We’re all struggling with something in life
regardless of what someone’s life looks like on the outside,
each person is fighting their own battle.
Remembering this helps us judge less,
and have more empathy and compassion for others.
One of my favorite concepts is:
“your problems are your gifts.”
Instead of seeing problems as negative and something to avoid,
accept your challenges and problems as your gifts.
They’re here to teach you a lesson,
help you grow stronger,
and help you evolve into the person you’re meant to be.
Without them, we wouldn’t be able to grow into our best selves.
Think of how a diamond is formed under high pressure,
or a knife sharpened
by grinding against a rough, hard stone.
Our challenges shape us and sharpen us,
more than easy times ever will.
The point of life isn’t to avoid struggle or pain,
but to experience all of it.
The good and the bad, the highs and the lows.
We actually need that duality and polarity.
Without the lows, there wouldn’t be highs, and vice versa.
If there was only day without night,
summer without winter,
or happy without sad,
life would be one dimensional.
Having duality and polarity creates a spectrum,
a range of possible experiences,
allowing us to experience a greater range of life.
In short, it’s because you’ve experienced the lows
that you can deeply appreciate the highs.
Still, we want to overcome challenges with grace
and not make it any more difficult than it has to be,
so it’s important to make a distinction between
external challenges and internal challenges.
External challenges are challenges
that come from sources outside of our control.
It’s the challenges that life throws at us,
whether we were born into it or encounter it along our journey.
These are challenges to take with gratitude and grace,
and remember that there’s a larger purpose for them.
If we overcome them, we become a stronger,
more refined version of ourselves as a result.
And remember: although we can’t control what happens to us,
we can always choose how we respond.
We can respond by being frustrated and angry at our problem,
or we can choose to see it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
It is that choice that makes all the difference.
In a way, we also have a choice
whether to let that external challenge
become an internal one as well.
Internal challenges come from our own selves,
these are the struggles that are self imposed,
consciously or unconsciously,
like self criticism, self doubt, or self sabotage.
These are struggles with the mind,
and sometimes have the power to affect us
more deeply than external challenges do,
because they are never ending.
Events will pass,
but the thoughts and feelings we have about them
could linger if we allow them to.
These are the challenges that we must become aware of,
because they cause us more suffering than necessary.
We want to minimize these internal challenges,
so let’s talk about what we can do.
The first step is to recognize when you’re making life
more difficult because of the negative thoughts
going on in your head.
What does your self talk sound like?
Everytime you catch yourself thinking something
negative or hurtful to yourself, write it down.
After a week, you’ll have a list of your typical negative thoughts.
Sit with that list, and ask yourself:
do I want to carry these thoughts with me,
everyday, for the rest of my life?
Then, for each negative thought,
write a positive, supportive thought to replace the negative one.
Eventually you’ll have a list of positive affirmations
that you can repeat to yourself everyday,
to rewire your mind for positive thinking.
Another life-changing mindset is to release your expectations
and practice radical acceptance.
Expectations cause frustration, disappointment
and suffering when they aren’t realized.
When we’re tied to a certain outcome
and it doesn’t happen, we suffer.
Being attached to a desired outcome creates a resistance to reality.
What is happening is we’re refusing to accept reality
because it doesn’t meet the version of reality we hoped for.
Instead of having expectations,
practice radical acceptance for whatever happens.
You can still do your best,
but then let go of the outcome.
Accept the mistakes and mishaps,
accept the imperfection of life,
accept yourself as you are, and reality as it is.
We can’t expect ourselves to be perfect.
And we can’t expect life to be perfect either.
It’s the imperfections that make life more interesting anyway.
And it’s the fact that we’ve overcome so much,
that makes life more meaningful.