[D] Alright, So this is us watching, uh, Suicide Squad
Now with this we do it a little differently ([R]Hey! Academy Award Winning Suicide Squad) Academy Award winning
Suicide Squad, Don't think we aren't putting that in the review somewhere. Um, But uh
This is a clip-less review so uh so we don't really take notes for it because
With regular reviews we have to . . . Sort of make fun of the actual clips that you see
[D]With the clipless we have to explain it, we have to act it out [R] We just throw garbage at the TV, basically
So, so it's a little bit more like, the ideas. We talk more about the ideas, and different ways of showing it and expressing it
So, where we don't necessarily need the clips
Uh, but we still kinda do the same thing, we like
talk at it and say jokes to it
even when we're watching at the theater
I have seen it
I... like it more than I dislike it
But I know it's not really a good movie
He has not. I think he's gonna hate it. [R]That's a...
[D] I think he's really gonna hate it [R] That's a thrilling endorsement
[D] Yeah.
We're just gonna get to watch it. Here we go!
[Laughs] [D] Brought to you by the letter "R"!
Suicide Street
[R] Alright, so... already I had to close the curtains
Because the movie's so dark,
I couldn't see a damn thing!
"Let's have some fun."
[R] "Let's have some fun". Words never heard in a DC movie ever
[D]Cirque du S... Harley
[R] Multipass? Is she dressed as Leeloo from 5th element?
[D] Multipersonality
[D] Just immediately, the soundtrack is win
[R] Yeah
[D] I just love this weird combination of songs
That's like half the women I've dated.
"And that is why I'm here."
[R] Random spot for the title [D] Weird spot for the title, yeah
[R] Black woman smiles,
There's our Suicide Squad... title
[R] Superman shared our values. He totally took out the military satellites
That was like the first thing he did in the end of that movie
Cool! We're in the video game version!
... Okay, why not ...
[D] It's awesome!
That's so stupid but so awesome!
Before he even falls he's already halfway down the building.
See that is sh!t that's just so cool! [R] It helps...
[R] It's kinda like the Fantastic 4 movie, it helps when the first thing you do in the movie is just stupid
So I'm like : Okay, I'm not supposed to take this super seriously
[D] Yeah.
We've got back to a traditional Will Smith movie here.
[R] Is this a romantic comedy?
F%cking Batman, man ?!
I wh.. what??!
"I love you, Daddy."
Boo! F%ck you Batman!!!
"I need a machine gun."
[R] Kay.
He looks like a trustworthy guy
"You're ruining date night!"
I'm so noble
Did I ever tell you how I used a 10 year-old black girl as a human shield?
[D] I totally knew he wasn't gonna do it
Like, 80% sure
You know it really would have made the Batman vs Superman movie better
[R] Oh, that's JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
[D] Really, when you think about it,
We should have made a movie out of ONE of these people
[R] I'm kind of thinking the same thing
Oh, it's Wednesday Addams!
[D] I see more evil Hermione...
Except she could probably sing
[R] Oh...
Too soon...
"In a world of flying men and monsters, this is the only way to protect our country."
[D & R] Uh... Umm...
[R] Questions?
[D] Many... Many questions
[R] So... She's the bad guy?
[D] No.
[R] No? Okay.
[D] No, but good guess
No, the bad guy in this is so out of nowhere
in a sense, that's like... pff! What?!
Suddenly the movie is like : oh we have a villain now
and it's like, wait, it was that b...? O... Okay.
[R] Yeah... Is there a villain yet? I haven't seen anybody
[D] Well, they're technically "all villains" but
Yeah... No.
[R] Oooh!
It's like an evil Sailor Moon. ☾
[R] Now,
What are we doing?
I just... I haven't seen a villain yet, I haven't...
It's literally just like:
We need these guys, why?
Mm.. Something, Superman... I dunno
[D] Honestly, this is one of those weird movies where the best part of the movie
is when there's no story
He will charm the hell out of you
Unlock his coolness
"That's my price, sweetie. You know what it is."
[R] Oh, Will!
I'd still tap that.
Where there's a Will, there's a gay.
"That could change with a phone call."
[R] He's the bad guy...
[D] Nope!
[R] The phone's the bad guy!
[D] It would make more sense...
There's a part of me that just wonders, like
Does he just sit there spray painting
"HA! HA!" like, that's...
I guess this is crazy... I don't know
[R] I'm... not... nearly that impressed with him
[D] No. It's...
Another Joker
He's not good, he's not bad
He's just... another Joker
[R] She's the bad guy!
HE'S the bad guy!
The lamp's the bad guy!
[D] You know, why is Croc a thing?
[R] I don't know
[D] They use him so many times
[R] I've never found him interesting
[D] Never!
The best thing he had was that "It was a rock" Line!
"You are so screwed."
"What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that?!"
Okay,
Dumbest part of the movie
Like, f%ck you movie
That's the last we see of that guy
...
"You are so screwed" "you are so..." "what do you mean?" "what do you mean?"
