- How old are you young man? You.
- [Man In Crowd] 24.
- 24? You don't know shit.
(audience laughing)
You don't know shit!
You gotta Google shit that I've lived through.
(audience laughing)
See this is why I lock mother fuckers phones up, seriously.
Cause the young kids, you guys look,
you need to take a break from that tech,
we all need a break just from that technology.
Just for a minute.
(audience cheering)
You know, I'm from a different time, young man,
a dark time to you.
(audience laughing)
I'm from a time that I didn't even used to know
who was on the phone until I answered the shit.
(audience laughing)
Like when tragedy used to strike.
I remember when I was 12 years old
and the teacher wheeled the television set
into the classroom.
Remember these days?
(audience cheering)
And she turned it on to one of three channels,
and she said,
class the space shuttle is taking off
and we're all going to watch it take off.
Man, that shit was going great
for like three to five minutes.
That's right, you remember.
It fucking exploded!
(audience laughing)
Right on television!
Everybody on board dead, immediately presumed dead.
It was so bad the teacher looked at all the kids was like,
(audience laughing)
you can go home.
(audience laughing)
It's a goddamned national tragedy.
This was Cold War America.
The Russians were laughing at us.
My point is for a guy your age
wouldn't even know the pain because in your generation
it's like the space shuttle blows up every fucking day.
How can you care about anything,
when you know every goddamned thing?
I'm getting over one cop shooting,
and then another one happens,
and then another one happens.
and another one happens.
I'm crying about Paris and then Brussels happens,
I can't keep track of all this shit,
so you just give the fuck up.
That's the hallmark of your generation.
And that's fucked up because your generation
lives in the most difficult time in human history.
This is the age
of spin.
The age where nobody knows
what the fuck they even looking at.
Did you know that Planned Parenthood was for abortions,
it's for people that don't plan things out at all.
(audience laughing)
That's right.
So a guy your age doesn't really know how he feels.
Are you pro-choice?
Are you anti-consequences?
What does it all really mean?
(audience laughing)
It's easier not to care for you,
but for us,
we were trained to care.
We were raised that way.
I used to watch a fucking cartoon when I was growing up,
called The Care Bears.
(audience laughing)
It was about a fucking group of teddy bear people.
They were like teddy bears, but they were like people
and they were all different colors
and they all fucking just walked around caring.
They cared about each other and everything else.
They all had different designs on their stomachs
and the designs told you something about
what they might be like inside.
(audience laughing)
Very, very, loving group of beings.
And when shit got real bad,
as nice as those teddy bears were,
they didn't get mean faces,
they got determined.
And the leader would say,
come on guys,
it's time for the Care Bear...
STARE!
Remember that shit?
(audience cheering)
And them little teddy bears would lock arms,
and stare at the problem,
and I'm not even bullshitting,
actual love would shoot out of their chests,
(audience laughing)
and would dispel anything that was fucked up.
And when we grew up we wanted to be like those bears.
And then we got our hearts broken because we found out
that life wasn't gonna let us do that.
And that it's impossible to shoot love out of your chest.
However, I have shot love onto somebody's chest before.
(audience laughing)
I do it all the time.
It's the next best thing.
(funky music)