Top of the morning to you laddies
My name is Jacksepticeye and welcome to Cooking Mama: Mama kills animals. You know, fun for the whole family
Everybody can get in on this. This is the unauthorized PETA Edition though. It's not to be associated with the actual PETA edition where mama kills
every single animal. This is only mama killed some animals, so let's uh, let's "cook"
created by PETA wait
Was this actually created by PETA? This is confusing? I don't know what's happening, but I didn't really know what this is. Prepare the turkey
Okay, pluck the turkey. Click on the feathers to put them from the dead turkey. Okay, no- Why are you so angry?
Lighten up! Smile. It's time for that POSTIVITE MENTAL ATTIUDE, mama! Come on! PMA! PMA!
You can do it mama, I believe in you! Alright starter-oo, Oh where's my fucking hand? Oh my god. Why is-
Why is there like not a single fucking frame rate in this game?
You're grabbing a whole bunch of them. What is happening?? Oh, I failed
It's because I don't have a frame rate. Okay. It runs a bit better now. Okay, pull the fucking- Pull the feather away!
What is happening? Okay getting all the feathers this time. Okay? I got it. I got it this time
absolutely fucking vonderful
WOOOO
YEAH!
I'm very mean! Meaner than mama! Mama's happy , mama's proud of me
Mama brought home a baby puppy for me one time and I pulled out his fur off, she was proud of me.
Okay, remove the internal organs. Don't mind if I do mama
Stick your hand inside the turkey, remove the organs, and place them into the mixing bowl
I told you, fun for the whole family! If this fucking chair could stop floating around like I'm on a boat
It'd be great. Okay. Wait. What was I supposed to do?
uhmm
Okay
Okay, removing all the goody bits. Make sure you get the giblets now! Don't want those to be left in there
I'm good at this when it comes to killing animals
Thanks guys. Thanks. Thanks everybody. This is a horrifying game
Complete! At least the animals are already dead
Maybe? Is that a consolation? What mama never told you, In the U.S.,
almost all birds have their throats slit while they're still conscious
and according to the US Department of Agriculture, millions are scalded to death in tanks of hot water (uhm...ok...)
That's pretty rough. Okay, well let's just continue on then shall we and question our morals in life
Crack the eggs
Pick up the eggs, crack them, and deposit them into the bowl. I almost couldn't read that. The only crack the egg
i know is the game you play in the trampoline where you sit in a ball and everybody else has to bounce you around
Okay, okay. Here we go *bonk bla* Yes *bonk*
Why is there blood coming out of them? Are you trying to tell me that I'm killing little tiny chickens inside this?
The feathers come out as well
Boy mama you sure do make it pretty easy to commit god-awful actions
See, this is why Mama's mean. She's seen some shit, and she doesn't have a fucking P.M.A.
POSITIVE. MENTAL. ATTITUDEEEE
*cough cough*
Remember that. Oh I didn't even see what it was. Oh fuck
Okay, this is actually fairly easy
There we go, there we go
This is not good for my- Wait what? Oh I am fucking doing that
It's not good for my diet you know
Okay, there was way too much.....
Carcass in that. I'm gonna choke on those bones and die
I think mama would actually be pretty happy about that. Would you mama?
Good Ship Lollipop *i have no clue what the fuck he just said* (Me either bro) {Good ship lollipop- It's a really old song by Shirly Temple, guys. XD}
Stuff the bird. Grab the stuffing, then drag it over the turkey and release. Be careful not to use too much!
What are you trying to say mama? I think I can't stuff a turkey? Think I can't stuff a bird?
Uh turkey stuffing is fuckin good though. Not when it's covered in blood and feces though.
I love me a stuffed turkey as much as the next person- uh-oh, uh-oh, Uh-Oh, UH-OH
Was I meaner than mama? Keep going. Too nice?
How dare- I'll fuckin- I'll show you mama. I can start- I can do this better
Watch this mama. Watch this shit. Watch your boy go! Watch him fuck up this dead bird, okay?
What up? See, all I needed was a little bit of discipline from mama, her holding up that knife
Mama what you got? A knife!!! No!
Alright, remove the head. Okay. *pop* Oh I can move her around a small bit
Remove the head. Follow the guide arrows on the screen to saw back and forth to remove the head
*random noises*
Poor turkey
Oh nooo
EH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH
That wasn't even that hard
Poor turkey. Poor Turkleton
Cook the turkey. Turn on the oven by pressing the "on" button. Oh well no f-fuck her
and turn it off when the temperature reaches orange. Let me guess, I turn it "off" at the orange off button? Orange butt?
Okay press it "on" with on button, turn it off when it reaches orange, okay.
*Bonk*
BOOM! PERF- Too nice?!
What do you mean too nice?! I did exactly what you said.
