- Yes, hello, my name is Jeff Goldblum.
And you are BuzzFeed, BuzzFeeders.
Do you call yourselves BuzzFeedians or...
You've never seen me cross-legged on the floor before,
except when I auditioned for "Waiting for Guffman,"
and I was the storyteller.
"Yeah, beans.
"Don't get me started about beans.
"Yeah." (spits)
No, I'm only kidding.
No position I'd rather be in than like this.
I wish I had my guitar and could be
singin' some nice campfire songs.
I'm gonna get some puppies in here.
I love puppies.
I did that movie "Isle of Dogs."
So, I do love dogs, and Wes Anderson is a genius.
And I have a dog myself, and we got him when he was a puppy.
Woody, his name is, and he's a red-haired standard poodle.
Anyway, puppies, so wait, watch these puppies.
- [Crew Member] (laughs) All right.
(lively jazz music)
- Oh my gosh.
Hi, sweetie pie.
We did an episode for this show,
"The World According to Jeff Goldblum,"
on jewelry, and I talked to a guy, and I forget where,
'cause he was telling me about his sweet,
beloved Miss Piggy, his little dog.
He cremated the dog, Miss Piggy, and then turned it
into a jewel, into a diamond, a pink diamond.
Look, oh, baby.
Baby, baby.
I'm deeply in love.
I am deeply in love.
(lively jazz music)
My fashion icons and inspiration,
currently, are my two sons.
I've got a four-year-old boy named Charlie Ocean
and a two-year-old named River Joe.
Listen to this, for Halloween, River Joe,
I'd been showing him, there's no screen time
for either of the kids, but we've been showing them
little Chaplin shorts, Charlie Chaplin short subjects.
They love it, and the two-year-old is obsessed,
he's gonna go for this Halloween as Charlie Chaplin.
He got his outfit yesterday, for like a half an hour,
couldn't stop being Charlie Chaplin.
I took pictures, I've got pictures right now on my phone.
You cannot believe.
If I could look like that.
And he couldn't get, he just kept exploring
and falling down, and he had this cane.
Anyway, he's my, I'd like to look like that.
He's my fashion icon.
(lively jazz music)
"The World According to Jeff Goldblum,"
you know, that's a character I can relate to.
That's me, and I'm him, and so, that's me.
Besides that, well, look, Ian Malcolm
in "Jurassic World," which I'm gonna do again,
is a wise, he's much smarter than I am,
but I aspire to his wisdom and perspective and science.
What's the name of this sweet doggie?
- [Crew Member] That's Julianne that you're holding.
- Julianne, like Julianne Moore
in "Jurassic Park," the second, "Lost World,"
Julianne Moore!
And what's this one's name?
- [Crew Member] That's Gaga.
- Gaga? - Yeah.
- I love Lady Gaga!
I love Lady (laughs) Gaga!
(lively jazz music)
"Oh, Jeff!"
They say, "You know, I'll bet nobody tells you this,
"I really liked you in da-da, da-da, da-da,"
or something unexpected.
You know what they used to do?
I used to go to parties, this is a while ago,
and they would just come up behind me and go "Bzzz."
I guess that was "The Fly," you know,
a "Fly" joke, you know.
Mostly, you know what they do?
They say, "Hey, can we take a picture?"
"Sorry to bother you, do you mind if I take a quick selfie?"
So that's what we do, that's mostly what they say.
Yeah, "Sir, can I get a selfie?"
"Can I get a selfie, dude?"
That's what they say.
Or I meet a lot of them at these jazz gigs.
I've got this jazz group, and I meet a lot of them
at these gigs, because I make myself available,
which I like to do, I'm very interested in them,
and I talk to them, and we take pictures
and so, you know, this and that.
(lively jazz music)
That's so interesting that you should say that.
We did an episode on makeup, and they took
me to, I went to this drag show, Hamburger Mary's,
and met them, and it was very interesting.
In fourth grade, my mom, Shirley, in Pittsburgh,
for Halloween, which is not a seasonal,
ripped from the seasonal headlines,
she wanted me to be a witch.
And she dressed me up, I'm telling you,
as a really elaborate, she loved costuming,
and she was a craft amuser herself.
She made muumuus for us, and cut my hair,
and did all sorts of things.
But on this occasion, we got kind of a ghoul mask,
but a wig, and she put her brassiere on me
and stuffed it up so I had a bosom.
And then she put, I had a little crinoline thing,
and skirts, and I had some ballet slippers,
and I had some gloves, the fingertips of which were missing,
and then she put long plastic fingernails,
fake fingernails, on me.
So I was a lady, big lady, in fourth grade.
But I enjoyed being masked, 'cause I'm a good boy,
I was a very good boy in school, in that school.
What I liked best was that I was malevolent in some way,
and I kind of started to menace and push
the other children around a little bit,
you know, and I liked that for a time.
I never misbehaved, and it sort of accessed
another part of me.
My drag name in that instance was (low growl)
Wanda, the Wicked Witch of the, you know, of Pittsburgh.
(laughs) What would my drag name now be,
if I dressed up as a lady now?
I don't know that I'd be an attractive lady, I have to say,
but right now I'd be Jeffinda, Jeffinda.
Or Michelle, or, you know, Lucy.
(lively jazz music)
I'm a minimalist.
I aspire to wandering the earth
in a diaper and with a bowl and a spoon.
That's all I wanna own, really,
and I don't know about the diaper part.
Why can't I, in this scenario,
how come I can't find a bathroom?
I don't wanna poop my pants.
