>>> SO I WAS ON A DATE WITH THIS GUY I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT, YOU
KNOW, KEANE. AND EVERYTHING WAS GOING FINE.
BUT THEN HE TELLS ME HIS LAST NAME IS PEEL.
>> OH MY GOSH. SO HIS NAME'S KEANE PEEL?
>> YES. >> LIKE THE SHOW?
THAT IS SO WEIRD. >> I KNOW.
I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE.
I HAD TO CUT THE DATE SHORT. >> WOW.
AND HE WAS ALMOST PERFECT. >> AM I CRAZY?
OR AM I BEING TOO PICKY? >> YEAH, YOU DEFINITELY ARE.
>> OKAY, YOU'RE DEFINITELY NOT. MEN ARE JUST SO WEIRD NOW.
OKAY, I MADE THE MISTAKE OF MAKING SMALL TALK WITH A CUTE
GUY ON THE SUBWAY. HE OFFERED TO GIVE ME A FOOT
MASSAGE. >> SERIOUSLY, WHAT THE HELL?
>> I TELL YOU WHAT, I WOULD HAVE TOOK THAT OFFER IN A HEART BEAT.
OKAY? A FRESH PAIR OF MITTS ON THESE
OLD DOGS IS A HECK OF A LOT BETTER THEN THE PENCIL ERASER I
USE NOW. >> I GUESS THAT IS A NICE
GESTURE. >> IT'S STILL GROSS.
>> I MEAN, I'M JUST COMING TO TERMS THAT I'LL PROBABLY BE
SINGLE FOR EVER. I MEAN, EVERY GUY IS EITHER SOME
MAN-CHILD LOSER -- >> OR SOME OVER-AGGRESSIVE
CREEP. >> I HEAR THAT.
AND WHY ARE THEY ALL CIRCUMCISED?
>> WHAT'S THAT? >> THE MEN NOW-A-DAYS, THEY'RE
ALL CIRCUMCISED. IT USED TO BE A CRAPSHOOT.
NOW EVERYBODY IS CUT, YOU KNOW? IT SEEMS TO ME, I'M NOT
COMPLAINING, I'LL TAKE A SHORT SLEEVE AS QUICK AS A TURTLE NECK
>> YEAH. THAT IS WEIRD.
>> OKAY, I'M SORRY. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
>> BUNNY. YEAH, SORRY TO BUTT IN.
I DON'T GET TO HAVE A LOT OF GIRL TALK CAUSE I GOT EIGHT
MALE ROOMMATES AND I'M A CHEF AT A PRISON.
>> YOU LADIES DOING ALL RIGHT? >> YOU KNOW WHAT, ACTUALLY, CAN
WE GET ANOTHER ROUND ON MY TAB? I'M DOING A WHISKEY MILK, OKAY.
AND I THINK THEY'RE DOING THE SAME.
>> WE'RE DEFINITELY NOT. >> THREE MARTINIS, PLEASE.
SO YOU WORK AROUND HERE BUNNY? >> NAH, I WAS ON A BLIND DATE.
YEAH, I WAS SUPPOSED TO FINALLY MEET THIS GUY I HAVE BEEN
CATFISHING. BUT HE DIDN'T SHOW.
>> YOU WERE CATFISHING HIM? >> YEA, I'LL GET A GUY TO DRIVE
A FEW STATES AWAY, YOU KNOW, TO MEET A JAPANESE BIKINI MODEL
NAMED KIKO. WHEN THEY GET HERE I SAY, "KIKO
IS GONE. BUT YOU CAN CRASH AT MY PLACE IF
YOU'RE INTERESTED." NEXT THING YOU KNOW BUNNY IS
MUNCHING ON CARROTS. >> THAT SOUNDS SO FUN.
I WISH I KNEW HOW TO TAKE MORE RISKS.
>> THAT SOUNDS DANGEROUS AND INSANE.
>> OH, WELL SORRY THE STRANGERS AREN'T OFFERING ME FOOT JOBS ON
PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION, OKAY? SOME OF US HAVE TO HUNT WITH
BAIT. >> OH MY GOD.
JAKE JUST TEXT ME AN EGGPLANT EMOJI AND A WINKY FACE.
>> NO WAY. >> HE'S SO GROSS.
>> JACKPOT, BABY! AND THEN THERE WERE THREE.
>> I SHOULD NOT ANSWER HIM, RIGHT?
>> OF COURSE YOU SHOULDN'T. >> DAMN, IF I GOT A TEXT LIKE
THAT, I'D KOOL-AID MAN STRAIGHT THROUGH THAT BRICK WALL SO FAST
THAT MY PANTS WOULD RIP OFF. AND BY THE TIME I'D GET TO HIS
FRONT DOOR, DING-DONG IT'S -- FULL BEEF.
>> JAKE IS PRETTY HOT TRISH, MAYBE YOU SHOULD ANSWER HIM.
>> YOU THINK SO? I MEAN, WE DID HAVE FUN
TOGETHER. >> WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO THIS
CRAZY LADY? >> BUNNY.
>> HAVE SOME SELF RESPECT. YOU CAN'T JUST BE THAT
DESPERATE. >> OH YEAH, YOU CAN.
AND YOU WILL WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY AGE.
>> AW, BUNNY. HOW OLD ARE YOU?
>> 27. >> I'M TEN YEARS OLDER THAN
THAT. >> LOOK, ALL I'M SAYING, IT'S
THE 90s. YOU KNOW?
LIFE IS SHORT. YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE
HIGH AND TIGHT FOREVER. MIGHT AS WELL GET OUR NUTS OFF
WHILE WE STILL CAN. >> IT'S 2018.
>> YEAH, YOU WISH. >> BUNNY, YOU'RE SO RIGHT.
I KNEW I WAS BEING UNREASONABLE. >> SHE IS DEFINITELY NOT RIGHT.
>> I'M GONNA CALL KEANE PEEL. TELL HIM I DON'T CARE ABOUT HIS
STUPID NAME ANYMORE. >> YEAH, I'M GOING TO GO BANG
JAKE. BYE, GIRL.
>>> AND THEN THERE WAS TWO. ANOTHER WHISKEY MILK.
>> HOW DO YOU EVEN DRINK THAT? >> WELL, IT GOES DOWN SMOOTH.
AND IT COMES OUT FIRING. >> EXCUSE ME.
DID YOU GUYS SEE A JAPANESE BIKINI MODEL NAMES KIKO HERE?
>> OH, HONEY, SHE JUST LEFT. BUT YOU CAN CRASH AT MY PLACE.
>> DAMN IT. WELL I DID DRIVE PRETTY FAR.
>> AND THEN THERE WAS ONE. YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET SOME BEEF,
BROTHER.