotta be kidding me!
I hear the guac is newsworthy.
Kids, psst! We need to go.
Waiter, check, please.
- Woops! - Oh, my!
Ghost, ghost, vampire.
Oh, me? Wait, I was--
Whoa!
Ugh, what in the name of the Funny Pages
is going on here?!
Oh! Hi, mom's boss!
[groans]
The Loud family?
- Hi, Jesse. - What's going on, Rita?
Have your children been bitten by rabid raccoons or something?
Oh, if only.
No, this is how we really are.
What you saw at my house was an act.
But, the muffins, the song, the matching outfits?
All fake.
I knew you wanted a perfect parent,
and I wanted the job, so...
[sighs]
I'm not a perfect parent.
I try to do my best, and some days are great,
but some days are more than I can handle.
Parenting is my favorite job,
but it's also the hardest.
I'm sorry I misled you.
I'm sorry too, clearly you are not right for the column.
This just in: You're fired.
Now, hold on, Jesse. I love what she just said.
Hmm... Well, I guess you both would know better than me.
I don't even have kids. [laughs]
Does that mean our mom isn't fired?
This just in:
Your mom can keep her job.
[cheering]
Rita, forget being perfect. From now on, just be authentic.
Thank you, Jesse. I can do that.
Woo! Burrito spike! Yeah!
Congratulations, now would you mind celebrating somewhere else?
- [gasping] - It's okay, we get this a lot.