Today we continue our exploration of the heterosexual male.
I see nothing that could go wrong.
Hello underachievers!
Just an announcement before the video starts that might excite you if you like my music:
I am playing my first ever live show!
On July 31st at this festival.
I am absolutely terrified!
I am literally [ ] myself.
Even thinking about it makes me scared.
So it'd be really nice if maybe a few of you guys could come and like, sing my lyrics at me,
so I don't forget them because I will be screaming on the inside.
I'm playing new songs that you guys haven't heard.
I put the ticket link in the description,
so if you can afford it,
if you want to come hang out,
or just watch me try not to explode on stage.
We can do that.
So on to the video!
I am aware that this video is going to anger a few alpha males,
a few beta males, a few other males...
I don't know how many types of males there are,
but I know that a lot of you won't consider me a male,
which I'm sure really grinds some of your gears.
So, do we know what an alpha male is?
Personally,
not really.
Well, kind of, I can guess.
I think it's pretty self-explanatory.
I think it'll be useful for an alpha male to describe to you guys what an alpha male is.
I'm kidding, I have freshly painted nails.
They are... I did them myself, though.
I'm quite proud.
So let's look it up: What is an alpha male?
So the first thing that comes up when I ask Google is:
"An alpha male is a man who takes charge,
one who imposes his will on others,
not the other way around.
Other men want to be him, women want to be with him.
An alpha male intimidates,
he's unquestionably in charge,
no matter what the situation.
An alpha male is loud, brash, doesn't care what anybody else thinks".
Now, I don't know about you, ladies,
or non-binary people, or people that are just into men.
That, to me, sounds unattractive.
The words 'imposes' and 'intimidates', they are not...
They are not qualities I would look for in a guy.
I am sure that there's at least a small population of women that are into being intimidated.
That sounds horrible when it comes out of my mouth,
because I... Why?
We know why gender roles but, you know, I just...
There are some positive attributes that I can see in this, you know?
Like: "Doesn't care what anybody else thinks".
That can be a positive thing, it's cool to, you know, just be yourself.
But I feel like, when it comes in with the intimidation and the imposing,
and always having to be in charge...
I'm not a fan.
So that's what an alpha male is, apparently.
What's a beta male?
A beta male.
Sounds better.
'Better', it's in the name.
So Oxford Languages says:
"A beta male is a man tending to assume a passive
or subservient role in social or professional situations",
whereas Urban Dictionary says this:
"A beta male is a man who lacks masculine energy and adopts feminine characteristics,
often faces problems or confrontations passive aggressively.
A beta male is often taken advantage due to his 'nice guy' persona".
When I was in school, a "beta male" was what kids would call a pussy.
Nothing wrong with being a pussy.
So obviously I don't think that most men fit into either of these categories strictly.
People will probably have traits from each category
that will make them an entire person and not just a stereotype.
I also assume that these roles have like,
come from like, the animal kingdom with like alpha dogs.
So: "7 things that ALPHA males DO that BETA males DON'T".
So this video came up in my recommended,
I'm not really sure what kind of videos I was watching
that made YouTube think that I'd want to watch this but,
let's go!
So I don't know who this guy is.
I went through his channel and I looked at his most popular videos:
"8 ways to make your EX regret breaking up with YOU".
Feel like that's not really a healthy thing to encourage,
but I haven't watched the video, so I can't really make a judgment.
We've also got: "How to flirt without being creepy and how to approach (Flirting advice)".
I guess some men need that.
Obviously, a lot of men come across as creepy when they're flirting.
And again, not seen the video, can't judge.
But there were these 2 videos that I saw that kind of made me warm to him,
I was like: "OK, maybe this guy... He's just giving out advice.
He's just wanting to help people".
And those videos are: "Got BUTT HAIR? Grooming options (cheeks and crack)".
And also: "How to shave your testicles".
I don't know this man and, you know,
regardless of the fact that I don't play into this whole alpha and beta stereotype stuff,
he seems, to me, from first impressions that, you know,
he's trying to help guys out.
A lot of guys, obviously, have issues with their confidence
and that's something that we should sort of try and fix.
Always good to boost someone's confidence,
so let's see what he has to say about alpha and beta males.
"Gentlemen, in this world there are 2 types of men:
There are alphas and there are betas.
Alphas are strong, betas are weak".
This is a bit overwhelming.
This is a very lOUD MAN.
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF I TALK TO YOU GUYS LIKE THIS?
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT?
WOULD YOU FEEL CONFIDENT?
To be fair, I'm pretty sure I talk quite loud.
First impressions!
He's got the masculine beard, he's got the big shoulders...
What DOES surprise me is the earrings.
