(Dr. Mario) Time-a for your physical!
Step on the scale, please
(Luigi) MAMA MIA!!
Epic Game Theory Theme!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello Internet.
Welcome to GAME THEORY!
Where you know what I've got myself a to-do list.
Over the last seven years of this show there have been
a lot of lingering mysteries. The story of FNAF,
will I ever do Mass Effect part two?
When will Diet Coke finally sponsor me?
And last episode?
I finally put one of those to rest
and it felt so good,
real good to get that monkey off my back.
I say monkey,
but really it was a haunted bear robot possessed by
a conglomeration of kids souls.
Anyway, even though it's the tail end of summer.
Let's continue our spring cleaning
and check another long-running mystery off this list
the height of everyone's favorite,
murderous sociopath Mario Jumpman Mario. Now,
you loyal theorists will know that
over the history of game theory.
It has been one of my biggest headaches.
Let's just say it was my version of
your princess is in another castle. Each time
I thought I had figured out
the perfect methodology to confirm Mario's height
Something else would pop up to contradict me
until you know, I just eventually gave up.
That's right, I don't give up too much on this channel.
But in this case, I realized I was beaten screwed
in the towel, simply going with the 5 foot 1 inch
155 centimeter cannon height claimed by Nintendo.
I just needed a height for all the physics episodes
and figured who is I to oppose the direct word of
Mr. Miyamoto. Now that I think about it
opposing official statements by Nintendo
is basically the premise of like a quarter of this channel.
Long story short, no games in the Mario franchise
has ever proven it.
No piece of evidence and all my research
has ever allowed me to confirm it. Nothing. Blank slate.
Nothing, at least until today. That's right loyal theorists,
It's time to get another monkey off my back
and this time it's an overweight red plummer monkey,
because seven years later, we finally have the clue
that we need to not just establish.
Mario's canon height,
but also the canon heights of literally
every other character in the Mushroom Kingdom.
Something that as I understand,
has never truly been done before,
so get ready to update those fan wikis,
because it's my goal to give you the definitive answer
that no one knew that they needed,
the scientifically proven heights and weights of the
key Mario characters and in the process we're gonna
uncover ourselves a threat to the Mushroom Kingdom
that is far larger and far more threatening than
another dumb Bowser kidnapping plot.
Earlier this year, Nintendo released a free update to
Super Mario Odyssey called Luigi's Balloon World.
Now show hands who hasn't heard of this thing?
Of course you haven't!!!!!
It came out in February for a game that
everyone had picked a shreds by the end of last
October, and for all the rest of you who have heard of it.
Well, you must-watch Dunkey.
Good stuff that Dunkey.
Anyway in this little mini game players are able
to hide balloons throughout the various kingdoms
in the game, other players
then try to find them within a certain time limit.
It's almost like Nintendo got tired of placing moons,
so they outsource it to the community.
I know what you're up to Nintendo. First,
you had us constructing your levels with Mario Maker,
Now you're having us place moons for you too?
Oh, we can't make games that are gonna satisfy
the entire fan base. Let them make it for themselves!!!
Actually, you know what?
That's a pretty damn brilliant idea.
Well done!!!! Nintendo. Well done!!!!! Anyway,
besides giving the world an image of
Luigi wearing a bowtie while searching for moons,
the game provides the current distance
between you and the
balloon! Nothing too special there
until you notice the distance is written in
meters, real world 'M', meters.
And how can we be sure about this?
Well by using this in-game ruler as a reference,
it's possible to use pixel measurements
to determine that Mario's height is in fact
5 feet 1 inch or 1 meter and 55 centimeters.
Not only is this a confirmation of Mario's canon height
that we've been using for the past two years,
but it was determined through a mainline Mario game.
This isn't us factoring in the weird scaling of
Super Smash Brothers Brawl or
that time I used Mario's cameo in NBA Street.
