Our first guest is a very funny comedian
and co-anchor of "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live.
Please welcome Michael Cheyt.
Hi, Ellen.
Hi, Michael.
How are you?
I'm fantastic.
I'm very happy to talk to you, as always.
Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Happy Cinco de Mayos, as well, to you.
Thank you, thank you.
I know that you don't really celebrate many holidays.
Do you celebrate anything at all?
I like Thanksgiving.
Cinco de Mayo just seems gratuitous.
I pretty much-- every day is my Cinco de Mayo.
Yes.
Good point.
It's just another excuse to drink more than usual.
But your birthday's coming up, so do you
celebrate your birthday?
I try not to.
I don't really like celebrating anything,
except for Thanksgiving.
Why don't you celebrate your birthday?
That's a wonderful day?
The day you were born, and you're here,
and you're look what you're doing
for the world with your joy and comedy?
No, no, No-one buys it.
I buy it.
I bought it.
I'm selling it.
I appreciate it.
Well, hey, I heard you just became a first-time homeowner.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
I'm actually like a first-time anything owner.
Like I don't own--
it's not just the house, I don't have anything.
This is like the first thing I ever truly
bought for myself that's worth something.
Good for you.
So you don't own a car?
This is the first anything.
I don't know how to drive a car.
Oh, well then you shouldn't own one.
Hey, Michael, I understand you think that you
have a bobcat that's in your--
like, is this the new house that you're at?
Yes, it's very scary.
So, you know, I'm up here alone, and there's only one thing
stopping me from the rest of the world.
And that's a door.
And I think there's a bobcat stalking my property,
and it's freaking me out.
OK, well first of all, a bobcat is not going to hurt you.
It's not going to hurt a human being, but--
Agree to disagree.
OK.
All right.
It's more scared of you than-- but let's take a look.
I want to tell you that it's probably a cat, because you
don't seem to--
can we see the video?
Well, yeah, sure.
I got a video.
That's a cat.
Look at him.
That's a cat.
Oh, no.
That's a bobcat.
And it's a cat, technically, but it's also
a bobcat more officially.
Michael, it's not a bobcat.
It's a cat.
Why don't you go out, feed the cat.
It's hungry.
It's looking-- it needs some food.
No thank you.
I'd like to keep all my fingers.
Oh.
What is it?
How big can that thing be?
It's tiny.
Five, six, seven feet?
I can't really estimate just by eyeballing the footage,
but that's definitely a bobcat.
OK.
I thought it was a wolf, honestly,
but I think it's a bobcat.
Right.
You've been in Manhattan way too long.
Hey, last time you were here, you
said you had a crush on a woman named Maple.
She worked at Whole Foods in the produce department,
and now you've moved away.
So did you even make contact with her?
No, I never found my Maple, and I've switched Whole Foods,
so I've just been walking around.
Sometimes I do an extra lap around the produce section
to see if maybe she got transferred,
but it hasn't happened yet.
Oh, no.
I would have thought talking about it,
somebody would have gotten in touch with Maple,
and then she would have looked for you
when you were in Whole Foods next because it seemed like you
really were attracted to her.
I've had a few cousins contact me
that like needed money but other than that, no.
All right, well, sorry I brought out the wrong people.
But when we talked about it, there
are a lot of people online that admitted
that they had a crush on you.
My name is not Maple, but he can call me whatever he likes.
What a great guy.
I should get a job at Whole Foods between the strawberries
and the mangoes.
There she is.
That is prime real estate.
I mean I'm usually near the limes, but yeah, please.
I'll seek you out.
All right, there she is.
And then here's another one.
I'm not Maple, but I live in the Bronx.
That's two out of three, I guess?
Yeah.
Why the Bronx?
I don't know.
She's just saying she's close enough to you.
I'm single too.
I'll date him.
Sadly, I don't work at Whole Foods, though.
But my name begins with an M.
Cool. all of these seem like fair options.
And you don't have to work at Whole Foods.
It's not like a prerequisite.
It was just some lady I liked there.
Yeah.
You could be anything.
All right, well good.
Now after this appearance, you're
going to get even more, because now people know that you don't
have to work at Whole Foods.
I think we were limiting your base.