I was not expecting that from an alpha male,
and that's not a judgment, that's just I wasn't expecting that.
I'm surprised.
Alpha males are strong, beta males are weak.
Right now I want you guys to pick a side:
Are you an alpha male? Are you a beta male?
There's no in between, just the 2 genders: Alpha male and beta male.
"My goal is, for each and every one of you, to develop into incredibly alpha dudes,
that are strong, that are confident, that are caring, that are compassionate.
Because it is impossible for you to truly kick this world's ass if you are beta.
- If you are weak, if you are submissive.." - I'm not a fan of the pointing.
Strong, confident, caring, compassionate. I can vibe with these.
I feel like we won't have a similar opinion on what 'strong' means.
The very in-your-face demeanor makes me feel like, you know,
his version of 'strength' is being imposing!
"Gentlemen today I'm gonna go over 7 signs that you are, indeed alpha,
or, potentially, a little beta. Number one, alphas..."
I have to hold this guy quite far away.
"They're leaders in their peer group, they're leaders at work.
They're leaders in society. Betas are followers.
Betas just do what they need to do in order to get by.
They don't want to rock the boat.
Alphas are strong, they take control of situations..."
I swear to God.
"ALPHAS ARE STRONG!" I'm going to cosplay as an alpha.
"Alphas speak up and stand up for what's right.
They don't just keep their mouth shut when they see an injustice or something that's not right.
They take care of themselves, but they also take care of other people, which is number 2".
There is clearly a lot of pressure put on men to be a certain type of man.
I think avoiding feeling pressured into either of these roles is a good thing,
but I feel like I'm being lectured.
I just have issues with this kind of stuff because I feel like forcing
people into boxes that they don't necessarily fix in...
Fix in? Fit in is a bad thing.
And that's not the same as like, finding an identity
and like, identifying with a certain label.
But, as good as his intentions could be,
I think forcing men into either this role or this role
is already a bit... It's not very healthy.
There are definitely a lot of positive traits that you're speaking about,
but I don't think you need to be an alpha to be strong.
Or like, speak up for what you know is right.
"Alphas are caring. They're compassionate.
They take care of other people, not just themselves.
Betas aren't worried about anything else,
they don't care how something affects other people..."
I appreciate the aggressive caring.
"HAVE YOU BEEN CRYING?
WIPE THOSE TEARS!
OH, COME ON MAN! I'LL GIVE YOU A HUG!"
It's all a bit much.
I feel like this very black and white view is not accurate or helpful.
"Betas are egotistical and self-centered.
Alphas think about the greater good, it's not just about them and how things affect them.
They're there to be a benefit to other people.
Instead of trying to keep somebody down, they grab their hand, lift them up and say:
'Come on amigo! We're going to kick ass together!'"
Like, I appreciate that and, obviously, this guy like, sees himself as an alpha.
I just don't think telling men that they're either stRONG or WEAK,
I don't think that's pulling anyone out.
I don't think berating somebody for their lack of confidence,
or their shyness, or their lack of ability to be like, in your face!
I don't think that is an effective way to pull someone up.
You don't get somebody with social anxiety to come out to a party that they don't want to come to
by calling them a 'pussy' and being like: "Come on, be a man",
because men are told that their entire life.
There's nothing inherently like, strong, about being a man.
Men and women aren't that different that men are inherently strong and women are weak.
The expectation is just not... It's just not healthy.
"Number 3: Alphas are charming.
You are a charming ass dude when you are alpha and basically,
and charming means is that you're polite, you're friendly, you're likable.
If you've got a good spirit, a good character, a good personality,
typically, you're going to be alpha".
This guy's in it for the vibes. This guy's in it for the vibe.
"You got good spirit, you got a good energy, you're polite".
Hell yeah!
So, this is good:
Being polite, being kind? Good things.
Being confident? Good thing.
Berating men for not fitting your idea of masculinity? Not so good.
"If you're not friendly, if you're not polite, if you're not really that likable,
if you're a pessimist, that pretty much tells me that you are a beta.
But alphas people like,
they want to be around them because alphas make other people feel good about themselves".
I don't want to like, [ ] on this guy because I think he's trying to do good,
but like, there's already like, a bit of hypocrisy in this video.
If alphas make other people feel good about themselves,
then why are you here berating people for not being alphas?
"Doesn't mean that alphas aren't shy at times or introverted.
This just means that, when they talk, when they engage people,
people typically like them because they're pleasant,
they're friendly, they're kind, and they are likable.
Number 4: Alphas don't run from their problems.
Betas are like: 'I don't want to hear it! I don't want to deal with it!
I'm going to be mad about something that happened 27 years ago because my mommy was mean to me!'"
You had me.
