- Hey, this is Mat Boggs, the dating and relationship coach
for amazing women like you to expand the love in your life,
and today I'm gonna share with you five things
a man will do only when he really loves you.
Now before we get into these five things,
it's important to understand what I mean by the word love
'cause there's a lot of misconceptions
about what love really means,
and so I'm gonna borrow a definition
that I was taught by America's greatest marriages.
Couples have been married over 40, 50, 60, even 70 years,
and they would consistently tell me in these interviews
the statement that love is not a feeling.
Often times we get into this trance
that love is this feeling that we should have,
and it's elusive and we have to feel it
if we're gonna be in love.
They said no.
Love is a verb.
Love is the demonstration of the actions
that you're doing in the relationship.
Love is also a decision to act in that relationship
even when you don't feel like it.
But here's the thing.
As you listen to these five things,
know that your man does not have to have a perfect record
to actually demonstrate that he's loving you.
We just want him to have a winning record,
which means that he's doing these things more often than not
but no man and no woman quite frankly is perfect
at doing these things all the time.
So here we go.
Number one is he watches the movie that you want to watch.
Now, I know that might seem trite,
but it's underlying motivation here
that is the important key is that to your man your desires
and your preferences matter at the same level that his do.
Often times when my wife and I are gonna watch a movie,
I wanna watch the action movie,
and she wants to watch the romantic comedy,
and so we negotiate, right.
We give and take.
Sometimes we'll watch the action movie
because she's showing love to me,
and sometimes we watch the romantic comedy
because I'm showing love to her.
So it's not about always giving up your preference
for the other person.
It's about striking that balance,
and at least making their preference
hold the same weight as your own.
Number two is he wants you to feel good.
So he will go down on your worst days
to the store to pick up something that you need.
Now, I know what you were thinking,
and yes he will do that, too, if he really loves you,
but the point I wanna make on this one
is that men we want you to feel good,
and so even when it's not convenient,
even when it's not comfortable,
we will make an effort to give you what you need.
So if you're sick and it's the middle of the night,
and it's storming outside, yes he will get out of bed,
that cozy, warm bed, fight the storm,
go out in the cold, go to CVS,
get you the cough medicine, get you the Advil,
get you whatever you need so that you can feel better.
We don't always like it.
We might not always do it with a smile on our face,
but just the act of doing it is a great evidence of love.
Number three is he prioritizes time with you.
Now, this doesn't mean that he never takes time for himself
and goes hang out with his buddies,
'cause of course we all need time for ourselves.
We need time for our activities, but when it really matters,
it's an important moment for you, he's gonna be there.
There's a great concept that says
one way to spell love is L-O-V-E,
but another way to spell love is T-I-M-E.
It's actually your presence, spending quality time together
from moments that matter.
So if you have an important event
that you're giving a speech or a presentation,
he shows up to help you prepare.
He shows up on the day of the speech.
Or perhaps your friend is diagnosed with something,
and you're devastated and he's there to hold you.
Showing love is showing up for the people
that matter the most to us.
Now again, he doesn't have to have a perfect record at this,
but just winning a record at this is great demonstration
that he's loving you.
Number four is he will respect your boundaries,
especially when it comes to sex,
or being physical with one another.
People who push you to do things that you don't wanna do,
but they wanna do, that's not love, that's manipulation.
That's being selfish.
So he's gonna respect your boundaries,
and sometimes we don't know
where those boundaries are in all cases.
I'll give you a quick story.
When my wife and I were dating, we had gone to a restaurant,
and we were playing and having fun,
and so we were joking with one another,
and as we're leaving the restaurant,
we're kinda being playful and I'm kinda tickling her,
and at one point I jump to the side
and I kick her in the butt and she turns to me and she says,
honey, I like playing with you,
and I don't appreciate being kicked in the butt.
That's actually a little bit over the line for me,
so I'd appreciate it if you don't kick me in the butt,
and thinking back to it now, I'm imagining the scene.
We're in a restaurant, right.
We're leaving the restaurant,
and that's not how I really wanna be
and show love to my woman is to kick her in the butt,
so it's embarrassing for me to even had done that
thinking back to that now but what I appreciated
was that she told me her boundary,
and I was completely willing to say you know what,
that's not how you wanna play,
that's not how you wanna tease back and forth,
I'm down with that.
Let's do something that feels good to you,
and be playful with one another.
So, one way to love each other is
by you respecting his boundaries,
and him respecting your boundaries as well.
And number five is he loves for you, imperfections and all.
He's not gonna try to play on your insecurities
and make you feel bad about yourself for not being perfect.
He's not gonna make you feel bad
for not having a perfect body,
or try to live up to some impossible standards that he has,
but instead he finds you beautiful for being you,
and he finds you beautiful even on your worst days,
and he cherishes the fact that he gets to see you
behind the scenes when no one else gets to see you,
and he finds you beautiful in those moments.
On the early mornings when you don't have any makeup on,
and you've got your glasses on,
and you've got your nose strip on.
You've got that crazy bed head going on.
Hair all messed up.
You've got your retainer in,
and you even got some dragon breath going on.
He's cherishing the early morning version of you.
He's loving on you and you can feel
that loving coming from him,
and that full acceptance from him,
just like you are accepting him for who he truly is.
So there you have it.
Five things that a man will do when he truly loves you,
and again, he doesn't have to have a perfect score,
but just a winning score.
So doing these things more often than not
are great demonstrations of his love for you,
and quite frankly, you doing these things
for your man is also a demonstration of love.
So what I would love to hear from you is
what do you do for your man when you're showing him love?
Go 'head and post a comment in the comments section below.
Share with me how do you show love
to someone when you really loving them.
Go ahead and post that comment below,
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about love, dating, communication,
and how to help you expand the love in your life.
Thanks so much for watching.
I'll see you soon.