Is that good? Too ni-
Turn off when the temperature reaches the orange
Okay, did this is kind of brownie orange
That's perfect!
Meaner than mama!
So they always want in life. I want to be meaner than mama. I don't want to just do things half-assed
I want to be the meanest and narliest, awesomest person there is
And I achieved that with my POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE
Sorry I know screaming it at you isn't the right way of going about it, but sometimes some tough loving is all it takes
Did I do it? Did I- did I prepare Thanksgiving?
What mama never told you. Turkeys are drugged and bred to grow so quickly that their legs cannot support their weight
Countless birds slowly starve to death within inches of food after they become crippled and are unable to move
All I asked is to play some video games
I didn't wanna get sad.
Make the giblet
I thought a giblet was something you removed from the turkey
This, I would call this
gravyyyyyyyyyy
Chop the neck. Follow the guide arrows on screen- I already did this
Why? *Aye-ya-ya* Oh, Harry Potter!
Okay okay okay okay
There we go
Some slice and dice Mr. Turkeyman. I'm sorry for all the pain
I have caused you, even though I'm pretty sure he's way beyond pain. Sauté the body parts. Turn on- you know what?
Don't even need to. You don't even need to listen to this. Watch, turn it on
boom boom boom
This looks fucking gross
Why would anyone eat that?
Would you eat that mama? Yeah of course. Your mouth's always open, you just throw some in there
Strain the gravy. Oh now you call it gravy. It's not called giblet no more?
Okay, you gotta remove all the lumpy bits
Here we go. Here we go. Here we go, yes
That is the most normal looking thing I have done in this game so far. I actually made some decent looking gravy
Complete!
That one even- *unintelligible mumbling* -take that long
Meaner than mama 10x! Take that mama
Each year in the U.S., 300 million turkeys are killed for their flesh
Almost all spend their entire lives on factory farms and have no federal legal protections
Okay, hit me with those actual facts mama
Thanks to you, Mama has had a change of heart. You've unlocked the bonus level: Mama Loves Animals.
We're gonna make vegetarian or vegan food
Actually a vegan. Vegetarian isn't-
Vegan is the one that would love animals more, I believe. Mash the tofu. Oh, this is nice
See, it's not all about blood and guts. It had a positive message at the end, and you know why?
positive mental attitudeeeee
Mash the tofu! Mash the tofu!
Oh, that was fun!
Better than Mama. I'm not meaner than Mama anymore. Follow the arrows to shape the tofu. I sure will!
Oh, yes. Oh, yes! Look at that beautiful bouncing ball of tofu goodness
Mama, I'm gonna do you proud. I wanna do you so proud Mama
Okay, you got to- we gotta take some juice and squirt the juice. Take the juice
Squirt the juice. Take the juice, squirt the juice. Take some juice and you squirt the juice. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I'm the best at making dinner. I'm good at making dinner. Ok same thing, but this time we were cooking a tofu ball
God, that one stopped at the exact time. The other ones try to fucking delay. Come on Mama! Don't do me like this Mama!
Not bad? Mama! Imma fucking show you "not bad". Here we go, here we go
channel your inner
Beast
Fucking perfect
Bellissimo!!
and we did it
That doesn't actually look that bad
Pretty tasty. What Mama never told you this time. Turkeys have unique personalities
just like dogs and cats. Some are social, and some are loners.
We can all- we can all agree on that. Some of us are social. Some of us are loners. See? Turkeys are people too
People who live with turkeys in animal sanctuaries report that they even have varying tastes in music .
I want to hang out with the turkey that listens to BTS
Exclusively BTS and maybe a bit of little turkey that listens to some heavy metal.
You stick the two of them together. We have a
perfect turkey
Ahh, I finished it
And Mama's happier than she's ever been!
Because of you, Mama loves animals. That's you. You out there. Because you were using the Positive Mental Attitude (Tell them boy)
Now that you've seen just how gross it is to kill an innocent turkey...
Take the pledge to be a Veg
Huh
So it actually had a point at the end of it all.
I thought this was just a gruesome game where we went through and we had like a little turkey snuff movie that we were making.
And we destroyed a turkey from the inside out. Absolutely mangle it to pieces but no.
Had a bit of a message at the end. Don't take the pledge and be a veg
Well I hope you all learned something here today. Hope mama taught you something. It's not just about how much blood is on your knife
But how much blood is in your heart as well.
Anyway, thank you guys so much watching this video! If you liked it, Punch that like button in the face,
LIKE A BOSS
And...
high fives all around
*Whapish* *Whapish*
But thank you guys and I'll see all of you dudes.....
IN THE NEXT VIDEOOOOOOOO
*outro music plays*
I'm a little bit sick. I'm not at full capacity yet captain