Tell us what you do?
Tell us what you do for a living?
So I am a bus driver with the city.
A people mover, if you will.
I've been doing it for 15 years-
We all know what a bus driver is.
(all laughing)
Yeah, you only confused us more.
(all laughing)
I'm the guy that at the very front with the...
(all laughing)
Yeah! That's good!
Yeah so, I've been doing that for 15 years now,
give or take and it's a- (all laughing)
I love this, Tyler The Creator
and this is the Tyler the over explainer.
(all laughing)
"I'm a bus driver, we move people
in a large rectangular vehicle and I'm towards the front.
Conan, I used to be a mover.
I said I was a relocation technician.
(all laughing) Wow! I think that's fair.
If you had said that, I would've assumed you were a mover-
Here we go, absolutely.
I like to tell people I dabble in the comedic arts.
(man laughing)
And then they look at my work and they disagree.
(man laughing)
So you're a bus driver?
Yeah.
And I'm curious, are you a fan of the movie "Speed?"
And do you think because I think that's the only
action movie that's ever been made about a bus.
Is that correct, (inditsinct)?
"The Gauntlet." Oh.
It's the Clint Eastwood and is it Tyne Daly
where they kind of have to go through a whole
like armored city area on a bus.
Clint Eastwood and Tyne Daly.
I know, it's so crazy-
Why did you know that right away? That's crazy.
I'm not proud. Did you watch it yesterday?
Probably, if not this morning.
(all laughing)
Well I'm sorry if "Speed" is...
And we're forgetting Tyler here.
Tyler, "Speed" is one of two bus movies.
Yes. Yes.
And really only two.
Sondra Locke, sorry, his former wife.
But there is a movie he made with Tyne Daly.
Okay, yeah, but that was I think one of the
"Dirty Harry" movies.
Was it? Okay. Yeah.
Again, you've taken us down, you're very good at this
a cul de sac where there's nothing to eat.
(all laughing)
There's no fuel there's no house.
(all laughing) I'm sorry.
He takes you down conversational cul de sacs.
You know when they start to build a land development,
a planned community, and then they stop?
But there are still cul de sacs in the middle of a field
and there's just grass growing up.
Yeah. That's where he takes us.
I don't disagree.
No. Thank you Matt.
Which means you agree. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Listen, Tyler I will not ignore you anymore
and I apologize for my friends, they're the worst.
Oh. It's okay. It's okay.
I'm happy to see them (inditsinct) for the record.
Hey, thank you Tyler. Thank you.
I'm shocked to see Sona. I didn't do anything.
I thought Sona would've taken the day off
with today being what it is.
Hey that's right. It's 4/20. 4/20.
Yeah, I've got a happy hour planned
but I'm not gonna- I bet you do.
It's after bed time for my boys. I am an adult now.
So I wait for my boys sleep-
I was saying congratulations on the kids.
Thank you.
I'm sure you're sick of hearing it from everybody.
Oh well that's nice. That's nice.
I'm actually curious if anyone has ever
pooped on your bus.
Oh yes. (men laughing)
Yeah right?
Absolutely I've-
I can't believe it, that was my next question.
(man laughing)
That's just insane.
Right here it was, "Where are you from?"
And then underneath I wrote in parenthesis,
"If bus driver, has anyone pooped on your bus?"
That was-
You didn't even know he was a bus driver.
I wrote this before I knew he was a bus driver.
It said, "If bus driver," and then an arrow goes
right to "Has anyone pooped on the bus?"
(all laughing)
That's how well I prepare.
So, you're a bus driver, and people, no they have not.
No one came on your bus and pooped.
Has anyone came on your bus and said,
"Keep this above 50 miles per hour or I poop on the bus?"
(Sona laughing)
No, no, but I have had a gentleman
drop a deuce on the bus.
I've had another gentleman who'd rang the bell to get off
and just drop trou and took a leak and then just walked off
as if it was something that everybody does
and then for the next few- Quick question-
Stops, it's running up and down the aisle.
Oh.
Okay, but that's right, you're going up hills
and then down hills and yes I see,
it would be like a tidal flow.
Yes. Come on!
My question is- Explain it.
You said he rang the bell to stop the bus, then urinated?
That's correct. He knew his stop was coming up.
So it was an anticipation of him urinating,
and that's so cool that he didn't get pee shy.
Like he, "Here comes my stop,
I should pee now." Yeah.
Rang the bell. Right.
I mean it takes me a little while to just sort of chill-
Me too.
I sort of have to visualize different historic events
and then I can-
Oh. Okay. And then I can urinate.
Yeah, I can be conscious that it's about to happen
It has to happen- Exactly.
(Sona laughing) I'm like that.
I'm like that as well.
So Tyler, wow, so being a bus driver
is not all fun and games?
You have to deal with people who are misbehaving wildly.
Have you ever felt like you were threatened on the bus?
Oh, Conan, all the time, all the time, first off-
Wait, did you just fall in love with me?
(all laughing)
You went "Oh, Conan, oh."
Conan, I wouldn't be here
if that hadn't take place long ago.
Oh, that's nice. Thank you.
Thank you Tyler.