What if you could read anyone based on a few observations?
That ability would without a doubt help you succeed in life.
When we communicate, 93% of communication is based on body language and tone.
To better our observation skills, we can look to one of the best observers to learn how
to read anyone like a book.
Sherlock Holmes is one of the most popular fictional characters due to his ability to
make deductions from limited evidence.
If you are a Sherlock fan, you probably wanted to be able to think like him at some point
or another.
This video will go over 5 ways to read someone and observe like Sherlock and we are starting
right now.
1.
Deep observation.
This first one is the most famous one.
Holmes is a very keen observer of his environment.
Holmes is able to observe the world around him and take everything in, including the
small details.
This ability to observe is what enables him to create his deductions.
When it comes to reading people, you have to focus and observe.
Pay attention to others and not yourself so your attention is not divided.
You are trying to observe the other person, not yourself.
Instead of worrying about what people think when you stutter, pay attention to how someone
is crossing their arms or how their feet are pointed towards the door or how someone looks
away when you look at them.
After you put in more and more hours of observing, reading body language can become second nature.
2.
Link observations.
This is going one step further when you become a natural at observing.
Link the observations you made to form a bigger picture.
Reason backwards to try and find a conclusion.
Here’s a simple example.
If you notice someone has a stain on their shirt and you also notice it is 1 o clock,
you can deduce they had lunch and stained their shirt.
For a more complex example, say you notice someone has their arms crossed and they have
their feet pointed towards the door.
You can then safely deduce they are uncomfortable and want to leave.
If you noticed just one of those behaviors, you might assume they are uncomfortable and
want to leave but it won’t necessarily be accurate.
They could have just crossed their arms because they are cold.
One thing to watch out for is thinking you know which sets of data go together to form
a deduction.
You have to be open to multiple possibilities to avoid the confirmation bias which we will
talk about next.
3.
Objectively observe and deduce.
Sherlock Holmes doesn’t observe based on his emotions, prejudice, or ego.
He simply observes and makes rational deductions.
He does this in order to avoid the confirmation bias.
Confirmation bias is the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information
in a way that confirms one’s beliefs.
Say you meet someone who looks a bit scruffy.
If your instinct tells you that person is dirty because they didn’t shave, you will
look for information to confirm that which might make you miss out on other observations.
Objectively observing and deducing is a lot harder than it looks because we all have some
sort of bias.
It’s a natural tendency and we all have some bias that shapes our opinions.
The best way to go about this is to recognize it exists and catch yourself when you are
biased.
4.
Be skeptical.
Sherlock brings a natural skepticism to every case he faces.
When it comes to reading people, remember when I said in the beginning that 93% of communication
is based on body language and tone?
Pay attention to what someone is saying but more importantly, their body language and
tone.
It’s easy to tell a lie but it’s nearly impossible to hide the fact that it is a lie,
especially to someone who knows how to observe.
If someone says they are having a lot of fun but in a flat tone and they are frowning,
it’s very reasonable to deduce that they are not telling the truth.
Being skeptical helps you avoid the availability heuristic which is when you rely too much
on the information available.
5.
Think in terms of probabilities.
What is most likely to happen?
Holmes thinks though cases like a scientist by forming hypotheses and testing them against
new data as he goes along.
He generates many different hypotheses and figures out which is most likely the truth.
When you are trying to read someone, you have to figure out what is most likely the truth.
Say you meet someone in the evening and the data you observed is that he is charismatic,
he is wearing a nice suit, you can smell a faint scent of a woman’s perfume on him,
and he has an expensive wedding ring on.
Possible deductions could be he hugged his wife in the morning, he hugged a female co
worker, he is a manager at his workplace, he works as a salesperson, he likes buying
expensive things, or he is well off.
Which combination of those do you think is most likely true?
Leave a comment below on what you would deduce if you observed those data points.
Those 5 tips will go a long way and help you read people easily.
When you get better at observing, you will start noticing patterns.
While its a great mental shortcut, be careful as they might not always be the correct deduction.
If you are interested in a video where I breakdown some common body language signals, leave a
comment below and check out this video on how to be a silent person as observing comes
easier when you are more quiet.