You almost had me.
Not running from your problems?
Hell yeah!
Confront them! Head first, dive into that [ ]!
But if somebody is still upset about how their mom treated them 27 years ago,
there's probably... There's probably something going on.
"It's not easy.
Every single one of you is going to have problems and it's not something to run from.
It's not something to try and shield yourself from!
And just because you have problems doesn't mean that you're not doing something right,
it doesn't mean that your life is not going to be amazing.
Gentlemen, problems add meaning and purpose to your life.
Here's an audio book that I listen to..."
I'm just going to skip the sponsorship.
"5th thing that alphas do that betas don't is they are authentic.
Alphas are authentically alpha.
They don't need to put on an act.
They don't need to be something in public that they're not in private..."
Being authentic, 100%.
Great.
I just don't think approaching the subject in this way will help create an authentic environment.
"With alphas what you see is what you get.
Something that I had to deal with when I first started YouTube was I was not authentic.
Something that I'm actually very embarrassed about.
When I first started YouTube I was like, trying to figure out what I should do,
and so I sort of adopted a persona that I saw other people sort of doing
and being successful with on YouTube, which meant I was rude, I was ignorant...
I said some really horrible nasty things trying to be something that I wasn't.
And the minute I dropped the crap, drop the act, and just let you guys see who I am
was the moment that everything changed.
Guys, I beg you: Don't put on an act, don't put on a facade for anybody.
Be you! Because you are pretty freaking incredible".
It's annoying me that this video is based upon the whole like,
alpha and beta, and why beta is bad and alpha is good,
because there's some really good really positive stuff in here:
Being authentic, being confident, looking after people.
These are great traits to have, but I think they're entirely lost
when you try to introduce the idea of like, alpha male and beta male.
Because men are just men.
Guys are just dudes.
Bros are just bros.
And I am sure that this guy's videos have probably helped a lot of people.
I think a much healthier approach is kind of just
to focus on the authenticity and the confidence aspect.
The topic should be like: "How to be a better you",
"how to be a better person",
"how to treat people better".
And instead of being like: "Hey! Be a better version of yourself",
the message kind of comes across as like: "Hey! Be like this guy. Be like this guy".
And as much as I make fun of heterosexual men,
the reason some of them are so [ ] and are like, unable to express their feelings
is because of society telling them that that's not what a man does.
"This is what a man does".
"This is who a man is".
"You're not a man if you do this".
And obviously, if you've been told that your entire life,
it'll be probably hard to like, break out of that.
And this guy is almost there and I understand how it's like, easy to understand:
"This is good, this is bad", but I don't think that's really helpful.
"Number 6: Alphas have willpower. They're able to control themselves.
They're not giving in to every temptation because they know
sometimes you gotta say "no" in order to ultimately be awesome".
Like, I understand how ridiculous he sounds a lot of time but like,
"this is how to be awesome".
It's cute.
And last but certainly not least,
the 7th thing that all alphas have in common is that they are strong.
Physically and mentally.
They've got strong confident body language.
When they meet somebody, they smile, they look them in the eye,
they shake their hand like they mean it.
When things happen that aren't amazing they don't freak out and just like,
crumble into a ball and like, run away screaming.
They deal with it because they have the tools in order to overcome adversity".
I'm so conflicted.
This video wasn't what I expected it to be.
But I think it's kind of just too simple.
There's definitely some positive aspects of what he's saying,
but I don't think his approach to this is like, encompassing all men.
Some men aren't mentally strong.
Some men have mental health issues.
But I also understand that he's talking about like, the idealized version of a person.
This is difficult.
My battery died just before the end of the video.
"You have to believe in yourself!
You've got to have the confidence and the ability to stand up for what's right, not what's easy.
You've got to stand up for yourself. You've got to speak your mind.
You are incredibly alpha, don't let anybody tell you differently.
I don't want you to succumb to the beta mentality that's so prevalent in today's world,
because you kick so much ass it's freaking ridiculous".
I am feeling so conflicted.
On the one hand he's telling these people that they are alphas and they kick ass,
but on the other hand he's still playing into this whole like, alpha male, beta male thing.
I think this guy means well.
I don't think pushing the alpha and beta rhetoric is really helpful,
but he has some nice things to say.
If you guys want me to check out some of his other videos I can make a video on them,
because I am curious about what he says about like, how to flirt.
And I wanna know how he thinks
he's gonna make your ex-girlfriend regret breaking up with you,
but, you know...
But yeah, that was the end of the video.
Have a good day or don't.
Let me know how you feel about it.
What do you feel about the video in the comments.
I don't know what to say, I'm very tired, but...
Goodbye!
See you later losers!
I am needing sleep.