- Hey Daniel good to see you.
- Always nice to meet a fan!
- No I'm--
Sorry I'm not a uh-
I'm an actor.
- Oh, good for you!
It's a dreadful business,
but hang in there.
- No I already did hang in there.
I'm BoJack Horseman,
we've actually met before,
at Chris Martin's holiday party.
- Mm?
- We stepped outside for a smoke,
to get away from Chris Martin.
- Huh...
- You opened up about your fear of success,
I gave you some advice,
you said I was a true friend and you would never forget me.
- And you said your name was Chadwick Boseman?
(funky music)
- I'm here with Hollywoo Darling,
Naomi Watts.
Tell me, what attracted you to the role of Diane?
- I just keep getting pigeon-holed
as these complex characters in highly-acclaimed movies.
For once I would just love to phone it in
and play a two-dimensional girl
in a rom-com with no inner life of her own.
That's kind of the reason I got into this business.
(laughing) - You said words!
- I don't know if I'm up for staging a bank robbery, BoJack.
- Oh come on character actress Margo Martindale,
they say there are no good parts
for women over 50.
I'm gonna stick and AK-47 in your hand
and prove them wrong.
- I do tire of the limitations
of stage, film, and television.
- And next we'll head to the kitchen where...
Is that Mila Kunis?
(crowd ooh's)
- [Narrator] The year was 2003,
and for some reason,
everyone was playing poker all of a sudden.
A then relevant,
Wilmer Valderrama,
used to host a weekly how-do-you-do,
and all the stars came out to show off their tricks.
There was Lucy Lawless,
Lucy Liu,
Lori Laughlin,
Lisa Loeb,
the dog from Fraiser!
- Well, nothing to see here I guess.
(vocalizing)
- Ah!
Jesus Christ!
My ankle.
- Oh my God!
American singer-songwriter Beyonce is hurt!
Somebody help her!
(doorbell ringing)
(door opening)
- Oh hi I'm--
- BoJack Horseman.
- Felicity Huffman?
- Looking for this?
- Yes!
- Well keep lookin' buddy.
You're a real piece of shit.
You know that?
(door slamming)
- Yes.
- So are we judging who has the best booty?
- Whoa BoJack!
No!
That is so degrading.
So if it's not about their butts,
then why is the other judge Sir Mix-a-lot?
Because I'm an honest and impartial judge.
And if there's one thing I'm famous for,
it's that I cannot lie.
- Oh my God!
You're Laura Linney!
- People say that to me all the time.
And it's true.
I am Laura Linney.
Excuse me,
can I get some more pretzels?
I'm Laura Linney.
- You know when I first heard Vance's comments,
they stung.
But when he called to offer his apology,
and a supporting roll in his next movie.
I thought does not the Torah teach us to forgive?
As it is written,
schmear don't smear.
- Hi Zach Braff!
Zach Braff.
Hey there famous actor Zach Braff,
how you doin?
- Tell me doc,
is she gonna be okay?
Oh doc!
I let her down.
- I'm tired of these politicians who are all talk!
California needs a leader who excels
in both comedy and drama,
and who is beautiful in an approachable girl-next-door way.
- Surprise!
Hello?
Anybody?
Uh this is Paul McCartney.
I came all this way to jump out of cake?
Put the new suit on.
(grumbling)
- Thank you Tina,
for those touching grunts and growls.
- Uh huh
- I'm Henry Winkler.
You probably remember me
for my 2002 guest role
on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.
(fan cheers)
Thank you.
- But perhaps, the greatest role
I've ever played is friend.
- It's Sharah Lynn and Andrew Garfield!
- Huh? (screams)
What the- (screams)
(horns blowing)
- And what's your name darling?
(grunts)
I'll just make it out to Evelyn.
(audience clapping)
- Thank you, Billy Crystal,
for that impression of a black person.
I'm Scott Wolf.
- And I'm Matthew Fox.
- We may be a group of five on T.V.
but any of these next nominees
would be welcome to join our party, any day.
- What's this assholes name again?
- Vincent D'onofrio.
- And here we are.
- Okay, action!
- Children, I'm a single breakdancing instructor
who can barely take care of himself.
Plus,
I'm too rad
to be a dad.
(gibberish)
(audience coughs) - Cut!
(upbeat music)
- Gloria Steinem,
one of the leading lights of modern feminism.
You will surely go down in annals of history
just as surely as Lisa Lampanelli will go down
in the locker room of the Houston Rockets.
(laughing)
(upbeat music)
- [Presenters] Morning Time Hollywoo.
- I'm a Ryan Seacrest type.
- And I'm a Billy Bush type.
- Welcome to the home of David Boreanaz.
Famous from television shows
such as Dramas
on Networks.
(country music)
♪ But I don't have much time ♪
- There's no one this town
loves forgiving more than Vance Waggoner.
(clapping)
- And the winner for best original song is
The Silly Banana Song parentheses Love Theme
from the Nazi who played Yahtzee
by Sarah Lynn.
Get your ass up here, girl.
(sneeze)
(screams)
- Cameron Crowe, you skinny bitch!
You know Jerry Maguire
is my favorite movie of all time.
All your films are so human.
Which is super impressive
since you're a crow.
- Uh well, my name is Cameron Crowe
but I'm actually a raven.
So, common miss conception.
- Well, whatever you are.
- A raven.
- I brought you this.
- Thank you so much Derek Jeter.
I thought a big baseball hot shot like you
would be too busy to help us old ladies
across the street.
- I always have time to look out for my elders.
(crash)
- That beheaded is right!
Fashion was never meant to be
an inherently elitist form.
- Nick, tell Janay to stock the warehouse
with red hoodies.
- This is the look of the future.
- Next question, what is my favorite kind of berry?
- Um...
- Barry Bostwick.
- Raspberry.
(buzzer)
- I'm so sorry.
The correct answer of course
was Barry Bostwick.
- How was I supposed to know that?
- Also, why is BoJack being played
by an old Mamashie
five foot tall bald guy.
Is that how the world sees me?
- Oh, I see.
So I can play Vanya on 42nd Street,
but I'm not a deft enough talent
to capture the essence of the illusive BoJack Horesman.
So sorry to offend you sir.
(drums)
- Is this
as good as it gets,
or are we living in the ghost town
where once my career did blossom.
Who will speak my name when I am gone?
Who will sing lamentations,
for he who once talked soup.
- Ah.
- It was through this pen that I bled.
Raise high the roof beam carpenters upon the page.
Also it has four different colors.
(phone ringing)
- [Phone] Hi, I'm Sarah Koenig.
This is one ringtone
told over course of several rings.
And the story it's telling you
is to answer your phone.
(sigh)
- Oh.
(ringing)
- [Phone] The house majority who've outlined
a new bipartisan plan to encourage
you to answer your ringing phone.
- [Phone] For Thursday October 12th,
this is all rings considered.
- [Phone] I'm Robert Siegel.
- [Phone] And I'm Audie Cornish.
- [Phone] I'm Peter Siegel don't wait, wait.
Do answer your phone.
- [Phone] Your telephone is ringing
I'm Ira Glass, thank you for being a sustaining member
of public radio.
Everyone has a story
and your phone story is that it's ringing.
- Excuse me, Hallo?