This is an actual Mario platformer, which in all
of my research is the first time that
Nintendo has gone out of their way
to do something that could possibly confirm
a statistic like this. It would have been
so easy for them to make up a fake unit and call it a day.
But no! Not only was the distance
written with a real-life unit, but the scale lines up
perfectly with Mario's Nintendo certified canon heights.
This, ladies gentleman was intentional.
Someone or some group within Nintendo
wanted us to find this out and give us the confirmation
we've been asking for years, and you know what
makes that even more interesting?
A few years ago on this channel to cover how Rosalina,
first introduced in Super Mario Galaxy,
is probably Princess Peach's daughter.
I use genetics, physics or to this day.
It's the theory I list as one of my all-time
favorites I've ever done on this channel.
I love it so much these many years later
that I even included a mention of it
in the theorist journal. Part of the new
merch collection that I launched last week , on sale
now. Act fast because supplies are limited.
Woo! There's a hidden mystery inside of the merch,
click the link in the description or at the end of video,
to grab your theorists gear before it's gone.
Look smart. Be smart.
Theory wear. Now all chilling aside.
What started me down the rabbit hole of
that theory to begin with was a story book hidden in
Super Mario Galaxy, that seemed to heavily suggest
that Rosalina was more than what she seemed.
It is, to this day the single largest
place of Mario in-game lore,
a bit of lore that was never meant to actually be
in the game in the first place.
The game's director wrote it late at night
when no one was around.
So no one would know what was in it.
Then he pitched it specifically to Mr. Miyamoto
to try and get it squeezed into game.
That man was Yoshiaki Kazumi,
director of Mario Galaxy and wouldn't you know it?
Lead producer of Super Mario Odyssey. In short, it looks
like us theorists may have an Inside Man at Nintendo.
Someone who's starting to seed out stuff for us to latch
on to when it comes to the lore of the Mario universe.
Seeing by that I'll be paying close attention to what
Koizumi brings us in the future. Anyway,
armed with the information from Luigi's Balloon World,
we can now use pixel measurements of all the character
models to compare the to the ruler
that is Mario Jumpman Mario.
We start by getting official ripped models
from the game, many of which can be found
on The Models Resource.
Now, if you've never been there and are in any way
interested in learning about game artwork,
3D modeling, sprite work textures, whatever
the VG resource is an incredible community.
From there, We drop those 3d models into a program
named Blender.
It's free, open-source 3D computer graphics software,
used for everything from
animating films and visual effects.
And of course, creating video games.
Mario Kart Wii believe it or not was the best game
to get all these characters into the same place,
so we can compare like with like.
Though I will say that I did double-check that those
measurements were similar across
other games as well including Mario Galaxy,
Mario Party and Mario Sports Mix.
So now that you know how it was all done,
let's go through the results.
Luigi, Wario and Yoshi all measured up at
5 foot 9 inches tall. 175 centimeters.
Peach and Daisy towered above the boys at
6 foot tall, 183 centimeters,
as long as you don't count their crowns.
Rosalina is even bigger at 7 foot 3 inches or 221
centimeters. But surprising nobody, Waluigi is the tallest.
Standing at the absolute ridiculous height of
7 foot 7 inches or 231 centimeters. So maybe that's why
Waluigi can't be included in Smash.
We heard that Ridley was too big for years.
But let's face it.
Wauigi is just enormous. At that height, he's bigger than
Yao Ming, one of the tallest NBA players ever, who stood
at 7 foot 6 inches. And yet for as big as Waluigi is,
he's still nowhere close to the tallest
human in recorded history, Robert Wadlow, the giant of
Illinois, who stood at the incredible height of
8 foot 11 inches, or 272 centimeters.
That's like a refrigerator and a half.
Oh, and in this list,
you might be noticing one BIG omission.
Both literally and figuratively, Bowser.
Yeah, I didn't include him simply because
he changes heights a lot.
I mean, a lot, A LOT!