We never find out.
[R] WHAT?!
[D] Yeah, what the f%ck!
I like that Joker uses the new technology
Like, he updated
I think that's cool
Yeah, so, um... She's the bad guy
[R] Oh.
[D] Yeah, just... oh.
[R] So, really, they just created this whole mess their damn selves...
[D] Pretty much...
I mean... Come on!
You get all the world's worst supervillains together and
one of 'em goes nuts, I mean
I... j... Pff!
Where'd this come from?
There's your sky portal, oh god dammit!
[R] OOOOHMYGOD! ANOTHER SKY PORTAL!
What about Batman, The Flash...?
[D] Right?!
Why weren't they getting THOSE people together?
"Hey, one minute I'm playing mahjong with me nana, and this red streak kicks me outta nowhere!"
[R] Is that English? [D] I have no idea what that he just said
[R] I just heard : ajuwowuwowahwuwowie!
He speaks like Starfox characters
[D & R] Wubbuwuwowu
[R]This would be way more entertaining if she uses that mallet and it makes cartoon noises
It'd be entertaining if she has all these items rigged
With speakers so they make cartoon noises
[D] That... That's what I was thinking, yeah
That'd be actually really cool
"What are we some kinda suicide squad?"
No, your place is now in the Return of the King
[R] It shall be known as the Fellowship of the Ring
[D] The Forging of the Two Towers
D'you know there's only one Lord of The Ring ...
Who the F%ck is this?
[R] Well I know who this is, 'cause I watched Arrow... but
[D] Yeah, so she... [R] There's no introduction here in the movie
[D] This is her intro...
[R] What?!
[D] Yeah...
[R] How do you make a movie, and call it Suicide Squad
And have it be completely bloodless?
[D] Better rate it so... they could say Sh!t a couple times...
I love the smell of sellout in the morning
"Mind Games." "What's that?"
"Those... bomb in the neck crap."
Listen, there's only so many names we could have over of the title
[D] It's Quiet [R] Yeah [D] Too quiet
Why isn't there a... song from the soundtrack?
Clearly we needed Harley Quinn to point and shoot that gun
You know what the nice thing is?
Everything in here is so black so I'm so glad the villains they're fighting are
completely black
[R] Just like dirt on dirt
[D] We're not Marvel, okaaay?
How would you like to be that Egyptian god that
puts all these minions together, it's like
Oh bat, God!
[R] Just look at the streets. So Metropolis is... Chicago
Gotham is Chicago
[ D&R] And now Midway City is Chicago
This is why [D]Gotham and Metropolis are right next to each other in [R] these all fu... yeah
[D] Batman V Superman, 'cause it's literally the same city
[R] This is why these films all look alike
[D] Okay, you don't want to see that to every single one, you know
They... They kinda get the idea
So, that's where Gozer is, huh?
Again, the best action scenes are with her 'cause I CAN SEE HER !!!
[R] Well, we know why that is
"C'mon, let's go."
[D]Yeah I... legitimately don't know why we were surprised
Or standing around
I... we... uh
Director, hello?
Hello? Why were we doing that?
[R] I love Croc's character development
[D] I'd say has he had a line, but right now... Like, has he had a word?
"Don't touch me!" "What you gonna do? I'm touching you!"
So he broke his years and years vow of not hurting anyone
Because "not touching you", " I'm not touching you" !
That one was too far!
[R] D'you think that's how Satan tempted Christ?
Forty days in the desert, just like : I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you
"Desire becomes surrender, surrender becomes power."
[D] Are we Nolaning this or what?
Shall I whip out the philosophy book?
"Admit it, Rick. I was right."
What? What do you mean you were right?!
Your bad guy caused all of this! [R] Yeah! I...
"Don't get high-spirited on me and ruin a good thing."
[D] Most threatening person in this movie is a woman in a pant suit...
[R] Okay, him in the suit firing the machine gun I kinda like
"Kill Harley Quinn."
"Do it for your freedom and your kid." "Now she dead."
Ahh, see that's what I like!
See, it gets it ocasionnally
[D] Yeah.
"I missed."
I always go back and forth with that 'cause on one hand, it's like, that's like your kid and
Your freedom and your stuff, but then I'm like... Ehh...
I wouldn't trust her anyway, you know
"I got some grape soda on ice and a bear-skin rug waitin'."
That might be my favorite line
[R] That... That is so bizarre it's kind of amazing. [D] Yeah.
[R] Dead.
[D] But what do you think of him legitimately, like...
why did he save her
going in
like, there's a ton of times he could've let her die
but he comes to her instead, what do you think of that?
I surprisingly don't mind it
'cause I've seen the other version so many times [R] Yeah
[D] So I'm kinda like yeah... I'm actually okay with it.
[R] The film doesn't make me care enough
To really even get worked up about it.
[D] ♪ I know he's so obviously not dead ♫
[R] I've given up on this abusive relationship !
I'm gonna star in better films!
