- This is my honest love advice
for people who consider themselves to be empaths.
This is gonna completely transform your life,
help you understand your own energy,
your own love life in a completely new way.
And I'm gonna show you how to completely transform it
so that you start to get more magnetic than ever before.
So you start to feel safe in your own frame,
and you start to really live according to your own credo.
This changes everything.
Now, first off, let's look at this right here
to understand the role of empathy,
maybe why you've became an empath,
and what blocks you might have
when it comes to attracting love,
and how you can honestly bring the energy back.
And this is honestly gonna be brutally honest.
I've said honest like three times now.
This'll be brutally honest advice for you too.
Stuff that isn't hard to hear,
but you might realize it's true if you look at it.
So most likely, if you're an empath
something that you may do, you may find yourself doing
is you may attract people that have a strong sense
of what is called frame.
A strong sense of frame means
that it's someone that may be be very opinionated,
somebody who really has strong preferences.
The extreme side of this is someone who's a narcissist,
who it's all about me, me, me.
And in a weird way, somebody that has that perspective,
there's something a lot of times the empaths
that attract them to that energy.
And there's a reason for that.
And I'm gonna be sharing that in this video.
Now what happens is when we are in an energy state
where we are tuning to other people,
our energy is being diluted, it's being projected at people.
And what happens is there's also a, in a way,
a lack of boundaries.
There's a very fluid energy that's tuning
to the environment to try to create a sense of safety.
So think of it like this.
People that are empaths, their energy is going out.
Being an empath means you can feel other people's energies.
And normally one of the reasons this is in place
is because in the past there was a moment as a kid
where you didn't feel safe
or you had to tune to mom, dad, or the environment
in order to like make sure everything was good.
Make sure mom's okay, dad's okay, siblings are okay
so that you could feel safe.
So it became a survival mechanism to tune to other people.
Like for me, I can clearly see
that I had the narcissistic ex-stepmom.
If I wasn't super in tune with how she was showing up
or what she was doing, then it could be pain.
I would have to constantly tune myself
to know is it safe, is it not safe?
Am I good enough?
Am I in trouble?
Am I not in trouble?
Because I'd be in trouble
for like the most ridiculous things.
I'd be in trouble if I left like a dust pan
in like a certain part of the closet or some shit.
So it's constant like, am I safe?
Am I safe?
Tune, tune, tune, tune.
And then later on it makes it hard in dating
because I'm tuning to the feminine,
I'm tuning and then they're not feeling safe.
It's something I had to learn to transform.
That's what we're talking about in this video.
And here's the thing, tuning to other.
Now sometimes then I'd also attract people
that had a very strong sense of self.
There's these two aspects, there's other and there's self.
Now what happens is if we're always tuned to other,
we're also tuned to like, what do people think of me?
Is it safe?
And we're tuned to like feeling safe
if everything on the outside is a certain way.
Now self, these are people.
The healthy side of that is these are people
that have a healthy self-esteem,
that are doing what they want in their life,
that are focused and have a certain like moral compass
that they have within themselves.
And the extreme other side of this, of course
is the extreme side of this is narcissism.
It's all about me, me, me, me, feed me
and narcissist what they do to get their needs met
is they manipulate their environment
and they get everything and they gaslight people
to get everything and all the attention put towards them.
And that's why they normally attract empaths
because empaths are focused on other
and they're willing to give them that energy.
And it's like they both get their needs met.
They want somebody that feels like they're
in their strong frame because they're attracted to that.
Because normally mom or dad had that kind of energy
so one of them or somehow,
and they tune to that and that helps them feel safe
and then they feel safe in someone else's frame.
Whereas this person feels safe
when someone else is feeding their frame
because that's what they need.
That's like their core wound if as narcissism.
Now, the thing to learn about this though
and the honest love advice for empaths
is understanding that this empath ability that you have
can be a superpower
because you're probably a very good listener.
You're probably very good at feeling other people,
but at the same time, it can be a curse
if it's used in the wrong way
because there's a shadow side of this
to where you're always tuning to other people.
There's a shadow side to this to where it's like
what do you, it's like you're always tuning
to see if it's safe and the power.
One of the most powerful things I ever learned
was how to bring the energy back inside of my own body.
That's why the frame technique I always recommend,
it's one of the most powerful transformative processes
I've ever found.
It's called the frame technique.
It's very simple.
You literally bring the energy back into your hands.
You bring the energy back into your feet.
And what this helps you to do is this helps you
to feel more safe in your own body.
And it also helps you to understand more about who you are.
Because a lot of times people that are empaths
they have an abandonment wound where they felt abandoned
either emotionally or physically growing up.
And they said it's not safe for me
to be myself and to be safe in my own body.
So what they do is they energetically in a way
leave their bottom chakras
and they tune to their third eye
and then they can tune to everybody else.
They know what everybody else is thinking,
they how everybody else feels,
and then they're moving through life
kind of like a leaf in the wind
tuning to whatever they feel like they need to do.
And the key is bringing the energy from the third eye
back into the body to ask, how do I feel?