This guy changes heights more frequently
than I change the order of my FNAF timelines.
Anyway, I thought about ending this episode here.
We've had a lot of long episodes lately.
I have a new child to worry about.
The in-laws are currently visiting and
I should probably spend some time with them,
but you know what?
I'm not gonna leave you hanging.
I mean seriously,
this would be a pretty lame episode.
Just giving you the heights of
a handful of Mushroom Kingdom characters.
Where's the big twist?
Where's the big reveal the surprise conclusion?
That's so what moment that
I'd like to end all these episodes on.
So I'm deciding to linger in the closet a bit longer,
which I swear has nothing to do with me,
trying to avoid talking to the in-laws about
the Italian Deli(very) down the street for like
the umpteenth time, just because it's an Italian deli
doesn't make it the best deli ever. I'm sorry.
So anyway, I'm hanging out in the closet
a bit longer to find everyone's weights too. And that
yielded something that was much more surprising. First,
let's talk about methodology. Now, obviously
unlike frame rates or pixel measurements,
there's no way to slow down a videogame
and perfectly determine the mass of a character.
However, back in my "Blue Shell" episode,
I mentioned that in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe that
each character was assigned an invisible number
that correspond to their weight.
Mario is listed with the weight of 6
and is known to have a mass of about
90 kilograms or about 198 pounds.
Therefore, each weight unit in the game was equal to
15 kilograms or 33 pounds.
This also checked out with the weight Ausitn calculated
in his SCIENCE video using a very different methodology
of water propulsion from Super Mario Sunshine.
So overall while it may not be 100% correct, you gotta
appreciate that It's pretty darn close for
the weight of a bunch of fictional characters who
only just now got associated with
a real-world metric for the first time in nearly 40 years!!!!
And yes. Before I start commenting,
(Internet's questation)" But Matpat, these ratings are incorrect!
Baby Peach and Baby Rosalina are listed with
a weight value of 0! Clearly they have mass,
this should not be possible!!! Unsubscribe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Yeah, I heard you in the aftermath of the previous video
and I recognize that a few of the racers are given
a mass of zero in the game's weight units.
But did you stop to consider this!
Each racer's mass is going to be rounded to
the nearest whole number.
So conceivably, a racer weighing in
under half of 33 pounds or 16 and a half pounds or 7.49
kilograms. Those racers would be rounded down
and rated as a zero.
And having a newborn weigh less than 16 pounds.
Take it from Daddy Pat over here.
That is perfectly normal. In fact,
you want to weigh in under 16 pounds?
Otherwise, they're gonna have a hard time squeezing
through the things they have to squeeze through to.
Birth is weird.
Anyway, is this methodology super precise? NO!
But until we're able to strap all the characters with
water jet packs surrounding like this
is what we're gonna have to work with.
So using this Mario Kart chart,
I was able to come up with a rough mass for everyone.
We just covered how Mario weighs in at 198 pounds
and his brother Luigi is the same. Sure, he's thinner but
he's also taller, meaning that he's also weighing
in at around 198 pounds, you know how you're never
supposed to ask a girl for her age or her weight?
But why ask when you can stalk her online
and use hidden measurements
kept on obscure websites. Peach is clocking in at
132 pounds or 60 kilograms.
Rosalina, may or may not be Peach's daughter, but she
certainly didn't inherit her mother's petite physique,
considering that our star princess here tips
the scales at 231 pounds or 105 kilograms.
Waluigi is a bit heavier at 264 pounds, 120 kilos, and
rounding out the top, literally and figuratively
to nobody's surprise is Wario at 330 pounds, 155
kilograms. Now, here's where that
information goes from mildly interesting to alarming.
You see, I was curious. So I decided to do one last
calculation. Each character's body mass Index or BMI?
