-Before we get started with this, I just want to say
the President started a press conference
at around 5:00 tonight. We tape at 6:30.
It was still going on when we started,
and so I just want to thank, in advance,
everybody who works on "A Closer Look,"
because they were pulling clips
right up to when I walked out here, so...
If this looks crazy, one, it already was crazy,
two, it's because it was doing it in realtime.
So here we go.
President Trump just held a crazy solo press conference
in New York where he defended his Supreme Court nominee
Brett Kavanaugh from sexual-assault allegations.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]
Trump, of course, lies freely to his adoring fans
at rallies and on Fox News.
But yesterday, at the United Nations,
we saw what happens when he steps outside his bubble.
He repeated a ludicrous campaign talking point,
and the crowd laughed at him.
-In less than two years, my administration
has accomplished more than almost any administration
in the history of our country.
America's -- So true.
[ Laughter ]
Didn't expect that reaction, but that's okay.
[ Laughter ]
-He had no idea what he was saying was funny.
[ Laughter ]
It's like he's been playing for the Harlem Globetrotters
his whole life, and suddenly
they're playing against the Golden State Warriors.
[ Laughter ]
"What do you mean technical foul?
I always use this ladder."
[ Laughter, cheers, applause ]
Now the U.N....
The U.N. used to be a solemn, dignified place,
and now Trump has turned it into the studio audience
from "Married...with Children."
From now on, all of Trump's speeches
should come with a sitcom disclaimer.
[ Laughter and applause ]
It's such a bummer to watch world leaders
sit around and laugh at us.
I just wish somebody would run for President
promising to do something about it.
-The world is laughing at us.
The world is laughing at us. They think we're stupid.
They think our representatives don't know what they're doing.
They laugh at us behind our back.
-See? He fixed it. [ Laughter ]
Now, instead of laughing behind his back,
they laugh right in his face.
[ Cheers and applause ]
But Trump, of course...
Trump cannot abide being humiliated
or exposed as the liar he is, so later in the day,
when he was asked about the laughter,
he made this preposterous claim --
he meant to get laughed at.
-Oh. It was meant to get laughter?
So you've been doing that joke for two years,
and the first time it ever worked
was at the U.N.? [ Laughter ]
"You guys are a great audience.
My usual crowd doesn't get that one."
That was not meant to get laughter.
Trump's like the kid at the sleepover
who wakes up with his hand in warm water and says,
"Oh, good. I meant to pee my pants."
[ Laughter ]
But this incident was a deeply revealing look
at the ways in which Trump and his sycophants
lie and then create alternate realities
to justify those lies.
Because this morning, his aides and supporters
on state TV adopted his line
and insisted that the crowd was actually laughing with him.
-When he said that, they loved how honest he is.
And it's not diplomatic, and they find it funny.
-I like the President. I like his comment.
I like the reaction.
And then, when he said, "I wasn't expecting that reaction,"
I liked it when everyone laughed afterwards.
I was surprised, or should I say, not surprised
but taken aback by the way other people said,
"Oh, the world's laughing at us."
I think that we're having fun.
-So, to recap, Trump lied, got laughed at,
and then lied about getting laughed at,
and then Fox News lied about Trump's lie
about how he got laughed at for lying.
And Trump's claim that he's accomplished more
than any administration in history
wasn't the only laugh line in his speech.
He also repeated a debunked talking point
that he's used before that Germany is becoming
dependent on Russia for oil and gas.
And when the camera took a crowd shot of the German delegation,
they seemed to be laughing at him.
-Germany will become totally dependent on Russian energy
if it does not immediately change course.
Here in the Western hemisphere,
we are committed to maintaining our independence
from the encroachment of expansionist foreign powers.
[ Laughter ]
-Look... [ Cheers and applause ]
Look at that dude's face.
You know it's bad when you've made the Germans laugh.
[ Laughter ]
In Germany, that face is the equivalent
of a Steve Harvey laugh.
-[ Laughing ]
-Trump kept undercutting his speech by embarrassing himself.
In fact, in that same clip, he tried to deride
international organizations by calling them expansionists,
but he couldn't even say the word.