So now we know that you'll date someone--
even the name doesn't have to start with an M.
No, no, and if you're my cousin, I don't have any money.
OK.
All right.
Hey, we have to take a break, Michael, but when we come back,
I'm going to talk to you some more.
But that's not a bobcat.
OK.
It's definitely a bobcat.
No, it's not.
All right, we'll be back.
We're back with a very funny Michael Cheyt.
That's a clip from his new show on HBO Max,
it's called "That damn Michael Cheyt."
Very funny and very--
like that scene right there-- and then
you get stuck in the elevator with him for a long time.
Tell everybody what it's about.
Man, it's just kind of everything
that goes on in my head that they wouldn't let
me do on Saturday Night Live.
It's kind of fun.
You talk about some interesting topics that a lot of shows
don't bring up.
Yeah, kind of just wanted to write stuff
that I wanted to see.
And I like when it's kind of a little bit controversial,
I guess is the word?
Don't you hate describing comedies?
It feels so dirty.
Yeah.
I know what you mean, but it's very funny,
and if you like Michael Cheyt-- and who doesn't--
it's really funny.
So people should watch it, because it really
has some really great ideas and sketches and stuff like that.
Hey, since you've been here, you went
to Colin and Scarlet's wedding.
You were going to cause a scene.
You were going to stop the wedding, you said,
but you didn't.
They're married.
Yeah, I really wanted to interrupt and cause
a huge mess.
And then I got there, and it was like just a normal people
wedding.
Turns out they're actually normal, and it was sweet.
And I was like I can't miss this wedding up, and I just I just
let them have their day.
And then after the wedding, I saw Colin's parents,
and they were like, hey why didn't you ruin the wedding?
I thought you were going to ruin the wedding.
You said you were going to ruin the wedding.
Like you wanted me to?
They were like yeah, we were looking forward to it.
So now, I feel like maybe I dropped the ball.
Oh, that's a shame.
See?
I said I'd go with you, and we would have done it together.
I would have done it.
He's waiting for--
I messed up.
Yeah, yeah you did.
Colin said he's actually anxiously awaiting your gift.
Do you know-- do you have a gift for him?
I do.
Now I do.
I didn't.
I told them.
Like I warned them that I had a really, really bad gift
for them, and then he started getting frazzled.
And I think that makes him a better performer,
so I just keep this line going I have this crazy gift.
But now I feel like I got to do it
because I didn't ruin his wedding,
and I feel like I let him down.
So now I got to kind of ruin the marriage maybe.
Yeah, good for you.
I look forward to seeing that.
Elon Musk is hosting SNL this weekend.
Now that's very controversial, right?
How do you think that's going to go?
Well, I was all on board for it till I found out that--
did you know he's rich?
Yeah he's very-- turns out he's very rich.
Yeah, now I'm like against it.
Yeah.
I wish they would have told me that before.
Yeah, it's going to be interesting.
I like when people are--
it's cool that people care about who's on the show.
You know, I think that's what makes it kind of cool.
Show's going on 46 years, and people still
care about who's being booked.
I think that's kind of dope.
And Miley Cyrus is the performer.
That's going to be great.
She's always awesome.
Yeah.
She's been there, probably, as many times I've been there.
Feels like it's kind of like one of us.
Yeah, she's fantastic.
Can I just show you a picture of a bobcat before we go.
This is a bobcat.
That's a bobcat.
That was my cat.
My cat was a little bigger than that,
if you really put it side by side,
I think my cat might be a mountain lion actually.
No.
If you want to say it's a lion, maybe, I don't know.
Maybe it's a baby lion, but I'm pretty sure it's
a bobcat or a lynx at least.
Oh God.
I love you so much.
You're hilarious.
All episodes of "That damn Michael Cheyt
will be available tomorrow on HBO Max.
Great talking to you, Michael.
Thank you so much, Ellen, I can't
wait to get the coffee cup in the mail.
All right.
We'll send your underwear too.
We'll be back.
Hi, I'm Andy.
Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel
so you can see more awesome videos, like videos
of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things,
like ball peen hammer.
And also some videos of Ellen and other celebrities.
If you're into that sort of thing.
Ah!
God.