- One concept that is somewhat difficult to
understand is masculine and feminine energy
and really what is feminine
and what is masculine and how do they interact?
So today I'm gonna share with you three feminine qualities
that the masculine energy finds highly attractive.
Check it out.
(twinkling music)
Hey there, my name's Mat Boggs and I am the founder
of the love and relationships division here
at the Brave Thinking Institute,
where our mission is empowering people
to create and live a life they love.
And that includes your love life.
So if you like this video,
I encourage you to click that little subscribe button
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Because every week we bring you videos to empower you
in your love life.
And today we're talking about masculine
and feminine energy and specifically three qualities
that men find highly attractive
and that they find seductive, even.
Let's actually define what does seductive mean?
And seductive means having an alluring or tempting quality.
And so we were like, okay, the feminine energy
doesn't have to be sexual to be seductive.
In fact, there's lots of things
in our lives that are seductive that aren't sexual.
Case in point,
so I was brainstorming this with my team and I said,
well, let's come up with some of those.
And the first one they got thrown
out was Olive Garden bread sticks.
(he laughs)
And I was like, have you ever been in Olive Garden?
And you've seen those bread sticks?
(seductive music)
Now those bread sticks are not sexual,
but they are seductive.
Why? Because they're tempting.
They're alluring, they caused you to want them,
your mouth is watering just thinking about
those Olive Garden breadsticks, right?
What else is seductive that's not sexual?
Well Netflix series, right?
How often have you watched that Netflix episode
and you're like, I've gotta watch the next one.
They're tempting you.
It's calling, it's alluring, it's sedu--
You go through, you binge watch the whole season
in one night because it's seducing you
all the way through.
Seduction doesn't have to be sexual.
Now it can be sexual, 'cause there's a whole lot of
powerful energy in sexual energy.
But those two things don't always have to be connected.
Right, so what is feminine energy that is seductive,
that is alluring, that is tempting,
that draws in the masculine?
Because you and I both know that masculine and
feminine energy has nothing to do with our gender.
Both men have masculine and feminine energy.
Women have masculine and feminine energy.
You probably have a home base,
meaning you tend to feel more comfortable
in more masculine or more feminine energy.
Men have a home base.
They tend to feel more comfortable
in their masculine or more comfortable in their feminine.
But here's the deal.
It's a spectrum.
You can move up the scale.
You can become more masculine,
or you can become more feminine.
And so many of the women that I coach,
they run their own businesses,
they're executives, they're professionals,
they're go-getters, they're entrepreneurs.
And they've learned to grow their business
or lead their teams in masculine energy.
And so they're finding it challenging to
attract a masculine man because they're smart.
And they know that masculine
and feminine energy are polar energies,
meaning they attract one another.
But just like two poles on a magnet,
you flip that magnet around,
masculine repels masculine energy.
So if you want a masculine man, a man who takes initiative,
a man who leads, a man who plans, a man who wants to be part
of the providing force of that relationship.
You want that masculine energy,
you've got to crank up your feminine energy
when you're in the relationship.
And so one of my clients recently was asking
about this and saying, what are some easy things I can do?
What can I do to help dial up my feminine energy?
Because I really do want a masculine partner.
And so today I'm gonna share
with you three things that are easy to do.
Number one is stand your feminine ground.
And here's what I mean,
as I shared with you before,
masculine and feminine energy exist on a continuum.
So your man can be masculine,
but he can draw into his feminine energy real quickly
if you jump into your masculine.
Standing your feminine ground means
when your man isn't quite in his masculine energy,
you actually double down on your feminine energy
and it will draw him into his masculine.
And that is highly attractive.
A case in point, an example of this,
on my very first date with my wife, Irene,
I flew to Southern California for some business.
I had met her in Southern Cali.
I lived in Oregon.
We were a long distance for like eight months.
So the first date is after a month of meeting,
I go to her house to pick her up,
and she jumps in the car and she goes, where are we going?
And I said, well, I don't know.
This is your town.
Tell me where you want to go
to dinner and I'll take you there.
And in that moment, what was I being?
I was actually shifted into my feminine.
I was responding to her initiative, her plan
and what she wanted to do.
That is masculine qualities is creating a plan,
have been being directive.
And she was beautiful in that moment.
She sat back in her seat and she was like,
well actually you asked me on a date.
I want you to choose the place.
Now I'm not from Southern California.
I didn't know where to go.
And so little beads of sweat started to form on my forehead.
My palm started to get sweaty and I was like, uh,
I kind of flipped open my phone.
I was looking for a place really quick.
I was unprepared, not my finest moment.
And she kind of jumped in and she helped a little bit.
And she goes, you know, Mat, I like sushi.
And I like Italian.
Either one of those places would be fine.
So look for one like that.
And so I found a sushi spot and had five star reviews.
I was like, all right, cool.
So I said, well, let's go here.
Pulled the car outta the driveway and we were off.
But something shifted in me in that moment
because masculine energy loves the risk
and the reward of taking a risk and achieving it.
You see, because I picked the restaurant.
I didn't know if she was gonna like it or not.
It was a risk.
It was uncertain.