-Here in the Western hemisphere,
we are committed to maintaining our independence
from the encroachment of expansionist foreign powers.
-Why does he slur his words so much?
Trump's a teetotaler, and yet in the middle of the speech,
he still got pulled over for a DUI.
[ Laughter ]
In fact, later in his speech, Trump did it again
when he misread the phrase "human smuggling,"
but in a classic Trump move, he tried to pretend
that what he accidentally said was what he meant to say.
-The United States is also working with partners
in Latin America to confront threats
to sovereignty from uncontrolled migration.
Tolerance for human struggling
and human smuggling...
[ Laughter ]
-"Human juggling."
[ Laughter ]
That's right -- human struggling,
as in, "I watched the President's U.N. speech
and saw a human struggling to pronounce words."
[ Laughter ]
So, this week -- [ Cheers and applause ]
We've seen, this week, that there's an entire
right-wing propaganda machine
to insulate Trump and his inner circle
from the reality of their lies
and the consequences of their actions.
Let's not forget Trump's Supreme Court nominee
Brett Kavanaugh did the exact same thing.
The very first words Kavanaugh spoke
to the American people after Trump nominated him
were a flagrant and obvious lie.
-Mr. President, thank you.
Throughout this process, I have witnessed firsthand
your appreciation for the vital role of the American judiciary.
No President has ever consulted more widely
or talked with more people from more backgrounds
to seek input about a Supreme Court nomination.
-That was such an obvious and shameless lie.
Trump was handed a list by a conservative think tank,
and he picked a name from that list.
Can you imagine if Kavanaugh had said that
in front of the U.N. General assembly?
-No President has ever consulted more widely
or talked with more people from more backgrounds...
[ Laughter ]
...to seek input about a Supreme Court nomination.
-Now, Kavanaugh's willingness to lie so shamelessly
in that first speech and in his Fox News interview this week
has wrecked his credibility as he faces
horrific, credible new allegations
from a third woman, Julie Swetnik.
In fact, Kavanaugh's account of his supposedly pristine,
choir-boy high school and college days
in that Fox News interview on Monday
has since been challenged by many of his own classmates.
For example, nearly a dozen people
who knew him well and socialized with him
said Kavanaugh was a heavy drinker in college,
with one saying Brett was a sloppy drunk
and another saying he was frequently incoherently drunk.
And in his high school yearbook,
he listed himself as the treasurer
of the "Keg City Club -- 100 kegs or bust."
In fact, he was so drunk for his high school history class,
that when he was asked to describe the U.N.,
he called it... -Expansionist.
[ Laughter ]
-And on top of that, Mark Judge, Kavanaugh's friend and classmate
and the man who was allegedly present
during the incident described by Dr. Christine Blasey Ford,
wrote a memoir about his drunken past, called "Wasted," in 1997.
And in that memoir, he doesn't name Kavanaugh specifically
but he does reference a character who passes out drunk
and throws up in a car named Bart O'Kavanaugh."
[ Laughter ]
Dude, you couldn't come up with a better fake name
for Brett Kavanaugh?
"Hey, man, I'm gonna put you in my book."
"All right, but make sure you change my name."
"Don't worry, dude. No one will know it's you."
[ Laughter, cheers, applause ]
Now, let's make something clear.
Getting drunk in high school, getting drunk in college
is not in itself suspicious, nor is it disqualifying
for the Supreme Court.
But Lying about it definitely is,
especially when the women credibly accusing you
of sexual assault say you were drunk when you did it,
and yet, in his Fox News interview,
Kavanaugh was adamant that he was never blackout drunk.
-Was there ever a time that you drank so much
that you couldn't remember what happened the night before?
-No. That never happened.
-You never said to anyone,
"I don't remember anything about last night"?
-No. That did not happen.
-Except people who knew you say it did happen.
Kavanaugh lies so much, at this point,
I'm expecting him to leave during the hearing tomorrow
and come back in with a fake mustache.
[ Irish accent ] "This man is innocent.
I'm the one who's guilty."
The name's Bart O'Kavanaugh." [ Laughter ]
"And I'm from Ireland City, Ireland."
