Teoh: Hi, I'm Teoh Calum: Hi I'm Calum
Beckii: Hi I'm Beckii Teoh: And this week over on the ChildLine
YouTube channel we're talking about heteronormativity
Teoh: Heteronormativy - bit of a hard thing
to get your head around but what does it mean to you?
Calum: I think first off, it's a really difficult word to say. Society as a whole sees heterosexuality
as the norm so whenever you look to the media, your favourite movie, your favourite tv show,
whatever it might be, you're always seeing two straight people on screen as the romance
and that goes into magazines, that goes into everyday life
Beckii: It's something that a lot of people don't actually think about as well, because
it is the norm you know, and people who maybe don't have issues with their sexuality have
never really thought outside of 'the norm' Teoh: So for guys that are a little bit effeminate,
and for girls that are a little more masculine, they can be affected by heteronormativy and
cisgendernormativity because it affects their world as well
Calum: We're brought up into a society where you're kind of expected to be cisgender, you're
expected to be heterosexual, and I think for the people that do identify in those ways,
they may not realise it's an issue Beckii: When you're young boys aren't allowed
to sleep over but girls are, but that just speaks to how deep rooted heteronormativity
is Calum: The easiest way I always find to understand
it is if you think about like children's movies - oh look, the prince marries the princess
and then suddenly you think oh but I don't want to marry a princess, maybe I want to
marry a prince, and then you feel just completely ostracised
Beckii: It's just little things that make you feel - yeah that's so true. It relates
to coming out as well, like why do people have to come out because not being straight
is other, kind of like a straight until proven otherwise world, you know what I mean?
Calum: Yeah, yeah it is Teoh: People do need to come out to feel the
acceptance they want, but for us to kind of get to a place where coming out isn't an issue,
heteronormativy needs to be challenged Beckii: Definitely
Teoh: A lot of people are ignorant to it, and only through talking about it do people
realise oh god, sometimes I do think of things in a heteronormative way
Beckii: I think it's a process that you kind of have to unlearn a lot of that behaviour
Teoh: So how can we challenge heteronormativity in day to day life?
Beckii: We can't assume anything about anyone's sexuality or gender based on how they look.
What you're making is just assumptions based on your kind of what you perceive as normal
Teoh: It seems really obvious try and not assume things about other people, but it's
not your fault if you do because it's so ingrained in us
Beckii: That's it Teoh: It's not a matter of oh you're a bad
person, it's more about going I don't know yet, we haven't had that discussion and just
keeping yourself in check Calum: Because you can't figure out if somebody's
gay by the way they walk, the way they talk, the way they act. Your sexuality simply means
like the person you're attracted to Teoh: Even gay people, even LGBTQ people should
challenge their own thought processes Beckii: Exactly
Calum: Absolutely. I was at a party recently and I remember I was talking to a girl and
I remember asking her like oh, do you have a boyfriend? And it didn't occur to me to
say do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? So even as a gay man, I have a heteronormative
way of thinking Teoh: It's also really important that you
can get to a point where you feel brave enough to challenge people outside because that's
the only way other people are really going to learn
Calum: If you're amongst friends and you hear someone say 'Oh that's so gay' or something
like that it's important to challenge that. But what I think is also important is that
never put yourself in a place of risk Beckii: And it doesn't have to be aggressive
either, you can very kindly say these things. You know a lot of people don't even realise
they're doing it Teoh: The playground thing of 'You're so gay'
I think we can talk about it being used as homophobic bullying, but a lot of young people
sometimes use it just out of ignorance and not even thinking
Beckii: Maybe you can suggest a better word which would fit in that situation, you know
Teoh: And another thing that's really important is supporting media representation
Calum: I get so happy and excited whenever I see a gay person, a bisexual person, a transgender
person. When I see them on screen, yes I love seeing this, this makes me feel great about
myself but then it's so few and far between Beckii: In recent kids shows like cartoons
and things, actually they're being written by some really cool people and they're writing
in non-heteronormative roles and things like that
Teoh: It isn't that there's a character that is gay, but there are no gender expectations
on the character and there's no sexuality expectations on the character and the stories
are written that way, and so as a young person growing up, it's normalised
Beckii: Something else important to think about is there's this kind of half way representation
you see, and it's kind of almost like queer bating, where you see these almost gay relationships
but they're never confirmed Calum: It's like they don't care about representation
and they're just using it as a gimmick, just something that makes it a little more edgy
Teoh: And now we'd like to hear from you - how can we encourage better representation of
a wider range of identities in the media and in society? Thanks for coming in Calum and
Beckii Calum: Thank you, my pleasure
Beckii: Thanks for having us Teoh: But for now, join us next week
All: Bye!