Now, the frame technique is also a way
where what you do is you feel the separation
between you and the walls, like me and the camera,
you in the phone, or the video, the TV,
or however you're watching this, you feel the separation.
When you put the awareness on the separation,
there's a safety you can feel inside of your own body.
This is a technique by the way that I've done,
gone out in public.
And you will notice an insane amount of people respond
to you very differently
because when your energy's in your body, you are magnetic.
The electromagnetic energy of the heart
is thousands of times more powerful than that of the head.
And let me say that again, electromagnetic.
The electromagnetic energy of your heart
is so much more powerful than the head.
So when you bring the energy back into your body,
you're bringing that magnetic energy
back inside of yourself.
And when you then realize where like the people
that have the abandonment wound,
they tune to everyone else,
they want everyone else to be happy.
And what they end up doing in the process
is they end up abandoning themselves.
They abandon themselves,
they abandon their own sense of wellbeing,
their own sense of happiness, what they actually want to do.
Oh, you wanna go out to this place
and and I can't say no to that
even though I don't really want to go
because I don't wanna disappoint you
because your disappointment is my disappointment
because I'm tuning to you to be happy.
So instead it's about realizing,
wait that's your shit, not mine.
If you don't like the fact that I don't want to go
to this crazy karaoke bar
where it's yelling, there's so much noise,
then that's your shit, not mine.
I don't have the energy for it
and I have to focus on something else.
That's where you can really separate yourself
and realize it's almost,
it's not like you're shrinking your own energy field,
you're bringing it back in
and you're at you're tuning in with yourself
before you do something.
What do I wanna do?
Doesn't mean you're a narcissist
and you only do whatever you wanna do ever,
but it means there's a balance here.
You tune to yourself instead of just saying yes
because you feel like you have to.
It's about realizing the energy.
And I will tell you as well or share with you
that the more I brought the energy into my own heart
and I made the choice to open my own heart
and I stopped judging myself,
and I started living according to my own like credo in a way
like my own values, that changed everything.
I started living according to the values
of vulnerability and authenticity
instead of the values of validation and approval,
which is what I was seeking before.
I valued that because I was seeking outside of myself
the other validation and approval
because I didn't feel it on the inside.
So what I ended up doing is I ended up realizing,
wait I'm gonna live according
to the values of vulnerability,
sharing the real me, even if some people don't like it.
Even if it means that they have a process about it.
Authenticity, what is the most authentic version of me?
And that meant setting boundaries,
that meant sharing with people my true emotions.
That meant if I'm dating someone telling them
that I have feelings for them.
And every time I did something like this,
it reaped positive benefit.
And it has, it comes from like a a place
of more groundedness, a place of more energy,
and understanding that when you stop abandoning yourself,
you're way more magnetic.
And then also what you can begin to do is create safety
within your own body.
And as you do that you start living
according to your own vision.
It creates a sense of gravity.
It creates a sense of like a new direction.
And what you do is by doing that,
you create this magnetic energy from the inside out.
So now I'm much more clear on my vision.
I'm much more clear on who I am.
I'm much more clear of what's okay, what's not okay.
A lot of times empaths don't know where that line is.
What's okay for people to treat you?
What's not okay for people to treat you?
You know what's funny?
People that are narcissists
that are the extreme side of this,
the reason they attract empaths
is because empaths actually put up with their bullshit.
Because they don't know what's okay, what's not okay.
If they meet a regular person
that has a healthy attachment style,
that is aware of like oh wait,
you want me to like feed your gaslighting me?
They say fuck that.
I'm not putting up with that.
And they walk away.
I've shared this story before,
but my old manager working at Nordstrom's
in women's shoes.
Every one of the 13 people in the department,
she would talk down to, she would gaslight,
and she'd get away with it
'cause she was protected by upper management.
One time this guy named Roland comes in,
he works there for two weeks.
She starts talking down to him,
she starts belittling him, and he goes, what the fuck?
He's like you don't talk to me like that.
Screw you.
And he walked out.
And he quit.
Why?
It wasn't okay that some narcissists
talked to him like that.
But for the other 13 people, we just allowed it.
We thought it was a part of the job.
You see?
So what changes everything is when you become aware
that energy within yourself, you bring the energy back
inside of your own body,
that helps you to create magnetic energy
from the inside out.
It changes absolutely everything.
Being in your own frame is a way of very much being magnetic
and is a way that changes your whole entire life.
Now, if you wanna learn a process,
I have a five to seven page PDF
that shows you step by step
how to get back in your own frame,
how to activate magnetic energy.
It's completely free.
It comes with a 45 minute training video
that shows you how to go through what is called the MAP,
the magnetic activation process.
Go to aarondoughty.com/map.
That's aarondoughty.com/map.
Check out that video, get activated magnetically.
And then also, if you are an empath
who absorbs negative energy,
I have one of the most powerful videos I've ever made.
It's got like 800,000 or a million views.
Check this video out right here.
It will change your life.
What I share with you in this video,
I believe is one of the most profound ideas
that has changed my life when it comes
to understanding what it means to be an empath.
And recently I was in a live Q and A
I was doing for one of my groups,
and I shared this idea and.