Welcome to "Full Frontal."
I'm Samantha Bee.
Today former senior Trump advisor
Hope Hicks testified before Congress-- well, "testified."
She refused to appear before any cameras
or answer any questions about her time
in the White House, which would be fine
if Congress were investigating her high school
yearbook quote--
"the future belongs to those who believe
in the beauty of dreams"--
and why she attributed it to Jimmy Buffett
when it's actually probably Eleanor Roosevelt.
Interestingly, she did a tribute a different quote
to Eleanor Roosevelt--
"I blew out my flip-flop, stepped on a pop top."
Oh, it's easy to grow up white.
Unfortunately, this is a probe into Trump's
possible obstruction of justice, so
for once in your shampoo commercial of a life answer
some of these questions.
OK.
Meanwhile, the Democrats are desperate to answer questions
prepping for the democratic debates, which kick off
in one week-- and thank God because all anyone
could talk about is when are we finally
going to get a 2020 debate.
It is June, the weather's perfect,
and everyone's debate bods are slamming.
With 20 candidates set to take the stage,
you'd think that the Democratic Party
is just letting anyone in.
But in reality, there are some candidates
who didn't make the cutoffs, such as Montana
governor and man who will sell your house today,
Steve Bullock.
Bullock is currently polling around 0%,
possibly because no one knows who the fuck he is.
For example, I first learned of Steve Bullock
by reading his name off this teleprompter 30 seconds ago.
But even though he's a pointless presidential candidate,
Bullock is pretty popular in his home state.
In the same year that Donald Trump beat Hillary Clinton
by 20 points in Montana, Bullock actually
won against his Republican opponent
by four points, which brings me to make a delicate request--
run for senate, goddammit!
Look, winning the presidency would be great,
but real change is impossible unless the Senate
changes hands too.
I have literally no opinion on whether Bullock would be
a good president or whether or not he even exists,
but I know no one is more in touch with the issues
that affect real Montanans.
Memorial Day is off at the start of the summer.
We love getting out there, but it's also--
with this warm weather bears are coming
down more and more in places where
people can come in contact.
Buy that can of bear spray, read the instructions,
learn how to do it.
And I think even Mike can show us how it is.
Got to take the little trigger out there?
Yeah.
OK.
[SPRAYS CAN]
- Good job. - Thank you.
Thank you.
Never-- never pet a bear.
This man was born to serve the people of Montana specifically.
Although, if it works on bears, maybe it will also work
on presidential candidates.
No, do not-- go on.
Run for senate.
[CHEERING]
Even Montana voters aren't blown away
by the idea of their governor running for president.
Or rather they are, just not the way he wants.
REPORTER 1: Carole Carey said, "I'm
sure they will be impressed with our three electoral votes."
And Kenny Davis said about the announcement, "that's cute,
has anybody outside of Montana even heard of him before."
REPORTER 2: When I tell you Steve Bullock,
a potential candidate for president of the United States,
you tell me?
Holy [MUTED], really.
Yeah, wow.
REPORTER 2: Do you think he could take on Donald Trump?
No, I don't think so.
This is like when your parents tell you that your talent show
performance was interesting.
It means that close up magic is not for you.
Bullock is just one of many Democrats wasting his time
in a presidential race who could be way more useful
running for something else.
You'd think people would be lining up to run for senate,
but it turns out Chuck Schumer is being
served rejection after rejection from the party's biggest hopes.
One former senate aide suggested that good candidates don't want
to run for senate because it's so toxic
and polarized, which I assume is a euphemism for, fuck,
I don't want to work with Mitch McConnell.
But that is exactly why we need good democratic candidates
for senate.
The beauty of elections is if you run and win,
then you're the Mitch McConnell.
That said, a nasty atmosphere isn't the only reason
the Senate is unappealing.
According to "The New York Times,"
it's harder to convince Westerners to run for senate
because they'd have to take long round-trip flights
to Washington, DC.
I really think this excuse is bullshit.
I mean, yes, I know this week there was that one
plane that was infested with thousands of biting ants,
but it's fine.
I've heard that Ted Cruz bought that one all for himself.
The snack is built right in.
Presidential candidate and former star
of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," John
Hickenlooper says he is not cut out
to run for senator in Colorado.
You don't get a team of people to address
things in the Senate, right?
You have a very small team.
I guess you do have a team.
It's not the same as operating an enterprise.
And there is something-- for those of us
that become energized and really electrified
by working with talented people and taking
on things that people say are impossible,
then getting them done.
I don't-- I can't--
the Senate doesn't attract me at this point.
It just doesn't attract me.
It doesn't attract you?
Well, 99.7% of democratic presidential voters
aren't attracted to you.
My God.
How is he still so confident?
Is this what it's like to be a man?
I barely have the confidence to go buy a cereal without putting
on makeup first.
John Hickenlooper, run for senate.
Colorado's Cory Gardner is one of the most vulnerable GOP
senators this year.
You have a good shot against him and you
literally have a 0.3% shot at being nominated for president.
My feet are polling better than that on wikiFeet and my dad
was a hobbit.
Flipping the Senate won't be easy, but it isn't impossible.
Democrats will have to defend all 12 of their current seats
and pick up four more.
There are a few possibilities, including
Maine, where total guys girl Susan
Collins is up for reelection.
Collins' approval rating has dipped 15 points
in the last two years, largely due to her votes
for Brett Kavanaugh and other anti-abortion judges.
Voters were so frustrated, in fact,
that they raised millions for her challenger
before a challenger even announced.
Luckily Maine House Speaker Sarah Gideon
is expected to take on Collins.
Hopefully she'll kick Collins out of office,
giving her more time to gaslight sexual assault
victims face to face.
Unfortunately Democrats are often reluctant to run races
they probably can't win, but that doesn't
mean they shouldn't try.
Just look at Iowa senator, and Kate Gosselin's hair burglar,
Joni Ernst.
Sure Ernst is going to be hard to beat.
She's a right wing Iowan who carries a pistol in her purse
and brags about castrating pigs as a child.
But Iowa's been hit hard by Trump's tariffs,
maybe they'll go for a Democrat who cares about free trade
and only has plans to castrate one big pig.
I totally get why you wouldn't want to be in the Senate.
You have to do painful things like craft
legislation that never goes anywhere
and see Chuck Schumer in the gym.
On a good day his balls are inside his shorts.
On a bad day you see that they also have red glasses on.
But the Senate is really important.
We need Democrats who understand voters in places
like Colorado and Montana.
Otherwise, the next Supreme Court
Justice will probably just be a Bible taped to a mop handle.
We'll be right back.
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