Even though we are dating it feels like it's one sided love
There are no love-confessions abroad
The steps you have to do in Japan are a pain
Hey guys meow on Ask Japanese this is your meow
flashy fashion reporter Cathy Cat and today we are gonna go hit the streets of Tokyo
and ask Japanese girls what they hate about dates here in Japan
Let's find out what they dont like maybe we can make the dates better in the future
And ask Japanese
Many boys are not pro-active here
In Japan?
Even if I approach a boy, I don't know if he is really interested in me
I don't quite understand Japanese boys
If you approach a boy, he might say ok but you won't know if he really likes you?
It worries me a lot
We are in the same classroom, but it is always me who goes to talk with him
And I am always the one who calls or writes messages
Must feel like this is a one-sided relationship
We are dating, but it feels like a one sided love.
That happens a lot
Has talking helped? like "hug me more"
I always say that
Did things change? - They did
Communication is key. How about you
The speed of replies is a pain. He tells me to answer faster but he is slow himself
You want him to reply faster too?
He wants me to hurry and reply, but he himself is a slow responder
That's just a hypocrite then - Right!
Is there something else that makes dating in Japan a pain?
Some boys are very calculating
Sometimes they try to make me say things to match their thoughts
They give off the vibe that they want me to say "I love you"
But then I do not feel like saying it anymore
So the pressure is to say 'I love you' and because of that you don't wanna say it anymore - Yes
Seems to me that girls and boys do not talk that much about these things
Many times people are just expected to read the room
That is quite common
Alright hold on switching in my brain right now - me too
Let me flip the Japanese language switch
I am half Japanese half american and live in Nagoya
Nagoya
I am half Japanese half French and live in Paris.
I am asking what makes dating a pain in Japan
Abroad there is no official 'love confession'
Abroad that is not a thing. Kind of weird.
The steps that lead to going out in Japan are a pain
I am the opposite
I was used to boys giving me an official "love confession" before going out.
I had a boyfriend in France
He didn't give me a love confession but in the end we were dating anyways
That is common abroad
Abroad you just read the atmosphere if you are dating
I might actually panic if someone gave me the Japanese 'love confession' speech
abroad it is more like "huh we are now going out?"
Abroad you can be dating for so long that it's kinda a given that you are now going out
But there is no open 'please go out with me'
That is right
You said the dating steps are a pain, what are they?
Japanese Boys who have lived abroad do get along with me much better
But if I date a foreigner, I also want my partner to understand Japanese culture too
It should be a boy who also tries to understand Japanese culture
If you were to date here in Japan, what is interesting about dating here
In France we don't have the Japanese stereotypical "aquarium date"
In France it is more common to have a coffee in a cafe
Abroad people don't straight go for dinners too
We just have a drink and talk¥
Special guest please introduce yourself
Can I talk about my channel? - go for it - I am Yuka from the Daniel and Yuka channel
We met by coincidence today
I am glad it worked out
What is a pain when dating a Japanese boy?
You might think there are a lot of people in Tokyo
But it is hard to become close with them
Even if half are boys and girls and your favourite gender
Here people are really busy and it is hard to meet others
And when its about dating, it is hard to make time to meet each other
That is what makes dating in Japan difficult - True
When you work in Tokyo, you do not have time to go on dates - Right
In Tokyo everyone works hard
When I lived in Tokyo I was wondering how it is so hard to meet people in such a crowded place
We are all too busy for love
Do we keep talking about dating Japanese boys?
If you have some experience in that
Japanese men... manly wise...
Many think they are the leader and the woman has to follow them
Recent boys however... they are ....
doing the washing or cooking
They have changed the traditional male stereotype that was in Japan
I think we are moving towards more equality
So I think dates are not that difficult anymore
But you are not dating a Japanese person. Tell us
My partner is from New Zealand
They are currently chatting
What is hard about dating foreigners
There are so many things
What I found out when dating my husband
What is common knowledge for me is not his
And what is common knowledge for him, is not for me as Japanese person
That is where I could really feel a culture shock
It is not like either of us is wrong, but we have different common practices
For example? - For example...
Japanese pedestrians wait, even when there are no cars at the traffic light
But my husband doesn't understand why he has to wait at the light even though there are no cars
In Japan, if nobody is watching, some cross
But generally Japanese people follow the rules a lot
Abroad people are more flexible
That is where our values are different.
Some things that are ok for you might not be for your partner and visa versa
Exactly that
In Japan we have honne and tatemae. Honne is truth
There are some things we will not say to people's faces
We also believe that some things do not have to be said straight out, depending on the person
But my husband will say things straight out because he wants to
These are some things that make it hard between cultures
Dating seems to be a pain in whichever country you go to
Lots of hard work
Questions do you know the video yet about different types of Japanese girls for example
The SNAKE GIRL where the director randomly pulled a real snake in. If you don't
If you don't then you haven't checked out... that video yet
Check out this video. We talk about the different types of...
girls that exist here in Japan and it might be good to know
in case you wanna go out with a Japanese girl maybe just check that one video and find out
Again there are a lot of different types of Japanese girls all around so
Be sure to check it and there is a lot of different stuff about dating on our channels
We have socials down below if you are fun and wanna find out about our twitch twitter internet...
Instagram, all the cool stuff we are doing it's down below
Thanks for hanging out, catch you soon on Ask Japanese bye