- I have been proposed to by eight different people.
A couple of those people, a couple times.
I've accepted two proposals, I've had two fiances,
and it didn't work out with either one.
I'm at this point, I've told my friends,
if someone proposes to me again, they need to say,
"Do you want to get married, like, tomorrow?"
- Okay, when I see my dream girl walking towards me,
she is probably on the shorter side,
not really really skinny, but not super curvy,
so maybe something in between,
and just a nice smile and kind of like an open heart
that I can see through her eyes.
(uplifting instrumental music)
- Your name is Brian, and this is your story.
You are 30 years old, for work you are an EMT.
You grew up in San Diego.
- Okay, you're really close, with the name,
that's actually my Dad's name, Brian.
My name is Brendan, and I'm 28,
so you're pretty close there, I'm not an EMT,
I'm an actor, so, I could play an EMT sometimes
I guess (laughing).
I grew up in Chicago.
Your name is Alexa, and this is your story.
You are 24 years old, for work you are a dog trainer?
You grew up in Florida.
- My name is Allie, and this is my story.
I am 27 years old, for work I'm an addictions specialist,
I do love dogs though.
I grew up in Texas.
- Hi.
(both laugh)
- So, we were both pretty close on the names,
that's a start. - Yeah, we were,
the first letters were right.
- I really wasn't sure with the job stuff,
but I was like okay, you're in shape, so...
- I do play a lot of sports, like a big football person.
- Oh good.
- I'm kind of like a dog, if you just throw a ball,
I'm going to chase it.
- So it would be ideal if I was a dog trainer.
(both laugh)
- Well, no, that'd be a little weird.
- Too much maybe. - [Brendan] Yeah.
- I was raised in a very conservative household,
on top of that it was Mormon.
It's family first, it's be modest and be respectful,
it was also a military household, so, you know,
I learned to shake hands when I was a small child.
Actually, I could include that
in my one of my deal-breakers,
when a guy comes up to me with a weak handshake,
it's a deal-breaker.
- I was raised Catholic, but I wouldn't say it was strict,
I didn't have like the ruler over my head,
like you better go to church every day or else, buddy,
you know, my Dad would say, definitely stay Catholic,
go to church multiple times a week, and my Mom would say,
you don't have to go to church if you don't want to,
so, we could make our own decisions with that.
- If you could be an athlete for a day,
you would be a football player.
Your nickname is B.
You prefer to spend time with people
who have more left leaning views and values.
- Is that liberal?
- Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, liberal.
If I could be an athlete for a day,
I would definitely be a football player, yeah,
just for a day though, 'cause it hurts.
One of my nicknames is B, yeah,
I have a lot of people just start calling me things.
- I just was thinking that people aren't always creative.
- And football players aren't the most
creative thinking beings I guess (laughing).
Yeah, you're right, liberal, that being said,
I don't really follow politics either way, you know.
There's some people that, you know, that they meet you,
and if they hear you're a conservative or a liberal,
they're just like, well I'm not talking to that person.
If you could be an athlete for a day,
you would be a soccer player.
Dammit.
Your nickname is Al, you're uncreative, right, or A.
You prefer to spend time with people
who have liberal views and values.
- If I could be an athlete for a day,
I'd probably be like a stunt person, actually.
- Oh, cool.
- For nicknames (laughing), there have been the people
who have tried to call me Al,
there have been a couple people,
but I think more of what my family has called me,
which is like Messy Marvin.
- Messy Marvin? - [Allie] Yeah.
And it kind of ends up being any of the kids' nicknames,
but I also, it applies to me.
- Okay, are you...
- I'm a little messy, I'm messy.
- All right, what do you think, liberal views and values.
No?
It's more conservative, okay.
- I've lost friends recently, over politics,
which is crazy, because I've never been that into politics.
- You sure, you're losing friends over it.
- Yeah, it was just in that,
well because they had really strong feelings,
and so the feelings that I did have didn't line up
with theirs, and they just took it way over,
so my friends group got even smaller.
- Oh wow, well, if there's people that are that charged
about it, maybe it's better that they're not in your face
about it all the time.
Lucky for me, I'm just living on a rock with that stuff,
I have no idea.
I wake up and I put my pants on one leg at a time,
and I start making breakfast.
- Left leg or right leg first?
(both laugh)
I can understand why you'd be like, no,
this isn't something I care about anyway.
I don't know, I don't think you have to be
really polarized either way, and I mean,
the funny thing about choosing sides, to me anyway,
is that you just don't have to be all the way
on one side or the other, it's okay to be feeling like,
you know what, this is the one
I align with a little bit more,
and it's not perfect, but at least, you know,
there's stuff I can appreciate a little bit more
on this side, but understanding the other at the same time.
- Yeah.
