Normal Ambivalence:
When we have a sense of confidence in God mixed with feelings of fear and anxiety,
we should accept these conflicting experiences as part of being followers of Jesus Christ.
Here now is Gene Getz:
David had conflicting feelings
when he wrote this psalm. And what he is demonstrating is humanness.
And we can all identify with it. Note first, we see his confidence in God. He wrote:
"The LORD is my light and my salvation--
whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life--
of whom should I be afraid?"
I mean that's a very positive statement about his confidence in God.
But notice what we read in verse 9.
His fear of abandonment.
Here you see the ambivalence in his life. And he says:
"Do not hide Your face from me; do not turn Your
servant away in anger.
You have been my help; do not leave me or abandon me,
God of my salvation."
So here you have confidence. You have
fear. You have ambivalence.
And basically I think what he is saying is
this is human. We all have these
experiences. But in the midst of this, notice David goes on
in spite of his ambivalence to give us reassurance. He says:
"Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD cares for me."
I know that's true, he's saying. I know that if
everyone abandoned me, even my dad and mom,
the Lord will not. And in essence,
he's also saying, I don't feel it right now. I don't sense it right now.
But I know that God will not abandon me.
It reminds me of Job. Remember in the midst of all of his difficulties?
When his wife said, "Curse God and die." And he said,
"Though He slay me, I will trust Him." And in a sense, that's what
David is saying here. I know that He will not
abandon me ultimately. And then you have
what I've called "David's certainty."
As he goes on and writes in verse 13:
"I am certain that I will see the LORD's goodness in the land of the living."
It's coming because God will not forsake
me. So in the midst of his ambivalence,
he is saying, I know
that God won't abandon me. Although I feel that and I'm praying that He won't.
I know that He will not. And so
he gives us words of encouragement which I think is very logical
coming in verse 14:
"Wait for the LORD; be strong and courageous.
Wait for the LORD."
In other words what he is saying is, I'm in a time of difficulty. You'll be in a time of difficulty.
You will be ambivalent. You'll even
feel that God has abandoned you. But He won't.
Be patient and wait
for the Lord. Be strong and courageous in the midst
of your fear and your difficulty and your ambivalence.
So this is a great psalm in terms
of humanness. And as I was thinking about
a New Testament illustration of this, I was reminded the man who
came to Jesus on behalf of his son.
And the Lord asked him about belief. And he said, Lord,
"I do believe!" I do believe! "Help my unbelief."
Now there you have ambivalence.
And there you have reality. And I think
that there is a time for all of us when we say, Lord,
"I believe. Help my unbelief." It's not a black-and-white situation.
There's a blending here within this
ambivalence. In fact, you see that throughout the whole gospel of John.
Of the development of faith. In a sense, Lord, "I believe. Help my unbelief."
Lord, "I believe. Help my unbelief." That was the process that the apostles went through
as you read the gospel of John. You also see a process of unbelief
as the followers of Jesus-- who were true and loyal to Him--
grew and developed in their faith throughout the gospel of John.
You also see the development of
unbelief. Hardness of heart. Hardness of heart.
Particularly in the lives of the Pharisees.
Growth and faith. Growth and unbelief.
What God wants us to do is continually grow.
And we need to pray that prayer: Lord, "I believe.
Help my unbelief."
Now here's the interesting thing. Let me take you to the Garden
of Gethsemane where:
"[Jesus] fell face-down
and he prayed, 'My father!
If it is possible, let this cup pass from Me.' "
That's ambivalence in His humanity.
"If it is possible, let this cup pass from Me."
I don't want to suffer this way.
"Yet not as I will, but as You will."
That's ambivalence in the Son of God.
And because He experienced that,
He can be our great high priest.
Listen to the author of Hebrews:
"For we do not have a high priest who is
unable to sympathize with our weaknesses," ...
He's been there in ways that we've not been there.
That's hard for me to understand, comprehend. But I believe that statement.
"We do not have a high priest who is unable
to sympathize with our weaknesses,
but One who has been tested in every way
as we are, yet without sin."
Why was He without sin? Because He was the God-man.
But in His humanity, He identified
with all the experiences of humanity. And so it says:
"Therefore let us approach the throne of grace with
boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace
to help us at the proper time."
Jesus faced ambivalence in His humanity. So here's the reflection and response:
How does the kind of ambivalence David felt
differ from what James called being a "doubter" and "indecisive"?
Remember what James wrote?
In James chapter 1, verses 6 through 8, he said:
"But let him ask in faith without doubting.
For the doubter is like the surging sea,
driven and tossed by the wind. That person should not
expect to receive anything from the Lord.
An indecisive man is unstable in all his ways."
Now to me, there's a difference between a person who experiences ambivalence,
which is a normal part of life, and a person
who is indecisive and always doubting.
Always thinking in terms of
what is not true. Always
in an unstable situation.
Moving in the wrong direction and living his life
in that way. And then expecting God to answer prayer.
God said no. But the point is, God does
understand ambivalence.
Cause we all have it. And He wants us
to follow David's example and trust God
even when we're feeling ambivalent. To wait on the Lord.
And not allow Satan to sidetrack us into a state of unbelief and doubt
that is out of His will. So here's the principal to live by:
When we have a sense of confidence in God
mixed with feelings of fear and anxiety, we should accept these
conflicting experiences as part of being followers of Jesus Christ.