[ Cheers and applause ]
So, Kavanaugh's classmates say he was frequently drunk,
and Kavanaugh's own credibility is in tatters,
and yet yesterday, during a meeting
with the president of Colombia,
Trump stood firmly behind Kavanaugh.
-I mean, charges come up from 36 years ago
that are totally unsubstantiated?
I mean, you, watching this, as the president
of a great country, Colombia,
you must say, "How is this possible?"
-Don't bring him into this!
[ Laughter ]
Look at him.
[ Laughter and applause ]
He looks like he's sitting in the front row at a magic show.
"Don't pick me. Oh, please, don't pick me."
[ Laughter ]
Now, late today, right before we started taping the show,
Trump held a rare solo press conference.
Now, a lot of what you're gonna hear
is gonna sound insane, but don't worry.
Trump established that he is not insane
and is, in fact, very intelligent.
-If you look at, Mr. Pillsbury, the leading authority on China,
he was saying that China has total respect for Donald Trump
and for Donald Trump's very, very large a-brain.
[ Laughter ]
-"A-brain."
[ Laughter and applause ]
"Some have said my brain is a spicy meatball."
[ Laughter ]
So, today, Trump's Supreme Court nominee
was credibly accused of sexual assault by multiple women
and his confirmation is in serious doubt.
But I got to say, it seems like Trump's handling it pretty well.
-If we brought George Washington here,
and we said, "We have George Washington,"
the Democrats would vote against him.
We paid $1.8 billion in cash -- cash -- this whole room
would be filled up with hundred-dollar bills.
"This is so-and-so calling..." He took the call.
Why is he taking a call from a Russian?
It's a con job, and it's not a bad term.
I'm a very famous person, unfortunately.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
On that we're in agreement.
[ Laughter, cheers, applause ]
From there, Trump went off the rails,
attacking the women alleging sexual assault against Kavanaugh
and claiming the entire process was a conspiracy.
-I think when you really look at it all,
it's not gonna change any of the Democrats' minds.
They're obstructionists.
They're actually con artists, because they know
how quality this man is, and they've destroyed
a man's reputation.
And they know it's a big, fat con job.
-A big, fat con job?
I'm pretty sure those were the results from Trump's physical.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Now Trump responded to the third allegation today
by focusing on her lawyer, Michael Avenatti,
the same lawyer who represented Stormy Daniels in a case
that ended with Trump's personal lawyer Michael Cohen
pleading guilty to crimes involving Trump.
-Are they liars?
-I can't tell you. I have to watch tomorrow.
I'll have to read --
I just heard about one a little while ago.
I can tell you her lawyer is a lowlife, okay?
-Oh, come on. If he was such a lowlife,
you would've hired him.
[ Laughter ]
"Is he available? I love that guy."
Trump also cast out on the details of the allegation,
suggesting that no one knows when they actually happened.
-Whether it was a man or a woman 30 years ago, 36 years ago --
In fact, they don't even know how many years ago.
Because nobody knows what the time is.
-Just because you don't know doesn't mean nobody knows.
[ Laughter ]
If someone asked Trump the name of his son,
Trump would say, "No one knows." [ Laughter ]
And as usual, he concocted a deluded conspiracy theory,
claiming the Democrats had made up the allegations
and that they knew they were false.
-They go into a room, and I guarantee you
they laugh like hell at what they pulled off on you
and on the public.
They laugh like hell.
-No, dude. They're not the ones laughing.
You're thinking of the United Nations.
[ Laughter ]
This whole thing, of course,
it's straight out of Donald Trump's playbook.
He's denied the many credible sexual-assault allegations
against him and viciously attacked the women
making those accusations, and he did the same thing today.
-I've been accused. False accusations.
Excuse me. -How have those --
-And I was accused by, I believe it was four women.
You can check with Sean Hannity.
-Oh! We should ask Sean Hannity?
You're never in a good place
when your first character witness is Sean Hannity.
[ Laughter ]
"I didn't eat that guy.
Just ask my pal Hannibal Lecter.
[ Laughter and applause ]
So, Trump defended a man credibly accused
of sexual assault today in a solo press conference
that was off the rails and made it clear
that he is definitely a...
-Human struggling.
-This has been "A Closer Look."
[ Cheers and applause ]