I remember when my parents got divorced,
they sat me down along with my siblings,
and they just said, "Hey, we're separating,
"but this has nothing to do with you guys,
"so we just want you to know that we both
love you very much, we just need to be apart."
And we all accepted that and it's probably the smoothest
kind of divorce that could have happened.
But in retrospect, I would say
that I'm a little more guarded when I go out and I'm dating,
dating people, because maybe in the back of my mind
I have that, oh I hope this works out kind of thing.
- I am at a point in my life right now where I want
some happiness, some stability, I want people in my life
who I can count on, and to be moving forward,
to be moving towards having a family.
To me, marriage and children have always been
important, it's part of the goals of life,
it's part of the happiness that I would like in my life.
Brendan, you do think it's important for couples
to discuss their sexual histories and expectations.
You feel comfortable talking about sex.
You learned about sex from your Dad.
- Yes, it is important to talk about
what you're comfortable with,
and what you're not comfortable with, with your partner,
because if you're into some freaky stuff, and they're not,
then it's going to get real weird
if you don't talk about it and just jump into it, you know?
Yeah, I'm comfortable talking about sex,
comfortable talking about pretty much anything,
especially if it's with your partner,
you should be comfortable talking about anything.
I actually learned about sex through the sex ed class.
It was like, I got a little inkling of it
from my parents as to what,
you know, the birds and the bees talk,
but I kind of just went, "I don't understand,"
and just went back to doing what I was doing,
and then when I saw the class, I went over
and took the class, I went oh, oh, oh, oh.
Birds and the bees, I get it.
And I was really confused, why would birds
have sex with bees, you know?
- I just figured it was how birds did it,
and how bees did it,
not necessarily that they were together.
- Yeah, I thought it was like a bird having sex with a bee.
That's weird.
You do think it's important for couples to discuss
their sexual histories and expectations.
You feel comfortable talking about sex,
you learned about sex from your mother.
- I do think it's important for couples to discuss
their sexual histories and expectations, kind of like
what you said before, it's much better
to find out ahead of time than in the middle of somebody
trying to do something kind of weird.
- Yeah if they're pulling out a gerbil,
it's like, whoa, what're you doing?
- I mostly feel uncomfortable talking about sex.
I kind of get nervous watching things,
like I'll be watching something like a movie,
and I get like embarrassed, like second hand embarrassed.
- So you always feel like you're watching a movie
with your Mom, almost.
- It's a little bit like that.
- Okay.
- My sister was the one who first explained it to me,
and she felt it was very important that I understood
like, the terms, you know, like, you know, it's a penis.
In my family, growing up, the subject of sex
was mostly not talked about.
There's a lot of talk about modesty,
and saving yourself,
you know, it was very like,
oh you know, this is something you do
when you get married.
- What do you think about marriage?
Are you for it, are you against it?
- I am very much for marriage.
To me, a relationship is kind of pointless
if it's not going towards marriage,
I don't get in a relationship to begin with,
if it's not heading that way, marriage and kids.
- Okay, so the next question, so you do want kids.
- Yeah, so what do you think about marriage and having kids?
- Well, you're not going to like it,
I'll tell you that much.
I'm not for either of 'em.
For me, I don't need like the ring, or the traditional
kind of paperwork, church thing,
to say, you're going to be together
for the rest of your life.
I can just look at 'em and say hey, I'm gonna be with you
for the rest of my life.
And with the kids thing, I just get a strange look
when I say I don't want kids, because I come from,
I grew up in a big family, and I love my family,
I love 'em to death, I'll do anything for my family,
but I just don't want any of my own, so.
- That's why you like dogs.
- I do like dogs, yeah, mm-hmm.
Yeah I guess that could be why I like dogs.
- (laughing) This is a suitable replacement.
- When I first saw you, I decided that I would date you,
but after talking to you and getting to know you,
even though you are a sweetheart, I would not date you.
- When I first saw you, I decided I would date you,
but, after talking, I have decided I would not date you.
- Fair enough.
- I think you and I have kind of similar thought processes,
it's just at the end, the whole marriage and kids things,
it's obviously a big enough deal to us both.
But I think it's nice that neither of us
think we should change the other.
- No, I mean, you can change certain things,
but you can't change the core values, especially
on like the first date.
- It's a very touchy thing to try to make a relationship
with very different values.
I think it can be done, I just think it's
something both people have to be really willing to work on.
- When you're put there, right in front of the person,
and you got to fill out a questionnaire that is designed to
unearth those core beliefs and what they want
in a relationship, it brings, I wouldn't say brutal,
it could be brutal, but an honesty to the relationship,
right off the bat, which I love.
Well, even though we have differing views,
I think you're a lovely person, and I wish you all the best.
- Thank you, you too. - Thanks.
♫ Soulpancake