I'm done making League of Legends videos.
I'm sorry to my fans that only watch my League videos.
But please, go watch my other videos.
I put so much work into them,
And they are honestly way better.
I came to this decision
when I was playing on ranked for my new video,
where I was going to get diamond.
*DING*
Somehow we actually won this match.
And then, I was two points shy of a series,
when I encountered this player:
This Malphite would just run down everybody's lane
and feed kills until he was zero and nine.
Uh, we also had a Bard mid--
We also had that going.
And it was at this time
that I called this Malphite:
A fucking worthless braindead scumfuck
bastard pile of trash mental dickface
that should be gunned down in the street
like the degenerate he is.
*Sound effect*
Now there is so much wrong with this.
First, why am I being banned for
talking shit in a video game?
I can understand being banned for cheating,
or going AFK a bunch of times,
or picking Orianna AD Carry,
or feeding on purpose.
But talking shit to some guy
that is a total dumbass?
What is this, fucking pussy-ass
baby preschool time?
Talking shit is probably one of the
only fun parts of this boring ass game.
I might as well just play the bots if you want
people to act like robots, Riot.
*Silent Hill - Tears of .. begins playing* I wonder if they understand that the root of
toxicity is the game.
It's just not fun, and it pisses people off.
Let me be serious here:
League of Legends doesn't work as a competitve game
or a fun party game to play with your friends.
As of today, I have more than eight thousand matches played on this game.
So I have some legitimate grounds to review the game.
Laning Phase:
The other guy sits under his turret and farms creeps for twenty minutes.
Then the rest of the game is both teams walking around the map, accomplishing nothing,
Until some dumbass gets caught.
That's every match in a nutshell.
The death timers are too short.
The bounty system punishes you for doing good
The turrets are fucking annoying.
The rank system doesn't work at all.
Most of this is just the game constantly inhibiting
how good you can actually do.
In any great competitve video game,
there are so many techniques and opportunites
for a great player to just whoop some ass.
In League, you don't really have those options.
And because this game wants to cater
to the biggest audience possible to make the most money.
Like Call of Duty, it's just gonna stay that way. Forever.
And that's what I feel like I'm doing with my League videos.
Even though my appreciation for this game is waning all the time
and I wanna hit you guys with all these different kinds of videos.
I've stuck with it
Because I know my fans wanna see me play League
Now, I know some of you are out there like:
"But Dunkey, what about the Pro Players?"
Now, please understand this, Pro League of Legends
Has absolutely nothing to do with real League of Legends
The Pros are in matches were all 10 guys are
amazing at the game
In real League of Legends:
There's gonna be 3 decent guys, and 7 retards
At its best, League is just something to play
in the background while you
talk to your friends
but a lot of the time it's either:
Too frustrating or monotonous
If my friends actually get into it and try to win,
they'll just get mad at each other and start yelling
and get into a argument
Um, but most of the time, people just
keep Alt-Tabbing outta the game and pay very little
attention to the actual game, y'know
It just isn't engaging
and then the match stretches into the 40-50 minute mark
and nobody cares at all at that point
the matches just go on for way too long, everytime.
*Sad Music in the Background* So I'm not enjoying the game, nobody I'm playing with is enjoying it
but I still really want to finish this video up
for you guys, cause you know
once I get all the footage assembled
and I've accomplished what I've set out
to do for the video, that's when I have my fun,
making it come to life you know,
doing the editing, putting in the voiceover
that's the payoff for me, that's the enjoyable part
And I've been consistently putting out League videos.
Since I started out on YouTube
So i emailed Riot.
I said "Hey can you guys unban me
so i can finish this video up"
Now keep in mind during my whole career
of being the top guy promoting their game
for four years.
Riot has done almost nothing to help me out
or promote me.
And I emailed them for this first and only favor.
And they respond to me "nope you're toxic"
And this is when I realised
That this company doesn't appreciate me at all
Or anything I stand for
*Ending - Mother 2 begins in the background* I think multiplayer games should reward the time and practice
You put into them
And you should be able to call the people scumfuck bastards
And connect with your friends and have fun playing with them.
And League of Legends offers none of these things
So I'm done with it.
I'm done playing League of Legends
I'll continue to play videogames and make videos
because it's my passion.
I love to make you guys laugh.
I wanna keep making better videos .
And I wanna represent games that I truly enjoy
And League has lost my respect
And it's lost that magic that used to make so fun for me
And it's lost its soul
*Ending Theme - Super Mario World begins playing*
Oh this looks really interesting
Mhm, mhm. Yeah yea yeah yeah
I have now mastered Riven.
I'm trying to remember the song I made for Akali
And No! Not a sexy song.
Thinks he's winning. Thinks he's real good. And then i go BADABOOM! BADA...
*explosion sound*
And this guy doesn't like to bring any quints
No masteries, no moves.
I am not here to learn you how to play Xin Zhao.
We are you Chinese father *laughter*
Oh he put something-
I am going to see you grandpa.
*laughter*
*inaudible slowed speech*
I need Papa John's. I need one...
"This is not Papa Johns."
I need four pizzas
I need QUAD pizzas.
[Pizza Butt]: This is not Papa John's! [Dunkey]: Papa John I need you!!!
There is a girl in League of Legends
and she makes more money than all of us!
Wow!
She is a graphic designer that works for School of Rock!
Woahhh!
What's wrong with his leg? I think it's back leg broke off
*laughter*
Hey Shrek go over there.
Shrek: Wah! Woo-shu, woo-shu!
WALL-E: WALL-E!
It's level 3 here. Ugh, they found us!
It was a sting operation. It was a trap!
We've been set up!
Gay mouse in position.
IT'LL BE YEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-
*Inhales*
-EARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
[Thanks Dunkey for all the laughs over the years]