All you have to do is to calculate it is take the person's
mass in kilograms and divide it
by the person's height in meters square. Now, why
I want to do this? Well, according to the Center for
for Disease Control, BMI scores are
indicators of your levels of fitness, so I wanted to
determine who was roughly the fittest in the Mushroom
Kingdom. Heck if the metric is good enough for Wii Fit,
It's good enough for me.
So a BMI score of less than 18.5 is considered
underweight. 18.5 to 25 is considered normal. BMI of
25 to 30 is considered overweight, 30 to 40 is
considered obese, and above 40 is morbidly obese,
and it's here that I discovered what is perhaps the
Mushroom Kingdom's biggest threat? No, it's not an
anthropomorphic turtle dragon with magical
abilities, trying to take over a kingdom.
It's not even the oblivious princess wielding an army of
mindless fungus service to maintain her rule. No!!!
The biggest threat to everyone in the Mushroom
Kingdom is their eating habits at their current weight.
According to their BMI ratings, every character is in an
unhealthy range. Daisy and Peach, underweight. Luigi,
over winked. Mario is obese. And Wario is morbidly
obese. No one has a healthy body type.
Well, no one except for one. Waluigi. (WAHA!!!)
You heard that right?
Everyone's favorite purple string being here
is in the healthy range, with a BMI of 22.1, he may have
been rejected by the Smash Brothers roster, but he
wasn't rejected by the Center for Disease Control.
And that ladies and gentlemen is Waluigi's big secret
and the mushroom kingdoms biggest dilemma.
Because, let's face it. If Waluigi's body shape is what
defines healthy in your universe, well then,
yeah. You got yourself some serious problems.
But hey, it's worth mentioning that Rosalina is healthy
too. It just wasn't as fun or dramatic to include her in
that big conclusion. But yeah, she's in there, too
Just she's not memes mesh. No, get memes,
Miss Rosalina. Take a page from Waluigi's book,
look at this guy is here's a walking hot mess but he is
endearing, meme king Waluigi:'All bow before me',
BUT HEY! Did you know that game theory merch is now available for all sorts of body shapes and
cannon heights. Extra small, extra extra extra large, and not just shirts either, but we've got an
incredible heavy-duty backpack, super fun socks that are like my favorite socks in my wardrobe right now because they're super bright,
they have a lot of personality,
they are also incredibly soft. A pop socket for your phone,
which is like the simplest best device that I've ever had on
electronic like ever. If you don't like any of the merchants that you see, BOOM!
We're also offering a theorist patch. Now anything can become game theory merch, kind of like the Nintendo strategy
You don't like what we're doing. Well, then do it yourself. Here you go. Make your jacket a Game Theory jacket.
Make your hat a Game Theory hat. Make your cat Game Theory cat
Disclaimer: Please do not staple or sew this patch on to your cat. (Notes: LOL!)
Collars would probably be best, and not only are you gonna be getting some of the
highest quality youtuber merch around. Trust me, we
care a lot about this stuff, and we bought a ton of other people's stuff to see how it comparison.
Let's just say, there's a lot of mad items out there this time.
It comes with a mystery, hidden amongst the merch is a
puzzle that you can solve. The first clue to start you on your quest is hidden in one or
multiple of these merch items. If you don't want to buy anything, while then no problem.
You can team up with friends online and you can still solve the puzzles.
In fact, the whole thing was designed to get you working together as a theorist community.
I thought that would be a really nice fun puzzle to bring us all together.
So check it out via the link in the description or the link that you see on the screen right now.
'creatorink.com/theory' where I personally challenge you to get the white shirt
I wanted to help brighten up gamer wardrobes which are always black.
So I added in a white shirt keeps currently the one that is not selling the best but I think looks great.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've hidden out in the closet way too long. Yeah, great Italian deli meats
Don't get me wrong Italian deli meat is delicious, but
its not a be all end all people. There are plenty of good restaurants around just saying ah, all right. I'm going.
You know, I can't leave Stephanie down there alone. Alright, I'll see you guys next week.