Forget it, I think that used to be,
that's an obsolete fantasy at this point.
I do like to keep it pruned down.
So glasses, at different points, I've had and collected
a healthy amount of choices.
And currently, we love this Jacques Marie Mage designer.
We went to his studio here.
I think all I've got at this point,
besides a couple of Tom Ford glasses that we had,
you know, a former cycle that we've kept.
I don't know, a half a dozen or seven.
But this is how you train puppies, I think.
You get to be, "Hey, I'm the alpha dog here,"
so if they can let you do this...
I met that Dog Whisperer, Cesar...
- Millan. - Millan!
He was lovely, you know why?
Because I was playing a dog in "Adam Resurrected."
I needed to be a dog, so I did my due diligence
and went to look at the dogs, to look at our dogs,
and then went to him.
And he said, "Yeah, you can come over and talk to me."
Saw his whole gang of dogs, and I said,
"How am I gonna be a dog?" and
"Why are dogs like they are?"
et cetera, et cetera.
What if I asked you to join us, Gaga, like this.
Could you possibly join the, oh, sweet, come on!
This is the happiest moment of my whole life.
That's it, if nothing happened from this point on,
I'd be absolutely fine.
(lively jazz music)
I think I was at the piano, and I sang
with Brian Stokes Mitchell, who played my husband in that,
and Lea Michele was our daughter, we did a scene together.
(dog tags jingle) I loved it.
(lively jazz music)
I love Wes Anderson, so any, you know,
those sets are just so iconic, they're just
fantastic, fantasies, you know, a group and a cast.
We went to Rome, to Cinecitta, and filmed a little
of "Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou,"
and then went to Gore Vidal's villa in the South of Italy.
And then, for "The Grand Budapest Hotel,"
we went to Gorlitz, Germany.
It was a winter wonderland, and we were all surrounded
there with Bill Murray and everybody.
It was just fantastic.
And "Nashville," oh my gosh!
I'd love to go back to 1973.
Nixon resigned, on television, that summer,
and we all were watching it together.
It was a moment of jubilation and sadness.
Bittersweet, of course, for the country,
but a moment of celebration.
And we were all there, Lily Tomlin
and Keith Carradine and Shelley Duvall.
And Shelley Duvall and I went to,
she said, "There's this guy, David Bowie,
"who's doing this 'Diamond Dogs' tour,
"you know, Ziggy Stardust.
"He's gonna play live here in Nashville.
"Let's you and I go together."
We did, we saw that.
Little did I know would I later go and work with him.
So I'd revisit that set, "Into the Night,"
and once again be able to be with David Bowie.
We had a couple of scenes together.
I could do the whole thing again, you know.
I wouldn't mind if, at the end of it,
you just went back and did the whole thing over again.
I wouldn't mind that for a moment.
(lively jazz music)
We went to, for pools, we started talking about pools.
You'd think we'd be visiting swimming pools.
We went to NASA, the Neutral Buoyancy Lab in Houston,
and I talked with astronauts who had been up in space,
and met a couple of women who were training
for the new astronaut team, and they went
in this pool that was so large that they
had a replica of the space station,
the International Space Station, there.
And they were practicing there, and I went
and put on scuba gear and snorkel gear
and floated around with them, and found out
many things about space and neutral buoyancy.
And then a guy who was up in the space station currently
called me, and I had a talk with an astronaut from space.
(smacks lips)
(lively jazz music)
Ooh, my dream life, ooh!
'Cause I had dreams last night.
Sometimes I don't remember them, but I know I dreamed.
(inhales sharply) Aah!
Aah!
Sometimes, ah, I have a varied, varied and rich dream life.
Sometimes I dream that I'm unwelcome someplace,
that I'm unwelcome.
Or that I'm being chased around, or there's some crisis.
And by the way, I had a dream,
the first dream that I can remember was about a witch,
speaking of a witch, and she got me
on a stump and she tied me up.
And I thought she was gonna cut my head off,
but all she did was, she went, "Peaches, peaches!"
And then my brothers, two older brothers,
found out about it, and we shared a room,
and at night, when we all went to bed together
at the same time in three different beds,
they would go "Peaches, peaches!"
Yeah, how about that?
(lively jazz music)
Once again, I haven't been (laughs)
following it so much, I know I should.
But if it sounds, if everything worked out,
well, it's as I said in that video,
I had faith in all the players involved.
They're adults and professionals.
And I imagine everybody wants is for the greatest good
for the entire community, and that must include a marriage,
a successful marriage, and new Spider-Man stories.
So, bravo, and I'm very happy.
(lively jazz music)
Hey, we're talking about it, in fact.
You know, I hope so.
I love Taika Waititi, he's a great director
and a friend of mine, so I hope so.
But I played the part again a couple of days ago.
I went to the Disney studios and I recorded
the Grandmaster's voice for an episode
of a show that's gonna be on Disney+ called "What If...?"
where it's an animated version of all the characters
we know and love from Marvel.
And this episode included the Grandmaster and Iron Man,
so Robert Downey will do a voice in that,
and Korg, Taika Waititi had already
recorded his voice for that.
So yeah, I enjoyed, for a couple hours,
I enjoyed doing that again, so, and the Grandmaster as well.
All I want you to remember, if you remember
nothing else, VanderpumpDogs.org.
That is the website that you must visit,
because Vanderpump is the company, the great company,
that provided these out-of-this-world adorable puppies,
and we love Vanderpump.
Vanderpump.
So go to VanderpumpDogs.org.
That's it!
(lively jazz music)