l dated this girl...
for a while, and she was really a nasty freak.
She iust loved to get down with sex all the time.
She was like, any time of day, she was like:
''Yeah, let's go. l'm so nasty.''
And l'd be nailing her.
Oh, shit. She'd be like:
''Oh, you're nailing me. Cool.''
She talk dirty to you? She loved to dirty-talk.
Totally into it. She'd be like:
''Yeah, let's screw, let's.... l wanna fuck.''
God, it was so dirty.
She'd be like, ''Me so horny, me love you long time.''
So....
(Jay) So what were the titties like? Yeah, describe her....
Yeah, she had great tits.
No, l mean, like, detailed. Did she have, like, you know...
them little pink teeny nipples. Oh, yeah.
(Jay) Or like the long NatĂ­onal GeographĂ­c nippIes.
You have like the bumpy Braille nipples, the Stevie Wonders.
(Andy) Yeah, they were nice.
You know, when you, like, you grab a woman's breast and it's....
And you feel it and...
it feels like a bag of sand when you're touching it.
Bag of sand?
You know what l mean. Why don't we just play?
Why don't you iust deal the cards?
What are you talking about?
Have you ever felt a breast before, man?
Yes.
Dude, are you gay? No, l'm not gay.
l've been with tons of women.
l touched a guy's balls at Hebrew school once.
Dude, it's not a big deal. You like to fuck guys.
l'm cool. l got friends who fuck guys, in jail.
No, l'm not gay.
No, l've borked a lot of women in my day.
You've ''borked''?
Hold up. Yo, answer this question:
Are you a virgin?
Yeah, not since l was 10.
lt all makes sense. You're a virgin.
l am.... Shut up. How does that happen?
He's a fucking virgin.
l knew it. That makes so much sense, man. Look, he's a virgin.
You guys are hilarious. All right, come on, don't be mean.
l'm not being mean. l'm trying to help the partner out.
l'm trying to say l wanna get you laid, dude.
l understand what's going on.
You guys are so up your asses.
From now on, your dick is my dick. l'm getting you some pussy.
[men laughing]
A bag of sand! Come on, man! You could do better than that.
God, me so horny? Me so stupid!
[yelling]
Oh, come on.
[laughing]
lt's gonna be fine. They don't even remember.
Those guys are cool.
[alarm buzzing]
This is gonna be bad.