Name three of the best memories about our relationship.
Three of the best memories?
K- That's why I think it's so hard. C- It's hard because there is so many
I think the memories I'm going to pick are ones that made me laugh.
Almost breaking into that Japenese man's home.
[Laughing]
That's one.
I think, finding out that I was pregnant with Jackson
That was like surreal.
Seriously, I was like "Hey!"
It really does happen, egg and sperm
I was like, "Wow, cool!"
Okay, that's two.
I don't know.
It's hard because-- our conversations that we have almost everyday.
Drinking tea, getting lost.
Shorter.
Maybe.
Just pick some from all the things you remember.
Maybe that long trip to New Jersey that took two or three hours to see that house
and getting lost in the corn field, and taking some strange ride from a stranger,
and wondering if we were going to get killed.
Because I was with you, it was fun.
And we survived.
Are there times when being deaf affects our relationship?
Yes.
Oh, bring it on-- do tell, do tell, do tell.
You already know this, but I feel like I can't go out as much as I want to because
we're around people who don't sign. And then,
either I have to interpret or I feel like you're left out, and I don't like that.
Um...
I think that we're less social because of that, partly.
Really?
A little bit yeah.
Can we change that?
I hope so.
I mean, It's not a huge deal.
I'm used to it already.
But that bothers me a little bit
Because if you want to be out more, I dont't want my deafness to stop --
It's not really out like going dancing.
It's more like-- you know the group where I go with the Russians?
I like--- I like that. I would love to bring you more.
I feel like it's--- it's both--
When we're there, people don't come up to us because we're signing.
We are not welcoming.
They can't just come and be like, "So what are you guys talking about?"
You know, they can't.
So it becomes our own little bubble.
That, and me having to wake up when the baby cries because you can't hear it.
Oh.
That's on you, honey.
Too bad.
Yeah, that's on you, honey that's on you.
C- Because I had to nurse all night. K- It's on me?
I'm not going to take the second one to heart, but the first one--
But seriously, the first one, I never really thought of it that way.
Where you feel like people kind of repel from us because of the signing.
Well, because they don't know how to behave.
That's fine, that's fine.
I'm just saying that as a deaf person I never stopped to think that I'm like
a bug repellent. Okay?
No...
No no no, but it's a fact. It's a fact.
Because the last time we went to the Russian group...
Remember?
At the bar?
Yes.
And I sat there, and there was some captions on TV;
I was watching, and you were out mingling.
But that's---that's not what I want.
K- I don't want-- C- But I was fine with that
I'm not going to go with you and then have you sit separately while I'm
chatting, looking at you, and people are asking me-- C- I didn't mind.
-- what she's doing there by herself?
But I didn't mind that
I understand, but it's not comfortable.
We've had this discussion, so now we can just go ahead
If there's more events coming up, can you just go?
I'm going to try. That's why I told you that I'm going to go tonight
My only problem is you wait until the last minute to tell me, that's an issue, but...
You know, I don't want my deafness or anything about me
To stop you from being the person that you're supposed to be.
When was the last time you wish you could hear?
Maybe five minutes after arriving here.
There was so much talking going on, I didn't understand what was going on.
I gotta lip read everybody.
But that's something that happens to you often.
Then, very often, I wish I could hear again.
If I never had any hearing maybe I wouldn't care so much, but I already had the experience,
So I'm already frustrated when I know that I can't be as active as I was before.
That makes it difficult.
I get slammed in my face each time someone comes to me and says something.
I can't lipread them, I don't understand what they are saying, I'm like--
Because I feel like less than. I don't have the ability to have a full conversation.
I then have to work triple hard just to match them.
Yeah.
do you wonder what Jackson sounds like?
Oh yeah, that's why I'm always tapping, "What did he say? What did he say?"
It's painful.
That's why you want him to sign more.
But still- he's hearing. He still talks.
It doesn't matter, it's not about that, I mean...
The pain, you can't take that away.
You were telling me, I think...
Last year, in the back of the car, he was singing.
I'm looking at him like, "what's he singing?" I mean ...
You can't give that back to me, it doesn't matter if he signs. He was singing!
He imitates me so much. I am not even aware of it.
[Laughing]
It sucks. That's all I can say, it sucks!
Do you feel like that moment you wish you could hear?
Who sacrifices more in our relationship, and how do you feel about that
You.
What do you mean?
You sacrifice more.
Now I'm curious.
What do you mean by that?
You sacrifice your sanity
for my habits-- my cleaning habits.
My--
My lack of order and attention.
I don't know. I just feel like I don't sacrifice anything, so, therefore , you sacrifice more.
Can I tell you? I disagree with you.
Really? Why?
I don't think one of us sacrifices more, but when I look at you, okay.
Your family, and your background, are not exactly jumping up and down,
woohoo!
About you being with a woman, okay?
What about your family?
They already excluded me because I am deaf, so I mean --
You think so? But remember, you were hanging out with your Christian
aunt a lot more before you met me.
Let me put it this way, I really don't get a flying fuck.Okay?
Excuse my language, I really don't. Sorry forgive my language.
In our relationship, I saw how difficult It was with you and your mom.
I'm sorry to bring this up again but for the wedding, alright?
Your mom showed up late. She was supposed to walk you down the aisle. It says a lot.
Your mom is still struggling. So I feel like...
Daughter to mom, that relationship is so important.
You guys were going back and forth.
And I know there were times that you were crying, you were upset.
And dont forget your dad, and don't forget all of that.
Don't forget Carlos, too.
When we got together, your friendship kind of dissolved, too.
I just feel like how we deal with life is a little bit different.
So for me, I felt like "Hey..."
Maybe I was already at a disadvantage.
Maybe I felt like, "So? I'm black, I'm deaf, I'm a female, so what?
I'm already down, so what?
But for you, I feel like, I don't want to say you had to come down.
You didn't.
But you had a lot more obstacles
being with me than I did with you.