**SIurping Souds**
I actually really like that sound.
I'm Mattand I am team Whataburger.
I'm Callie and sometimes it's hard to describe the things that make life worth living like
love and art and beauty and Chick-fil-a. And I'm gonna try to do that today.
You're just supposed to say,
"I'm Calli and I'm team Chick-fil-a".
But it doesn't do it justice.
Like oh it's just love. That's just Picasso
You're talking about chicken sandwiches right now.
You're comparing chicken sandwiches to fine art.
I am.
I think we should also talk about the Chick-fil-a bathrooms because when I'm
on a road trip and I need to pull over. I sometimes look for Chick-fil-a's because
they're so clean and consistent. It's a great place to stop.
You're gonna be peeing your pants on Sunday then. True. True.
Christmas day, it can't be every day.
Your birthday isn't every day. Chick-fil-a isn't every day.
It's not a holiday. It's open six days a week.
It feels like a holiday.
So first of all Chick-fil-a invented the chicken sandwich.
I don't think that's true.
They don't even have the best chicken.
They have chicken strips, chicken nuggets, chicken
sandwiches, chicken minis. They have it all.
They have fruit cups, they have the superfood sides.
I'm so glad you brought up
this superfood side. It's kale. It's kale, it's broccolini, it's cranberry, it's
pecans, and they have this delicious dressing.
What the hell is a broccolini?
It's like tiny broccoli. They're making up vegetables at Chick-fil-a now.
Whataburger is the best southern fast food restaurant. It's great at everything.
Maybe I'm not in a burger mood that day. I can get the chicken fingers, Texas
Toast, the honey butter chicken biscuit. Chick-fil-a ain't got nothing on that.
And it's all delicious.
What makes a Whataburger better than a Burger King
burger? A McDonald's Burger?
Literally any other burger?
Whataburher is a is a Texas original.
It gives you Texas size portions.
I can get a wonder burger the size of my head.
There's just loaded with so much stuff it's just gonna get everywhere.
It's cause it's what a delicious, what a awesome, what a great argument?
Waffle fries
That's not a natural thing for potato.
They're beautiful. They're complex.
In the little holes they hold ketchup.
Whataburger fries all by themselves are
delicious but spicy ketchup is taking it
to a whole other level that nobody else in
the fast food game is doing.
Have you had Chick-fil-a sauce?
Nasty honey mustard.
Well if you don't like it that's okay because they have
Polynesian, they have barbecue.
That Polynesian is just pure sugar.
I love it! That's my favorite sauce!
You know what you what sauce you can get with your chicken fingers at
Whataburger? Gravy and there's a river of
it flowing in every Whataburger.
The variety and the quality of sauces-- you can't argue with Chick-fil-a.
That's why there's silence right now.
Chick-fil-a wins!
I can't even do sauces with you.
The Chick-fil-a employee, they're too nice. Something's wrong.
This is the South. Everybody's nice.
No. It's like they're pre-programmed and they can
only say like two or three things to me.
Like, "Welcome to Chick-fil-a" and "My Pleasure".
I'm worried that they might be brainwashed.
Do you know who won the
Glassdoor best place to work for 2018?
Of course you don't. It was Chick-fil-a.
These poor Chick-fil-a employee prisoners are out there in the blazing
hot sun with iPads now coming straight up to my truck and like hey what do you
want? And you know, but more like "Hello! !hat would you like?" and there's
somebody there whose sole purpose is to take the food from the window turn pivot
and hand it to me in the truck.
That's it.
Could you imagine a more convenient experience for you in that line?
The next best thing would be if someone
like actually held the chicken sandwich and slowly moved it to my mouth for me.
They get you through extremely fast and have to do that because so many people
love Chick-fil-a. Your other places throw it to you out the window and hope you
catch it. They don't throw it to me.
Well, because they know you can't catch.
Test me.
That was your fries and your burger.
What's great about Whataburger is it's
like these these tiny little cathedrals that have been built.
This is like the building here.
You're drawn to it like a magnet.
This is the most brilliant
marketing ploy in the history of maybe the world.
It's like the one joke they've
had and it's all they've got we're like oh that was that made people laugh let's
just use this until the end of time.
When it works it works. It's more brilliant
than anything you've ever said or done.
They just keep crossing out things and
saying chicken. They can't even spell right.
Neither can you, That doesn't mean that
you're any less creative and wonderful.
You know I have problems spelling.
So another great thing
about Whataburger is the hours. 24 hours a day.
Just wide open it's like this
beautiful orange friend that you see as you're driving down the interstate.
I think it's the friend that's the bad influence, the one that's like hey let's
go out at 2:00 a.m.
If my friends like hey it's 2:00 a.m. Let's go get some
burgers, cover some chicken fingers with gravy, maybe drink spicy ketchup straight
from the container. Yes, weird friend at 2:00 a.m. I'm there.
That sounds like the
greatest friendship ever.
Which, by the way, thank you for moving Back Porch Bickering
into your double-wide.
You're welcome.
Cheers to waffle frie.
Cheers to really
good food that you don't have to bathe in 10 different sauces.
I would bathe in this sauce.
Don't put that on air.