Hi.
[APPLAUSE]
Hi.
[APPLAUSE]
I love in this special, and I'm assuming
that was ad lib when the woman was snapping
and you called her out on it.
That was hilarious.
Yes, I love wonderful woke white people.
[LAUGHTER]
And so I was like, we have to talk about this.
P.S. Thank you so much for having me.
You are the Oprah of comedians.
And I am so thankful.
Oh, thank you, Michelle.
You're so sweet.
You're really, really funny, but that moment--
because you always look for things that you can tell
that you just off the cuff.
You just went off the cuff and it
was really funny, really smart.
And it was just nominated for a Critics' Choice Award.
Congratulations on that.
[APPLAUSE]
Thank you.
I'm just glad that people watched
it and I'm not canceled.
[LAUGHTER]
Let's be honest.
[LAUGHTER]
No, people did watch it and it's really funny.
What have you been doing during quarantine?
Oh, man.
Besides trying to get along with my husband and myself,
we have a two-year-old twins, and I
realized that I have a hankering for matching outfits.
It's who I am now.
[LAUGHTER]
And a lot of t-shirts, a lot of sassy sayings,
like to cute but two and matching pajamas.
I mean, I love it so much.
[LAUGHTER]
Look at that.
Oh, not those pictures!
[LAUGHTER]
Come on.
Yes.
Are your twins-- are your twins boys, girls, boy, and a girl?
I mean, boy and girl until they tell me otherwise, yes.
[LAUGHTER]
All right, boy and girl.
And how in the world you have two-year-old twins
and write a book?
How did you do that?
You know what, that is a good question.
I don't know.
I thought I'd have time when they're napping
and that wasn't the case.
I thought I was going to be in some villa in the South
of France overlooking the Mediterranean like eating
a paella just writing very smart stuff.
And it was not that, honey.
I missed a couple of deadlines.
[LAUGHTER]
I was riding in the backseat of a taxi in between shows.
Everyone's like, what are you doing?
I'm like, writing a book.
They're like, all right, sweetie.
[LAUGHTER]
So yeah, I pulled it together.
I don't know how.
You did pull it together.
And the two-year-olds, how are they doing?
I guess, that's the age that's not
quite as bad during this COVID because I
feel so bad for all the kids that aren't able to socialize.
How did you celebrate their birthday
and what are they doing to keep busy?
I really just had to keep it simple.
And I had a day planned, where we could go to the playground.
And in quarantine, it's like, now we're
in this corner of the house, now we're
in that corner of the house.
[LAUGHTER]
But the main thing was I was just a very nice person
all day.
[LAUGHTER]
That was their birthday gift, that I wasn't that tired mom.
[LAUGHTER]
Because when they get into it, I'm like, gentle!
You have to be gentle.
And I'm saying gentle in the most ungentle way.
[LAUGHTER]
So I was very mindful to be just nice.
[LAUGHTER]
Yes, screaming gentle is not that--
be nice!
[LAUGHTER]
And so you just finished a movie as you talk
about in the special with J.Lo.
I mean, you're doing so well.
Congratulations on everything.
[APPLAUSE]
Thank you.
Yeah.
And working with J.Lo is amazing.
She's like a walking athlete that can dance in cropped tops.
And it's so hard pretending I don't know everything
about her.
Like, one night, I just showed up so tired to set,
and she's like, didn't you sleep?
I'm like, I have twins, boy, girl twins.
She's like, so do I. I'm like, you do?
[LAUGHTER]
I didn't know that.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, yeah, it's hard to pretend you don't know everything
about her, everybody knows.
So tell everybody about the book.
Because it's funny, and then you also
talk about some very serious things in here.
Sure.
Well, Survival of the Thickest is plus sized essays
in a small minded world.
Ow.
And I talk about body positivity,
growing up thick, and light skinned, and Catholic,
in Jersey, my journey to stand up.
And also, I get into a lot of the infertility, IVF,
surrogacy of it all because my husband
and I did welcome our twins through surrogacy.
And I think a lot of people are suffering silently
with whatever they want in their life.
And it doesn't happen for them, especially when
something happens to your body.
You don't know anything about your body
till something goes wrong, like your car.
I'm bad at examples.
Give me a minute.
[LAUGHTER]
And so I thought, wow, I have a lot of friends,
I have this platform on stage, where
I could talk to anybody about anything,
and yet somehow I still feel lonely.
And that's me.
And so it's all about taking back the night
or taking black the night.
Ow--
[LAUGHTER]
--and sharing your story, so not only do you feel less lonely,
you can educate through love.
Yeah, the book is good.
You're a good.
Netflix special is so funny and so smart.
I highly recommend it.
And the book is called Survival of the Thickest.
It's available now.
We'll be back.
Thank you so much, Michelle.