Hello, this is Mr. Sato
and I'm going to help with your college application essay.
No pressure or anything, but along with your last will and testament,
the college application essay is probably
one of the most important compositions you will ever write.
How important is the essay?
That depends on what kind of student you are. You probably fall into one of
the following three categories.
If you're the kind of student who's in the 95% percentile on the SAT,
your grade-point-average is a 4.0 and you have
an impressive list of activities and leadership positions, then
the essay might be a little less important for you.
The college may already have decided they want you;
all you can do in your essay is blow it by coming off like a personality-free
grade-seeking robot. You can now stop watching this video and go back to
annotating the complete works of William Thackeray.
But most students fall into that gray area in the middle.
If this is you, I want you to imagine that the person reading your essay
will be comparing you to 99 other applicants who, on paper,
have all the same qualifications as you;
the same test scores, the same GPA, the same favorable
teacher recommendations, maybe one or two
extracurricular activities. Your essay is what will set you apart from
the other 99. Let's call this student Doris. Her college essay is absolutely
crucial to Doris.
It could very well determine whether or not she gets accepted.
Or maybe you're a lackluster student with poor grades and no extracurricular activities.
Let's call this student Jane. The college or university usually admits a few students
with weaker qualifications to give a break to students who stand out
in some non-academic way,
who look like they might really do something special if given the chance.
Jane might bring something interesting and valuable to the school.
She might be a deep thinker who has made some mistakes
or has had some bad luck, like family problems.
Or maybe nearly all of the students at the university are the same --homogeneous--
in some way, culturally, racially, economically--
and Jane would bring a perspective to class discussions
and study groups that others won't have. The university wants that,
not out of generosity, but to create a lively intellectual environment
where not everyone sees through the same cultural lens.
So that could be Jane's chance.
You already know most of what you need to know. Things you've already learned in
your English classes about essay writing apply to your
college application essay as well:
organize effectively, write with personality and emotional commitment
(what we call voice), use vivid word choices, and
proofread your work for conventions errors. Sound familiar?
And here's the best single piece of advice I can give you:
start early, so that you can revise
thoroughly and meaningfully. If you're a
chronic procrastinator, make yourself start early so you can
write more than a single draft. If you think you "write best under
pressure," don't kid yourself. Give yourself the time to do your best work.
So let's talk about organization.
You've probably written several essays for school. And your teacher, I would hope,
will have talked to you about how to organize an essay.
But if you, like Jane were busy watching
funny cat videos that day, let me refresh your memory.
Begin with an attention-getting intro, or hook. You can look at my video on hooks
as well. Then include or imply your thesis, the main point of your essay, which
in this case is, "you should admit me to your school."
The body of your essay will show the reader why you should be admitted.
Don't talk a lot about things already in your application.
They already know those things and need a human face
to put on your GPA, your SAT or ACT scores, your school activities, etc.
Instead, the body of your essay should make clear that you are a real human being, not
just some phony trying to tell them what they want to hear.
And that if they give you the opportunity
to get an education at their college or university, you'll go out into the world
after graduation and do meaningful things with it.
Your conclusion should be concise; don't ramble on after you've made your point.
It wouldn't be a bad idea to directly say
that you hope they'll give you the opportunity to show them
what you can do, or something like that.
I made a whole other video on essay organization, so consider watching that
for more detailed information.
Next, Voice.
What we call voice is basically two things: a sense of your personality and
emotional commitment.
In your college essay, it's hugely important to convey a sense of
who you are through your words.
Your essay, as I've said, is the human face on your application; the reader wants
to get to know you, so convey personality and an awareness that you are
communicating with another human being.
One way to do this is to anticipate your reader's
questions and answer them.
Let's say you were writing about your hobby, chainsaw juggling.
Anticipate your reader's questions, with something like this:
"Now, you're probably wondering what kind of bonehead would juggle chainsaws, but like
anything else in life, the risks are minimal if you know what you're doing."
Use of personal pronouns like "I, me, my, you, and your" are perfectly appropriate in
this kind of essay. Also, it's OK to use informal words and colloquial phrases
so that you convey a sense of your personality.
Just remember: a little goes a long way.