It was way more adventurous.
If she had just told me, let's go
to this particular, you know, let's go to Shioshi Sushi.
Well, less risk.
I know she loves it, she picked it.
Because I took her to this spot,
when we got there and it was cool
and I saw her face and she smiled,
I felt this burst of accomplishment of masculine energy.
When we ordered the sushi and it was great,
I said, how was dinner?
She was like, I loved it.
And she said, you made a great choice.
Boom. I felt this burst of competence
fill me up my own masculine energy increased.
Why? Because she wasn't willing to save my ass,
jump in and be the masculine for me.
She stayed grounded in her feminine energy.
She had enough confidence
and enough patience to let me lead.
And that actually paved the way
for the greatest love story of my life.
And I am so grateful for her in that moment.
So tip number one is stand your feminine ground.
The second strategy that can help you amplify
feminine energy is to create
through invitations instead of directives.
And here's what I mean, masculine energy directs the energy.
It says, here's what we're gonna do.
Here's what the plan is.
Here's the directives, feminine energy creates invitations.
It creates a space,
an opportunity for masculine energy then to fill.
And so it's very interesting.
It's not that feminine energy doesn't create.
It's how feminine energy creates.
It doesn't mean feminine energy doesn't lead,
but it's how the feminine energy leads.
Masculine energy, if you can imagine is more pushing energy,
feminine energy is more pulling energy.
And so one of the ways that you can pull your man in,
that alluring seductive energy, is by making requests,
letting him know something that you would love.
You can say, you know what, honey,
I would love to go on a romantic date this weekend.
Would you be willing to make that happen for us?
Boom. You've just given him a micro mission.
You've just created an opening space.
This is what you would love.
This is the objective.
This is the goal, masculine energy loves to accomplish
the goal, loves to achieve whatever it is
that you have said you have wanted,
to provide you with that experience.
You're gonna say, you know what?
I'm really craving sushi.
I'm really craving Italian.
I'm really craving this kind of food.
Would you take me out this weekend?
Ooh, I love that phrase.
Would you take me out?
You could even say, hey,
let's go get some sushi this weekend.
You could say that, but it's not quite as seductive.
It's not quite as attractive
as being in the feminine saying, God,
I would really love this kind of food.
I'm really craving this right now.
Would you take me to go get this?
It's just positioning, isn't it?
Same dynamic, same creative force.
You're gonna go create this together,
but you're actually empowering him to lead
with his masculine.
Very, very, very powerful technique.
I invite you to try it out.
See what happens.
Now, if you know that really increasing your feminine energy
would serve you in attracting the relationship
that you want,
then I'm gonna post a link in the comment section below
and also in the description, click that link.
And I invite you to check out the manifest your man program.
Because every month we open up that program
for women who wanna learn exactly
what's required to manifest their man
and to create the relationship they've always wanted.
It's an amazing community of women.
I'm coaching you personally.
It's an incredible journey.
Check out that link.
See if it's a good fit for you
because if it is, it will absolutely accelerate
you attracting the relationship that you want.
And the third feminine habit
that men find highly attractive,
and this comes right on the heels of the first two
where you've stood your feminine ground,
where you have created invitations
for him, is to hero-size him instead of criticize him.
And here's what I mean.
You've created an invitation.
You've given him a micro mission, or a goal,
something to achieve, when he leans in to achieve it,
when he tries to do something
for you that he believes you want, even on a small scale
when you hero-size him versus criticize him,
in other words, point out what he did well
instead of how he missed the mark.
Point out how he showed up instead
of how he didn't show up, point out what you loved instead
of what the small things you didn't love.
When you focus on those things, you hero-size him.
You help him feel like a hero.
And every man, his greatest desire is to feel
like the man you want him to be in your life.
Every man's greatest desire is to earn your respect,
to feel capable, to feel competent in your eyes.
That's what he wants.
And so when you acknowledge him
he literally feels like a hero.
You will see his chest puff out.
He'll start to walk around like this.
He'll kind of get that man struck going on
and you'll laugh because you know, you've just hero-sized
him and that's why he's feeling all good.
Likewise, you criticize him and he'll
either get defensive or he will shrink down.
And neither of those two responses build more connection
between the two of you.
So the more you, it doesn't mean you don't bring
up stuff that he's done wrong.
It doesn't mean you don't talk about things you want to fix.
There's a time and place for that, but make sure
that if you're wanting to amplify your feminine energy,
give him that invitation.
And then when he does it, hero-size him.
Appreciate him.
Celebrate him.
Set him know how it it's affected you emotionally.
Gosh, I love this.
It's made me so happy and he will get that puffed
up feeling that masculine energy will raise up.
And the attraction between the two
of you will be at an all time new high.
So there you have it,
three simple powerful habits that can amplify
your feminine energy.
My question for you is what have you found has
helped you amplify your feminine energy when
your man might even be wobbling and going kind of
in and out of his own masculine and feminine energy.
If you wanna draw him into his masculine
what are the things that you do?
Go ahead and post those in the comment section below
and here's to your amazing love life.
Thanks for watching.
I'll see you soon.
(upbeat music)