Here's my problem: We already saw this!
This is a giant waste of time!
[D] I agree
And like, they cut it, and they didn't show that. We'll save it for later
WHY?
Yes, yes, I know all o' dis!
Command me, Lord
"We need a miracle."
F%ck this movie!
[R] That's kinda where I'm at right now
And it started off better
but I'm just kind of tapped out
Like,
I don't care anymore
[D] I don't get why that was the big "OH, I'm done"
[R] Well, they treated that like some big reveal, too
But WE KNEW ALL THAT!
[D] And even she, on the other side who's like: NO! That was too far.
Like, why?
"Don't forget, we're the bad guys."
Don't you, audience. Don't forget. We're the bad guys.
"Not me, shorty. I'm beautiful."
That's such a horribly written line, I think it's kind of awesome
"Not me, I'm beautiful"
I'm just like, okay, you... you had one line... And you owned it
[R] Gah! It's like the rare moment!
where the comedy kicks in
I'm like, oh, see, that's what I wanted
[D] Can you imagine if they didn't go back and do
the reshoots to add the comedy?
I'd be like, Christ!
"The man who killed her husband used that sword. His soul's trapped inside of it."
[R] Thanks for telling us, not showing us, movie
It's okay, it was made for the fans... They know!
They read the comics, they don't need to see it
in glorious big screen
That pisses me off more
'cause if I'm a fan
I'm like : NO! That's exactly what I wanna see!
[D] Yeah...
I wanna see the comic book come to life
Now you just say : yeah that happened in the comic, go read that...
F%CK YOU !!!
[D] So much for the fans, we didn't even make a movie
We just have a giant comic that we just show ...
On Camera. [R] It's for the faaans.
And we took half of that comic out 'cause we just figured
you know it already, 'cause for the faans!
♫ There's a place in France
where the naked ladies dance ♫
♪ Do the egyptian ♪
[D] I really like Harley
[R] Okay. Worth the price of admission right there
[D] And a lot of people are like : No, you can't see them without the makeup! Like...
[R] This make up sucks anyway!
Why do I give a sh!t...
If this were a better Joker, I'd agree with that.
This Joker is not that great
Still more character development than in Fantastic Four
[D] I was cool the whole thing. I'm out.
[R] Okay.
[D] Yeah... I totally forgot what that was...
I... I totally blocked that out from my memory
Like, what the f%ck was that?
Why could he do that?
What's the Egyptian word for "screw"?
[R] I don't know, but apparently
these writers knew it
Poor belly-dancing Hermione
[D] That just made me more angry
I'm gonna move even moooore!
Blowser the bloserian
"You messed with my friends!"
Now, see, if she said...
"You hurt Mr. J"
Then that would've made more sense [R] Then, I would've, yeah...
I haven't seen much in the way of just like "oh yes, we really care about each other"
[D] I mean, you had the bar scene, but I don't think that's enough
for like
NO, no, I'm willing to risk everything
[R] That didn't even happen 40 minutes before it did, and
you need to add more character development along the way
"Katana, no!"
[D] Her whole job is just being told "No"
[R] Yeah
[D] Katana, no!
You only use your powers when it's useless
"You don't have the balls."
She always knew how to get my goat!
[R] I had a sword, I could've done it myself.
But you said no
[D] I literally don't have the balls and could've done it... I...
[R] Yeah...
*sighs* Well, I have seen hardly any suicides
I expected more...
[D] Venkman, Venkman!
[R] She's still in there!
[D] Actually, I forgot what a cool effect that is. That was really cool!
"--hypotenuse, so you'd have to know this angle."
You would legitimately know that, I like that
Okay, if this is Batman, and this is you, what shot
would I have to make to get him to get YOU out of the way
Yeah, just... bring up an old wound
"Let's go home."
Why is that even the ending?
I just saw them like, oh, okay
so that happened
[R] I didn't miss him at all
[D] You know what'll be cooler?
If you f%cking ended on that guy
you said you were gonna get the guard
The cop!
Who never shows up again
[R] That movie wasn't terrible
But it wasn't really very good
[D] To me it is, like I said, like
The first 40, maybe even 50 minutes
I'm like: okay, this is actually okay
Doesn't make any sense, but [R] It's alright, yeah, the first
[D] Then it sorta gets less and less and then, just like
This is with the comedy added IN !
[R] I know! That's what... That's what blows my mind
Like, if this was the comedy added in
HOLY F%CK
[D] What was the original? [R] Yeah...
[D] Say "For the fans" one more time
[R] It's for the faaans!
[D] Yeah. That's Suicide Squad
And,uh, yeah. [R] That happened
[D]Like I said, we're just gonna, uh, take a lot of these ideas
and things we said
And we're gonna turn it into the review
By the time you see this, review will already be out
So you can see what made it and what didn't
So, that's about it and we'll see you next time!
BYE !
[R] It was alright I guess... * way to mess up the ending :D *
[D] It's alright
[R] Yeah...
FOR THE FANS !