The second aspect of voice, emotional commitment, simply means
that you are interested in what you're saying,
that you're saying something you actually care about. Don't be afraid to
write with passion or intensity. Writing on auto-pilot is the quickest way to sound
generic and boring.
What, other than yourself, do you really care about? Think about what
you really want to say and then say it like you mean it.
A former vice-chancellor of admissions at the University of Denver said in a Denver
Post article that applicants shouldn't exaggerate either. Most readers can tell
if you're stretching the truth when you say that that the death of your second-cousin's
stepfather's uncle caused you to fail Geometry.
Part of voice is authenticity, so keep it real; be sincere.
Think about what kind of person you are. An admissions director at
Texas Christian University said in the Arizona Daily Star that if you're a serious person,
you should write a serious essay. If you're funny, write a funny essay. And I think if
you're laid-back, you can be a little laid-back, but also let it peek out that there's something
other than your high score in a video game that you really care about. Be yourself,
but be your best self.
Word Choice means using interesting, striking phrases,
that sound good when read out loud.
Be specific. Don't say, "My friend and I grew apart and that made me really sad."
Say, "When I finished talking, my friend looked at me blankly,
waiting for the punch line, and I realized that she didn't understand me,
that despite our many years together, we were still
strangers, that all of us are essentially castaways on separate deserted islands."
Use of metaphors and similes can really add flavor to a bland piece of writing.
On the other hand, don't use words you don't understand.
I call this thesaurus-itis. It means overusing a thesaurus to replace
small words with big ones. Don't do this. It makes you sound dumber,
not smarter, because you probably aren't using all of those words correctly,
and it makes you sound ridiculous.
It should go without saying, though I know from experience that it doesn't, that you
should thoroughly check and recheck your writing for conventions errors:
spelling, punctuation, capitalization,
any format requirements the university may have specified. After you've
checked your essay, have someone else check it, and by "someone else,"
I don't mean your computer's spell-check.
While you're at it, why not confer with a skilled essay writer? You can.
Just find some well-written essays and read them.
Get some ideas for different ways you can sound, different tones,
and different techniques for achieving certain effects.
They don't have to be college application essays.
I recommend the Best American Essays series. Ask your librarian about those.
And when you read them, notice how each writer has his or her own
personality. Notice how good writers show, rather than tell.
That means that if Doris -- remember Doris?--- is telling
a story about how her family's car broke down in the middle of the desert, she
shouldn't just tell us that and stop there. She should also make us see the desert.
Make us see what she sees, and feel what she feels.
She might describe the surrounding desert, put in some details about
the physical process of getting help or helping her parent fix the car,
as well as -importantly- her thoughts and feelings while all of this is going on,
all of which will be revealing to the reader that Doris has qualities that makes her
more interesting than those other 99 applicants.
Now, most application essay prompts are pretty standard and open-ended,
like: "Write a personal statement that gives us a sense of you as an individual."
-- that sort of thing. But some colleges
ask really strange questions like, "How do you feel about Wednesday?"
Or how about this one?
Don't let these kinds of questions throw you off. They're still just trying to get
a sense of who you are and how you think.
Answer the question in the spirit in which it was asked,
in a creative and original way. And along the way, make them conclude
--without actually saying it--
that you are a student they really, really want attending their school. When it
comes down to it, those wacky application prompts are really
not that different from the more ordinary ones.
Finally, don't be afraid to ask for help. Talk to your school counselor and visit your
local public library. Look up articles about college application essays
in newspapers and magazines.
See if your local library has a database of news articles, like ProQuest.
And, when you have a draft, don't be afraid to ask parents and teachers
to read your essay and give you constructive feedback.
But remember, no article, book, video, or school counselor can write your essay
for you. It's something that only you could create from your life history,
your personality, and your imagination.
So, I've given you eight tips: 1) start early; don't wait until the last minute.
2) Organize effectively; you can check out my video on how to organize an essay.
3) Write with personality and emotional commitment.
4) use specific, interesting word choices, 5) check for conventions errors.
6) Also, read some good essays.
7) read articles about college application essays,
and 8) get some constructive criticism.
Follow those 8 tips and you'll improve your odds of getting that acceptance letter.
Good luck.