- Hi there!
I'm your English coach Christina
and welcome to Speak English with Christina,
where you'll learn American culture
and business know-how
to become confident in English.
Small talk or chit-chat
may feel awkward,
especially if you feel like you don't have
an arsenal of things that you can talk about.
However, chit-chat moments are great opportunities
for you to practice your English,
and one of the best reasons to engage
in chit-chat comes from my student Miguel.
During a Master Real American English session,
Miguel said that he enjoys practicing chit-chat
with English speakers because it helps him
to improve his pronunciation.
And also, he said that chit-chat
introduces him to natural phrases
that he can add to his own English.
Miguel is spot-on with this,
and this is just another reason
that I want to encourage you
throughout this lesson to chit-chat,
to make small talk, to make conversation
in English as often as you can.
And if you feel a little nervous
about what you're gonna say,
don't worry, in this episode,
you're gonna learn many easy practical things
that will make a big difference
in how you feel about small talk in English.
Let's go!
(bright music)
So many of my students feel awkward
making simple conversations like this.
But having the courage to start
these little conversations as often as possible
can make a huge difference
in your social relationships.
And that's why I'm creating a new course
to help you master social situations
and everyday conversations
in your professional life.
It teaches you how to socialize with confidence
and build up those important
personal and professional relationships,
to get techniques
to make you a good conversationalist,
as well as understand cultural differences
on a deeper level.
So if you want interesting conversations
without feeling awkward
and to make real connections in business,
there is a link in the show notes
with more information about the course.
(bright music)
Sometimes even native English speakers
can feel nervous making small talk or chit-chat.
Keep in mind that chit-chat isn't intended
to be a deep and profound experience.
No.
This isn't a job interview
and it's not a marriage proposal.
No, it's small talk.
It's a simple friendly conversation.
And small talk is actually
a healthy habit, too.
Because researchers are discovering
that when you make small talk,
you feel more positive
and connected with others,
and this positive effect can last for hours
after the conversation has ended.
Well, it's just another reason
to make more small talk.
(bright music)
To get small talk started,
find common ground.
Common ground could be a shared experience,
such as the weather, work life,
school or a networking event.
It could even be something
in the immediate environment,
such as a movie advertisement or a billboard.
For example.
Waiting for the bus gets boring
and if someone else is waiting too,
well, you could mention
the Batman film advertisement
that you happen to see on the bus stop
as a small talk opener.
And you could kick off the conversation with
"Oh, looks like the new Batman movie is coming out."
(bright music)
Next, share something about yourself.
And it doesn't have to be something
deeply personal, no.
But, for example.
Continuing our Batman small talk.
"I liked the special effects in the last Batman,
"but the story didn't blow me away.
"But I did see it over Christmas weekend
"so maybe I wasn't in the mood for an action flick."
(bright music)
Now that you've found common ground
and revealed something personal,
it's time to pass the ball,
the conversation ball, to the other person
and give them a chance to share.
Something as simple as
"Have you seen that movie yet?"
Of course referring to the movie
on the poster at the bus stop
that you're both standing at.
(bright music)
Lively chit-chat is fueled
by specific questions and answers.
Notice in my Batman example,
I specifically mentioned
the special affects, the story,
and having seen it over the holiday weekend.
These specifics give my conversation buddy
opportunities to continue the conversation
in a variety of ways.
They might mention a movie
they enjoyed with the terrific story.
Or they might mention something
that they do with their families
over the holidays or weekend.
In this way, specifics provide
many more ways to extend the conversation
rather than you just saying,
"I liked the last Batman movie."
(bright music)
Okay, so up until now, you have been
in chit-chat heaven.
Everything has gone perfectly and then
your chit-chat hits a moment of silence,
a long lol.
In English we call that an awkward silence.
But guess what?
I want you to use this awkward silence
as another opportunity
to practice your conversation skills.
If you feel awkward, chances are
that the person you're talking to
or were, was talking to,
until you hit that dreaded awkward silence,
feels uncomfortable, too.
Acknowledge that awkwardness and say something like,
"Well, I guess that pretty much sums it up."
Or "Yeah, it's a complicated subject.
"I'll have to think about that one."
If it is indeed a complicated subject,
if you're talking about the special effects
in the Batman movie, there is a better technique.
Continue the small talk by bringing up
another topic, or even bring up something
that was said earlier in the conversation.
For example.
If your conversation buddy mentioned
just buying a dog earlier in the conversation,
you could follow up on that and say,
"So about that dog you mentioned earlier.
"Have you come up with the name?"
Or "You said you got a dog recently.
"What kind of dog is it?"
(bright music)
Parroting is a specific form of active listening.
It can help
get the other person talking more
and feel more comfortable around you.
Parroting is also a good way for English learners
to clarify what someone said.
Parroting may also help
if you feel stuck in a conversation
and you're not sure how to respond.
Plus, it lets the other person know
that you're listening, and it feels good
to be listened to.
All you need to do
is repeat the last few words
that the other person said
and say it as a question
with your rising intonation.
For example.
You might see a colleague
carrying a big stack of papers and you say,
wow, that's a lot of paper work.
Busy day?
- Yes, I need to get some work done
before I leave for vacation.
- Ooh, vacation.
- Yes, I'm going to Hawaii next week.
Lots of work to do before my trip.
- Mm, Hawaii.
- Yes.
- One important thing is
not to overuse this technique.
For example.
It'll get uncomfortable
if you repeat everything
that your conversation partner says.
- Yes, I'm going to Hawaii next week.
- Oh, Hawaii.
- Yeah, for a family reunion.
- Mm, family reunion?
- Are you going to keep repeating
everything I say?
- Everything I say?
Err.
Not good, no.
(bright music)
Many of my students enjoy small talk and chit-chat
because mistakes may be easier to recover from
in small talk rather than a formal meeting.
If you take this attitude,
each time that you engage in chit-chat,
you can expect a mistake or two,
and that is fine.
Instead of feeling embarrassed or ashamed,
acknowledge the mistake and make a note of it
feeling grateful that you likely
won't make the same mistake
in a business meeting, for example.
(bright music)
For good small talk you have to listen
and think about what is said in the moment.
This listening means that we need
to be actively engaged and observant
during a conversation,
and act on what we notice
about what the other person said.
I've given you the techniques,
such as parroting, as well as easy ways
to keep a conversation flowing
by asking questions, getting specific,
and offering up personal details.
I hope this episode has given you
some ideas about small talk
so that you can be more confident
to strike up a conversation in English
with anyone that you come across.
So now, what about you?
Do you have any tips or strategies
about small talk in English?
If so, please share them in the comments.
And if you've been a student
of American English for years now
and you still feel awkward
making small talk,
check out my new course designed
to help you master social situations
and everyday conversations
in your professional life.
The link for more information
is below in the show notes.
Thank you so much for learning
with Speak English with Christina
and I'll see you next time!